Eve Dallas Humor Quotes & Sayings

Assaulting an officer will earn you one to five, Roarke. That's in a cage, not cushy home detention."
"You're not wearing your badge. Or anything else, for that matter." He gave her a friendly nip on the chin. "Be sure to put that in your report. — J.D. Robb

Another day of waiting to lose everything she'd fought so hard to keep. You — Chris Patchell

You're still carrying Africa, but it's eroding at the edges.
Great. We're destroying the Dark Continent. — J.D. Robb

As much as I love food, I'd have to save my girls! — Perrie Edwards

Eve, did you marry me for my money?"
"You bet your ass. And you'd better hold on to it, or I'm history"
"It's very sweet of you to say so. — J.D. Robb

Maybe he does have a choice to make, but everything I feel, everything I know says absoloutely that choice will be you"
"She speaks French and Italian."
"That bitch. — J.D. Robb

We gotta have a toast." Rocky on her pins, Peabody used the table for balance. She managed to raise her glass without spilling more than half its contents on Eve's head. "To the best fucking cop in the whole stinking city, who's gonna marry the sexiest sumbitch I, personally, have ever laid eyes on, and who, because she's so goddamn smart, has seen to it that I'm perman'ly attached to Homicide. Which is where any half-blind asshole could tell you I belong. So there." She downed the rest of her drink, fell backward into her chair, and grinned foolishly.
"Peabody," Eve said and flicked a finger under her eyes. "I've never been more touched."
"I'm shit faced. Dallas."
"The evidence points to it. — J.D. Robb

You're a dead man, Roarke. You don't know it, but you've already stopped breathing. The walking dead. And when you finally realize you're dead, and drop to the ground and you're laying there, I'm going to step over your cold, lifeless body, open the doors of that department store you call a closet, and I torch it.
Eve Dallas — J.D. Robb

Okay. Look, why don't you take care of the half a million things you've been letting dangle in Roarke's Empire of Everything?"
"Catchy title. I may use it one day. — J.D. Robb

It is a lifetime effort to come to grips with being an artistic person. — Billy Cannon

The security officer smiled and said, 'Good afternoon, ma'am,' to me before I
gave him ID."
"It's a sick world, Eve." He resisted taking her hand for another squeeze. "A sick,
sad world. — J.D. Robb

I'd suggest putting your head between your knees, but I think that's physically impossible for you at the moment. — J.D. Robb

When she brought Mira up, Eve gave Roarke another glance. "Don't talk to him," she warned. "He can get bitchy when he's in this deep. I don't know if we have any of that tea stuff."
"I had it stocked, and I don't get bitchy. Bloody, buggering HELL."
Eve just rolled her eyes and got the tea. — J.D. Robb

I don't even know why, but my entire career is contemporary films. Entire career! There's no period movies - there's one - but there's no period movies, no special effects movies. I just do character studies and so, some of them are gonna bump into each other, but I love the challenge, with a good script. I love the challenge of playing not a very pleasant or attractive character that seduces an audience or wins an audience over by the end. — Michael Douglas

I wanted to say something to you, before everything changes again. Because I know this is going to change everything. A good change. An abso mag change, but still. Dallas, you're the best person I know."
"Are you sure you haven't had the drugs already?"
Mavis gave a watery laugh. "I mean it. Leonardo, he's the sweetest, but you're the best. You do what's right, you do what matters, whatever it takes. Your the first of my family, and you really started me on the road. I wouldn't be here, wouldn't be doing this except for you."
"I think Leonardo had more to do with it"
Mavis grinned, rubbed her belly. "Yeah, he had the fun part. I love you. We love you." She too Eve's hand, laid it on her belly. "I wanted to tell you"
"Mavis, if I didn't love you, I'd be a thousand miles from this room. — J.D. Robb

I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off. — J.D. Robb

Just shut your mouth, you ignorant twat."
"Aw, Dallas, he called me a twat. How come you get to be a bitch, but I only get to be a twat."
"It's the rank," Eve told her. "You'll make bitch one day."
"Thanks. That means a lot to me. — J.D. Robb

I'm very, very focused on my children. In fact, I'm very religious about having breakfast with them every morning, having dinner with them every evening, and spend all the weekends with them that I don't work. So as long as I'm not traveling, I'm always with them and I go to their soccer and tennis matches. — Zhang Xin

What time is it in New York?"
He shook his head. "An hour later than it is here. The earth simply has to revolve, Eve, however annoying it is for you."
"It can revolve all it wants. I just don't see why people can't settle on the same time. — J.D. Robb

I'd prefer a debriefing by the professional," Matthias said. "Rather than one of the idiot's exhausting, million-words-in-one-breath babbling explanations." "Hey," I said. "That is a rare talent." "Maybe your only talent. — A&E Kirk

Willard married his father in female form. — Flora Rheta Schreiber

The NBA's been around how long? A hundred years? Fifty years? So to change it now, whoever that person is needs his college degree revoked ... Whoever did that needs to be fired. It was terrible, a terrible decision. Awful. I might get fined for saying that, but so what? — Shaquille O'Neal

Idling has always been my strong point. — Jerome K. Jerome

He's not your type."
Peabody's face clouded exactly as it had when Eve had rejected the perfume. "How come - I like looking at his type."
"Sure, but try to have a conversation with him." Eve dipped her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels. "Guy's in love with himself and figures every woman who gets a load of him has to go moony eyed - just like you're doing. He'd bore you to death in ten minutes because all he'd talk about is himself - how he looks, what he does, what he likes. You'd just be his latest accessory."
Peabody considered, watching as the gold-tipped Adonis posed at the check-in counter. "Okay, so we won't bother to talk. We'll just have sex."
"He'd be a lousy lay - wouldn't give a damn if you got off or not."
"I'm getting off just looking at him." But she sighed when he took out a small silver-backed mirror and examined his face with obvious delight. "It's times like this I hate it when you're right. — J.D. Robb

Eve-"In the name of all that is holy ... It's 2060, not 1760. Can't they figure out a better way to handle this process?"
Roarke-"Amen — J.D. Robb

It all jibed, and the books would close on Jasper as death by misadventure. Unofficially, Eve labeled it death by stupidity, but there wasn't a place on the sheet for that particular observation. - Lt. Eve Dallas on a drunk fall off the roof — J.D. Robb