Extrajordanary Quotes & Sayings

I've spent my life comparing myself to everyone around me. I've made it an art form. I've developed detailed systems to calculate where I stand, based on GPA, body mass index, fashion, popularity, family income, etc. Based on this criteria, I have always fared somewhere in the safe middle. — Amy Reed

And a bunch of the other guys on the football team would be teaching kids how to bench-press or tackle or rape or whatever it was that football players knew how to do well. — Melissa Kantor

You have to remember now, I was not being terribly successful at going solo. — John Sebastian

You don't make stupid internet videos or show people you have too much free time, you just say the right things and they'll be like, Damn this dude's a real person and I can relate to that. That can make somebody's life, that can make somebody's day, that can be a line that they never forget. — Drake

THEY KIDNAP AND MURDER MY HUSBAND ON OUR HONEYMOON My new husband and I are vacationing in Buenos Aires. — Mindy Kaling

What more than madness reigns, when one short sitting many hundreds drains. — Sir John Davies