Endearingly Awkward Quotes & Sayings

I was a class clown since second grade. — Eric Andre

Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends. — Fran Lebowitz

Thoughts are the place where we can and must begin to change. There the light of God first begins to move upon us through the word of Christ, and there the divine Spirit begins to direct our will to God and his way. — Dallas Willard

Apparently people who were in books actually sounded like a book when they talked. This was quite the surprising discovery. — Eliezer Yudkowsky

I have the nagging sense that my true friends are waiting for me, beyond college, unusual women whose ambitions are as big as their past transgressions, whose hair is piled high, dramatic like topiaries at Versailles, and who never, ever say "too much information" when you mention a sex dream you had about your father. — Lena Dunham

Working mothers do an hour more per day than working fathers do and working mothers do on average an hour more per day with the kids than working fathers do. — James Levine

I glanced up at Zay, then walked over to stand next to him.
"You look good with a baby in your arms," he murmured.
I took his hand, careful with his fingers that were still wrapped in tape.
"Don't get your hopes up, Jones. I'm not the settling-down type."
"Want to bet on that?" he asked.
"Sure." I made a fist; so did he. We pumped three times.
I threw paper. Zayvion threw scissors.
I'd lost. Startled, I looked up at him. "Two out of three?"
Zay grinned. So did I. — Devon Monk

I signed up to be a musician, I want to perform, I want to sing. — Bruno Mars

A yellow dog barks at him from behind a chain-link fence, all possessive ferocity and no damn balls. Just like the gang-banger kids. They think a pistol equals cojones. That's why they tuck them into their pants. — Lauren Beukes

Obedience seems to be "proof" of sorts that we do indeed love Jesus. — Donovan Graham

An opera singer is like an athlete before a match. An athlete cannot overdo anything. In order to perform at the highest possible level, you need to refrain from activities so as to be able to express this power. — Andrea Bocelli