Endings Funny Quotes & Sayings

[Donald] Trump: he'd probably declare in Hiroshima that he'd nuke half of Asia if it would help the West to retain its control over the world. At least one would not harbor any false hopes. — Andre Vltchek

The clitoris contains 8,000 nerve endings. It makes it easy to have sex. With yourself. — Dannii Minogue

It's funny to think about endings now. Now that all there is to do is wait. Now that the real ending is coming, all of the other endings feel like something else completely. All of the goodbyes, and leaving the people she loved. The people she loved leaving her. They felt like endings at the time. But the next day, she had gotten out of bed, and maybe there was a hollow pit where her stomach used to be, maybe she didn't feel like eating or talking or seeing people for a while, but mostly, things stayed the same. — Alexandra Coutts

Individual courage is the only interesting thing in life. — Simone Signoret

An early editor characterized my books as 'romantic comedy for intelligent adults.' I think people see them as funny but kind. I don't set out to write either funny or kind, but it's a voice they like, quirky like me ... And you know, people like happy endings. — Elinor Lipman

If men were like ants, there would be no interest in human freedom. If individual men, like ants, were uniform, inter changeable, devoid of specific personality traits of their own, then who would care whether they were free or not? Who, indeed, would care if they lived or died? The glory of the human race is the uniqueness of each individual, the fact that every person, though similar in many ways to others, possesses a completely individuated personality of his own. It is the fact of each person's uniqueness - the fact that no two people can be wholly interchangeable - that makes each and every man irreplaceable and that makes us care whether he lives or dies, whether he is happy or oppressed. And, finally, it is the fact that these unique personalities need freedom for their full development that constitutes one of the major arguments for a free society. — Murray N. Rothbard

Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere. — Lorna Jane Cook

No I am not all right!" Chrestomanci said, after five minutes of this. "I have worldwide blisters. I need a shave. I'm tired out and I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast yesterday. Would you feel alright in my position? — Diana Wynne Jones

All right, my hope - but I am not saying the rest of it - I have something you need to feel."
She feigned the sound of outrage. "But we barely know each other, sir!"
He laughed softly. "But you must hold it in your hand and feel it change," he urged, in her ear. "I insist. I can wait no longer."
She knew they were on a serious subject, but the flutter of his breath on her skin, the low drawl of his words - heat raced along all her nerve endings. "Will I like it?"
"Well, I do have to apologize for its size. It is rather small." And with that, he pressed something rather small into her hand. — Sherry Thomas

In a near-by clearing, Cricket and How-Ya-Do came upon a ridiculously comical sight.
It was an extra-large hyper-manic bird yelling at the funniest looking Crawfish that she had ever seen. The Crawfish stood over a foot tall, which just does not happen, and he was wearing a light-blue beanie and gold chains around his neck. — Darwun St. James

There are few things more mysterious than endings. I mean, for example, when did the Greek gods end, exactly? Was there a day when Zeus waved magisterially down from Olympus and Aphrodite and her lover Ares, and her crippled husband Hephaestus ) I always felt sorry for him), and all the rest got rolled up like a worn-out carpet? — Salley Vickers

Being female was just one more way I felt different and weird. I was also a young 'un, and also my cartoons were not like typical 'New Yorker' cartoons. — Roz Chast

Funny thing, time, how it all fit together despite such arbitrary beginnings and endings, the whole of it played out and calculated down to the very second, each breath, every sunset, dream and waking moment designed, the beat of every heart accounted for, each life a preordained piece of a much larger puzzle, a precisely measured unit in the infinite vacuum of space and time. — Greg F. Gifune

I don't really sell many records. — Patti Scialfa

Coming true is not the only purpose of a dream. Its most important purpose is to get us in touch with where dreams come from, where passion comes from, where happiness comes from. Even a shattered dream can do that for you. — Lisa Bu

Real freedom is having nothing. I was freer when I didn't have a cent. — Mike Tyson

It's safer for you to stay with the others,' he said.
Safer? He didn't realize.
I was already dead. — Ruta Sepetys

People are defined by their relationships. Every single one is a thread in our mind that wraps neatly to make the nest of emotions we live in. Two of those threads- at the very core of my nest- had snapped and now I felt nothing. — Anoosha Lalani

Success, in every case, comes from the alchemy of your health, your mind, your positive energy, and the real world situations you persistently improve for yourself. — James Altucher

I had just finished working on a play, and we started to talk to the 'Happy Endings' folks. There was interest from both sides, which was exciting, because I thought it was very fresh. Adam Pally's just a really funny, talented dude. I thought I'd be great to jump on and do some comedy. — James Wolk

I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably "over-workaholled". — Demetri Martin

This was the first time I had come face-to-face with the other side of fundamentalism. The fundamentalism that I saw in my neighborhood was sexist and misogynistic and small-minded, but it wasn't violent. It was giving and loving and brotherly. It was about helping the poor, and since everybody was poor, that meant everybody helping everybody. There wasn't the kind of urban meanness you find in many American cities. It was as if a farm community had been transplanted to the city. — Richard Engel

There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It's funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don't want a baby? Don't have one. I don't want to get married? I won't. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don't apologize. Don't explain. Don't ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it. — Shonda Rhimes