Erectile Quotes & Sayings

Many of us were kind of irritated with Obama for larding it with tax cut, which we didn't think was going to be stimulative. — Barack Obama

I am a student of love. — Jaclyn Moriarty

It had been a long while since I'd watched any television, and things had only gotten weirder. Beauty pageants for infants; ruddy men in trucker caps fighting over abandoned storage lockers; public shamings of compulsive hoarders and pre-diabetics; affluent suburban women made up like transvestite hookers, competing with each other in feats of coarseness and cruelty; barely literate pregnant teens with tattoos, unfocused eyes, and futures like wrecked cars; apoplectic crypto-fascists spitting bile and paranoia; a carnival midway of weight loss devices, hair growth creams, erectile dysfunction potions, and pottery from which herbs grew like green hair. It was like the day room of a surrealist mental hospital, or any big city ER on a summer Saturday night. — Peter Spiegelman

Thank God for the American Affordable Care Act. It was passed in a limited form right before the Rising began, despite the opposition of one hell of a lot of people who thought that providing health care to their fellow citizens was somehow, I don't know, inappropriate. Honestly, it was a miracle the thing passed at all, considering that we're talking about the era of vaccine denial and homeopathic cures for everything from autism to erectile dysfunction. If the Rising hadn't come along when it did, most of the United States would probably have died of whooping cough before 2020, leaving the middle part of the continent ripe for Canadian invasion. But — Mira Grant

It is difficult to describe how it feels to gaze at living human beings whom you've seen perform in hard-core porn. To shake the hand of a man whose precise erectile size, angle, and vasculature are known to you. That strange I-think-we've-met-before sensation one feels upon seeing any celebrity in the flesh is here both intensified and twisted. It feels intensely twisted to see reigning industry queen Jenna Jameson chilling out at the Vivid booth in Jordaches and a latex bustier and to know already that she has a tattoo of a sundered valentine with the tagline HEART BREAKER on her right buttock and a tiny hairless mole just left of her anus. To watch Peter North try to get a cigar lit and to have that sight backlit by memories of his artilleryesque ejaculations.13 To have seen these strangers' faces in orgasm - that most unguarded and purely neural of expressions, the one so vulnerable that for centuries you basically had to marry a person to get to see it. — David Foster Wallace

He seemed to be lying on the bed. He could not see very well. Her youthful, rapacious face, with blackened eyebrows, leaned over him as he sprawled there.

"'How about my present?' she demanded, half wheedling, half menacing.

"Never mind that now. To work! Come here. Not a bad mouth. Come here. Come closer. Ah!

"No. No use. Impossible. The will but not the way. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Try again. No. The booze, it must be. See Macbeth. One last try. No, no use. Not this evening, I'm afraid.

"All right, Dora, don't you worry. You'll get your two quid all right. We aren't paying by results.

"He made a clumsy gesture. 'Here, give us that bottle. That bottle off the dressing-table.'

"Dora brought it. Ah, that's better. That at least doesn't fail. — George Orwell

My hand is stroking the back of Nan's head, my mind racing with every possible scenario. Daniel announced he's gay. Daniel has Erectile Dysfunction. Daniel confessed to being a vampire and not being able to have sex with her because he might kill her. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

schoolchildren. Plus he has erectile dysfunction. — J.A. Konrath

We live in a drug culture! Drugs are everywhere and touted as the panacea for every ailment in our society. We have drugs for hyper children, drugs for depression - some of the most insidious drugs ever - , drugs for allergies, drugs for acne, drugs for emphysema and drugs for erectile disfunction - maybe the most useful of them all. And let's not forget the side effects of these wonder drugs! It's cliche to even talk about drug advertisements and the laundry list of side effects tacked onto the end of them, usually rattled off at warp speed by someone on loan from the local auction house. I've seen ads for acne medicines that include side effects that are potentially fatal! Seriously? "Hey! Buy our Acne-Magic Drug! You'll have crystal clear skin! In your coffin!" What the hell is wrong with us? — Steve Bivans

Michael Jackson is one of the most normal people I know. — Elizabeth Taylor

Fifteen years ago tomorrow I had open heart surgery, a quintuple bypass surgery. Thanks to all of my doctors. Because of them, in 15 years of life I've been able to experience, well, acid reflux, short-term memory loss, and erectile dysfunction. Thanks for all your work. It's great to be alive. — David Letterman

Bloody talk about bloody orgasms with your own bloody woman not mine," Barrons said tightly. "You don't know a thing about her orgasms and never will. — Karen Marie Moning

The basic experience of everyone is the experience of human limitation. — Flannery O'Connor

What takes more courage. To live ... or to die? — Anne Rouen

I knew I was in bad shape because, despite how my gut clenched with hunger, my fangs didn't lengthen. Erectile dysfunction. I had vampire ED, on top of everything else. — Fayth Devlin

Life is lived in the extra beats we hold as time unfolds. Soon, the two beats become four, the four become eight, and eventually we will have mastered the art of experiencing life, of feeling who we are and where we are on our path to greatness, of creating real moments, of living as joyous masters in the infinite and divine Freedom of Now. — Brendon Burchard

Worry is to human beings ... what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

But Zeus did not tell Aphrodite that age was catching up on him. And that Gods, just as Mortal men, suffered from Erectile Dysfunction. And that the daily harvesting of his sperm sacs by Hera & Themis in order to provide three amphoras full of seed had not helped.
And that thus, he, just as all those who suffered from Erectile Dysfunction, actually preferred catching oysters & eating them rather than deflowering the owners of the oysters. And thus, the Big Crunch that had been planned, now risked becoming the Big Bathos, the Big Let Down. — Nicholas Chong

When the phoenix emerges from the ashes, it can burn all the brighter. — K.F. Breene

The very first company I started failed with a great bang. The second one failed a little bit less, but still failed. The third one, you know, proper failed, but it was kind of okay. I recovered quickly. Number four almost didn't fail. It still didn't really feel great, but it did okay. Number five was PayPal. — Max Levchin

By the 1880s, baseball was entrenched in the Cape's sandy soil. Semipro teams, commonplace before World War I, were organized into the first Cape Cod League in 1923 - Orleans joined the four original teams five years later. By 1940, the league had foundered on financial shoals and disbanded. — Jane Leavy

(clearing throat) I, Osiris, Egyptian God of the Dead, would like to write this formal complaint against all the gods that have repeatedly stolen my wooden penis and placed it in various locations around the building. Most recently, I had discovered my penis inside of Ishtar's ass and I'm none too happy about it. No one should have to endure the kind of humiliation that I did. I would like to see immediate disciplinary action. — Dylan Callens

Our duty to ourselves, to posterity, and to mankind, call on us
by every motive which is sacred or honorable, to watch over the safety of our beloved country
during the troubles which agitate and convulse the residue of the world, and to sacrifice to
that all personal and local considerations. — Thomas Jefferson

An abundance of peer-reviewed science is showing that a whole foods, plant-based diet prevents most heart attacks, strokes, and even many kinds of cancer. It gets you to your ideal weight easily and sustainably, reverses Type 2 diabetes, and even fixes erectile dysfunction (because it greatly improves circulation!). — Kathy Freston

Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will. — Conan O'Brien

You can waste your whole life trying to be everything to everybody. Pick your passion. And let them pick theirs. — Josh Becker

He was a middle aged dirt-bag, and was more than likely one of the intended audience for all of the erectile dysfunction commercials which littered the television. — Scott Hildreth

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone."
"If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. — Molly Harper

A number of holistic and complementary medical doctors in the US, from general practitioners to psychiatrists, are using maca with a variety of patients. Both men and women report a significant boost in libido. And a number of men who have suffered from erectile dysfunction have improved, as a result of taking maca. — Chris Kilham

You think I can't get it up anymore, maybe? Lemme tell you, you eat enough garlic and it stands up every time. — Alberto Vitale

I swear, they need to make an app for Facebook that has little electrodes hooked up to our private parts, so when we see some idiot spouting off about something he really doesn't know jack shit about, as soon as we reach for the keyboard, it sends 110 volts coursing through our dis-functioning erectiles, or better yet, through HIS, before he posts it to begin with. — Steve Bivans

(What she perhaps didn't realize is that the embalming fluid pumped into the veins expands the body's erectile tissues, with the result that male anatomy lab cadavers may be markedly better endowed in death than they were in life.) — Mary Roach

You talked to your mother about Duncan's erectile dysfunction?" He glared down at her. "Has he considered taking your TV away? — Dana Marie Bell

He was frigging Dionysus! The man who invented the three-way! He'd had sex every possible way known to man. He'd made improvements to the Kama Sutra. And he was suffering from a major case of wet noodle. — Rosanna Leo

America should be cooling down the tensions in the internet, making it a more trusted environment, making it a more secure environment, making it a more reliable environment, because that's the foundation of our economy and our future. — Edward Snowden

if you'd like, i can show you the trophy case on the way out so you can bask in the achievements of the alumni who are now old enough to be suffering from erectile dysfunction, memory loss, and death. — John Green

Something had happened to his entire body that was very much like what happens to the erectile tissue of his organ when a man is sexually aroused. It increases marvellously in size, no matter what the man wants to happen. It goes from something flaccid and secret to becoming a kind of weapon. — Anne Rice

In football, side netting can sometimes look like a real goal and it can make spectators jubilate for a moment, and then ponder! So is life! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Since we're all rich with bitcoins ... we ought to put some of this unearned wealth to good use. — Hal Finney

Lena scowled at the empty space in her living room. "Oh sure, thanks, I had fun too." She'd stayed awake, spilled a cup of perfectly good tea, and for what? A spirit with the noncorporeal equivalent of erectile dysfunction. Mostly she was fine being permanently on-call in the Veil. On nights like this, however, it sucked. — Laura Oliva