Erma Bombeck Motherhood Quotes & Sayings

Old terror crouched in the shadows. It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. It was the terror of impermanence, the knowledge that all this would pass away, that a beautiful voice or a wonderful figure was something whose arrival you couldn't control and whose departure you couldn't delay. — Terry Pratchett

It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today. — Erma Bombeck

Poor Knight! he really had two periods, the firsta dull man writing broken English, the seconda broken man writing dull English. — Vladimir Nabokov

Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being. — Erma Bombeck

I don't have any phobias per se, but both tight and vast spaces tend to make me nervous after a prolonged time. — Allison Tolman

Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience. — Erma Bombeck

I think anyone who comes upon a Nautilus machine suddenly will agree with me that its prototype was clearly invented at some time in history when torture was considered a reasonable alternative to diplomacy. — Anna Quindlen

Always do something that requires you and your date to talk. — Steven Hill

Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on. — Erma Bombeck

I try to treat people as people and not put them in pigeonholes. — Tony Abbott

Pulled into my convenient neighborhood fast food restaurant. I ordered shrimp salad, onion rings, and a beer. The shrimp were straight out of the freezer, the onion rings soggy. Looking around the place, though, I failed to spot a single customer banging on a tray or complaining to a waitress. So I shut up and finished my food. Expect nothing, get nothing. — Haruki Murakami

The color of her eyes was mossy gold. It make me want to write crap poetry and hire a skywriter. Quinn Sullivan — Penny Reid

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake. — Erma Bombeck

No one could have less faith in the absolute and definitive importance of the work created by man, because I believe that this world is nothing but a dream. — Gustave Moreau

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child. — Erma Bombeck