Failure To Launch Funny Quotes & Sayings

Disappointments that aren't a result of our own foolishness are a testing of our faith or a correction from heaven, and it is our own fault if these disappointments don't work for our own good. — William Penn

When a teacher is paying extra attention to your child, you believe that it's because you raised such an exceptional kid, one that stands out head and shoulders above the rest of her booger-eating friends. — Drew Magary

Those type of people [in New Orleans] keep me happy and just smiling, you know? I just go hang out and talk with them and they tell me all types of old stories, and sometimes I might even pull my horn out in the middle of the block, and they're playing on beer bottles and different things, and we just do a little second line type thing, just us, four or five people, who are just having fun. That makes me day to be able to do that and go hang out with the people in the (Treme) neighborhood, and to do some shows around town, you know? — Troy Andrews

This is how Americans think. You believe that if something terrible happens to someone, they must have deserved it. — Barbara Kingsolver

With the sax, I learned technique well enough so that it feels like part of my body, and I just express myself. That's where I want to get in golf. — Kenny G

As he [Sir Malcolm Sargeant, conductor of the London Philharmonic] stood in waist deep in the shallows of Whaler's Cove, the littler spinners came drifting over, sleek and dainty, gazing at him curiously with their soft dark eyes. Malcolm was a tactful, graceful man in his movements, and so the spinners were not afraid of him. In moments, he had them all pressing around him, swimming into his arms, and begging him to swim away with them. He looked up, suffused with delight, and remarked to me, 'It's like finding out there really are fairies at the bottom of the garden! — Karen Pryor

I can't live without books, music and wonder. — Lailah Gifty Akita

I opened the door of my mother's stand-alone wardrobe and let the smell of her wash over me. I loved having this one unspoiled part of her left just for me. I leaned forward, slipped my face in between the hanging silks and chiffons. Her scent was warm and possessive. If my idea of home had a smell, this would be it.
Home. Mother. Oh God, please. My face crumpled, and my knees gave out. I pitched forward into her hanging clothes, grabbing at her blouses and dresses, smelling of gardenias and dusk. I fell to the closet floor, pulling some with me. I toppled amongst her shoes; stinging eyes squeezed shut, mouth frozen open in a silent "O." They were out there somewhere, their lifeless bodies, still and cold, and they would never be coming home again. I curled my legs inside the wardrobe and pulled the door closed, shutting myself away with her memory. — Kirby Howell

You just walked in on the Holy Feast of I Swear, Daddy, I'll Kiss the Next Man That Walks Through That Door. It was the only way to make them stop." He blinked. "Seriously. — Seanan McGuire

The happiness of the tender heart is increased by what it can take away from the wretchedness of others. — Jean Antoine Petit-Senn

Good is the enemy of great. And that's one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great. — James C. Collins

I love rain because tears can not be seen in rain. — Charlie Chaplin

Give me a piece of cake from your love-life;
I'll show you how to lick fidelity's cream
off every layer you mistrust. — Munia Khan

I'm a little old-fashioned - I like it when the man opens the door and I like it when a man pays for me. I particularly like it when they pay for dinner or whatever, because I've pretty much done the opposite, but for the exception of James [Taylor], where we split everything down the middle. I've been the larger money earner in practically all of my relationships. There's equality and there are positive differences, which are complimentary. — Carly Simon