Erma Bombeck On Motherhood Quotes & Sayings

I was a good decathlete until I got with a coach that really knew how to train specifically for the event ... I'd really describe it as like being a juggler; you have ten balls and you're trying to get them all in the air at the same time. — Dan O'Brien

It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today. — Erma Bombeck

Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being. — Erma Bombeck

In the first place, a man who can work for five days, or even for five minutes, without any selfish motive whatever, without thinking of future, of heaven, of punishment, or anything of the kind, has in him the capacity to become a powerful moral giant. — Swami Vivekananda

Being dependent on this world will lead to betrayal. It will deceive us at the right time. It is better to depend on a pillow; at least it will not move away from us at the right time. The one that is living will move away. — Dada Bhagwan

This book of mine has not been manufactured: it has been garnered. — Marcel Proust

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child. — Erma Bombeck

The duties I ask of myself are obligatory for absolutely every individual, everywhere. Moreover, just as I recognize these rights and duties of others, I would like the others to recognize them form me as well. — Ameen Rihani

Strength is a matter of a made up mind. — John Beecher

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake. — Erma Bombeck

I've gone to skin doctors and they'll say to you, 'We should remove this because it's pre-cancerous,' and I'll say, 'Explain pre-cancerous to me.' I'll listen for about twenty minutes and I'll say excuse me, 'Is pre-cancerous like pre-dead? So you're saying it could turn into cancer but it's not cancer?' — George Hamilton

Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience. — Erma Bombeck

Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on. — Erma Bombeck

The mist hung in the air like a prancing unicorn. — Graham Joyce

Instinct made him want to fold her into his arms and fix her hurt, but instead, he steeled himself to finish it.

"What? Why do you look so suprised? You are a sex demon. Did you think we could ride off into the sunset, set up a house and fuck up a bunch of kids? The only thing I've ever wanted from you is sex and blood. Fucking and feeding go together for me, and since I can't feed from you anymore...."

He gestured to the door.

"Get out, and don't ever come near me again."

~Con — Larissa Ione

Rawr! I'm a duke of Hell, bitches!' and then he was like, 'This is my turf! Welcome to Castle Cocksucker!' and then he was all, 'You're all gonna die!' and then it was, 'Fuck, this sword hurts!' and finally he was like, 'Oh fuck, I'm dead! — Elliott Kay

If somebody says to you, 'MTV,' you think of Mick Jagger on a phone screaming at that phone: 'I want my MTV.' That, to me, was always the epitome of great advertising. — George Lois