Quotes & Sayings About Emo

Her love was trembling in laughter on her lips. — Oscar Wilde

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair. — Emo Philips

I think with 'Chunky Rice,' it felt novel to me to give this emo twist on these funny animals. — Craig Thompson

I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. — Emo Philips

When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage. — Emo Philips

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon. — Emo Philips

I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back. — Emo Philips

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. — Emo Philips

I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible. — Emo Philips

They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers. — Emo Philips

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow. — Emo Philips

I tried body surfing once, but how often do you find a corpse? — Emo Philips

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!' — Emo Philips

For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving. — Emo Philips

Unicorns are real and emo is imaginary. — Mikey Way

I went through a few phases of finding myself: I dabbled in musical theater, chess club, dance troupe, splatter-painting, school mascot (go Wildcats), babysitter, photojournalist, drill team girl, emo kid - and not one of them defined me, but every single one will always play a part in who I am. — Debby Ryan

I've never recognized 'emo' as a genre of music. I always thought it was the most retarded term ever. I know there is this generic commonplace that every band that gets labeled with that term hates it. They feel scandalized by it. But honestly, I just thought that all the bands I played in were punk rock bands. The reason I think it's so stupid is that - what, like the Bad Brains weren't emotional? What - they were robots or something? It just doesn't make any sense to me. — Guy Picciotto

My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear. — Emo Philips

Honestly, I'd rather be anywhere else. Even home, where my dad begins almost every conversation with, "You should lose the black clothes and wear something with color." Puh-lease. Like I want to look like every Barbie clone in Hell High, a.k.a. Oklahoma's insignificant Haloway High School. Ironically, Dad doesn't appreciate the bright blue streaks in my originally blond/now-dyed-black hair. Go figure. That's color, right? — Gena Showalter

Emo always meant emotional. Any kind of art or music should be emotional. If its not, than it's pretty much just a jingle selling bleach or pizza. — Frank Iero

I was able to come up with a couple articles for the magazine, I was able to solicit help from a bunch of my friends to contribute pieces: Patton Oswalt, Seth Green, Emo Phillips, Chris Hardwick, John Hodgman, and more. It's very much a "Weird Al" themed issue, so I'd like to think that there's a lot of "Weird Al" flavor throughout but I think it'd be generous really to call me an editor. — Al Yankovic

Anyone who remembered the grim, gun-toting, thug-murdering Batman of 1939 could see that he'd become a fundamentally different guy: a grinning, lantern-jawed, wisecracking adventure hero who'd left that emo "creature of the night" shtick far behind. — Glen Weldon

Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. — Emo Philips

I'd been labelled a goth, an emo, a druggie, a loser, and my personal favorite only because it showed just how ignorant people were: a freak. — Nicole Williams

If an asteroid is coming toward you, you don't have to blow it up. You just have to slow it down long enough for our country to rotate out of the way. — Emo Philips

It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat. — Emo Philips

The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn't I see you on television? I said, I don't know. You can't see out the other way. — Emo Philips

What do you do when the alienating silence deafens your 'bootless cries'? — Solange Nicole

She said Mom closed up the house one day, turned the oven on full, and sat by its open door. Apparently it's still a Cry For Help, even though our oven's electric. — D.B.C. Pierre

When I was young, my father had a serious heart attack. He
survived, but we lost our house and car. Under the Canadian Medicare
system, though, we would have kept the house and car and would have just
had to pay the inheritance tax. — Emo Philips

Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can't continue with the "urbane sophisticate" 'til the day I die. — Emo Philips

When I was a kid, my nickname was Mr. Baseball. Because of the stitches. — Emo Philips

Always write exactly what you're feeling at the exact moment when writing something like poetry or an emotional novel. Put yourself, pour all emotions into your work ... make yourself cry, feel joy if you are writing joyful things, feel lovey if it calls for it ... just put your heart and soul into all that you do ... then you will be a good writer when you can make whoever reads your work, feel. -Nina Jean Slack — Nina Jean Slack

One man's pet-stained carpet is another man's Twister game. — Emo Philips

The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement. — Emo Philips

The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow. — Emo Philips

I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it? — Emo Philips

She can paint a pretty picture but this story has a twist. The paintbrush is a razor and the canvas is her wrist. — Amy Efaw

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. — Emo Philips

I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine. — Emo Philips

I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, "I am a bulemic". — Emo Philips

My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She'll be in front of everyone with her um ... breast ... out feeding it. You know ... cereal or whatever. — Emo Philips

My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know ... You break it, you buy it. — Emo Philips

Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long? — Emo Philips

I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson. — Emo Philips

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some. — Emo Philips

If I'm too old to be Emo, how do you account for the very Emo and very old Edgar Allan Poe? Checkmate! — John Green

I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me. — Emo Philips

I realize I look very hip hop but I'm really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor. — Jim Gaffigan

I read that nine out of 10 women fantasize about having an unknown man leap through their bedroom window at night and make mad, passionate love to them. Who would think with those odds, I would now be facing 150 hours of community service. — Emo Philips

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence ... sort of like the Post Office with tanks. — Emo Philips

The most violent friendships soonest wear themselves out. — William Hazlitt

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. — Emo Philips

Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat. — Emo Philips

When I was a kid, my favourite time of the year when I was child was that magical first snowfall. I'd yell Yippee! Snow! and run up to the front door and shout You know the deal ... You have to let me in now. — Emo Philips

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby. — Emo Philips

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like. — Emo Philips

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in. — Emo Philips

I learned about sex the hard way ... from books. — Emo Philips

Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo. — Emo Philips

To my surprise, the sensation of query filled my stomach, spreading through to every corner. This was followed by each point of query ending at the same answer. Device Nineteen had responded to the question by coming to the conclusion that oblivion was the end of every path.
Great. My roommate's an emo.>
My stomach reviewed the comment and rumbled queries to various parts of the diamond, but most were returned unanswered because the required systems were not yet online. — J. Cameron McClain

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. — Emo Philips

Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to get her picture taken.
"Aughh!" she said miserably, looking in the vanity mirror in the truck of the cab and fingering a wavy curl near her temple. "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. You know what we look like? A couple of emo douche bags."
"Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name."
[That's brilliant! It's already the unofficial name of more bands than I can count.] — Kevin Hearne

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. — Emo Philips

My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment. — Emo Philips

Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag.'
Caelen took a deep breath, like he was in pain, and stood up. His voice was low, guttural. 'I was hoping I'd get the chance to kill you.'
'You won't be killing anyone, you sad little emo git.'
'You've stood in the way of our love for long enough.'
'Just listening to you makes me want to top myself, you self-pitying Paranormal Romance novel reject.'
Caelen glared. 'Stop insulting me.'
'Why? If you cry will your mascara run? — Derek Landy

Emo is pathetic. It's a tired attempt at making bad music cool, all while rocking dumb haircuts and unisexual belts. Furthermore, adding the suffix '-core' to a description doesn't make it innovative. It makes you look like a tool with no imagination. — Corey Taylor

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ. — Emo Philips

I've been lucky enough to play roles that are not just the preppy cheerleader or sullen emo girl. I've been able to play roles that are really vast and varied and very three-dimensional. Fingers crossed that it remains the same. — Tara Lynne Barr

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. — Emo Philips

I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose. — Emo Philips

Girls throw their panties on the stage, but rarely if ever do they fit. — Emo Philips

I'm filthy stinking rich - well, two out of three ain't bad. — Emo Philips

I'm sure there are people who say like, "I was wearing weird emo eyeliner," but there's something pretty embarrassing about the jazz phase. — Nick Kroll

When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny. — Emo Philips

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers ... damn anthropologists. — Emo Philips

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference. — Emo Philips

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel. — Emo Philips

Ambiguity is the devil's volleyball. — Emo Philips

Not that I love thy children, whose dull eyes see nothing save their own unlovely woe, Whose minds know nothing, nothing care to know ... — Oscar Wilde

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. — Emo Philips

Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be. — Emo Philips

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen. — Emo Philips

If you're worth over $50m you should have to dress like that guy on the Monopoly box. The super-rich shouldn't get all the benefits of looking like a regular guy. — Emo Philips

I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center. — Emo Philips

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often. — Emo Philips

I caught my wife in bed with my best friend the other day. I was crushed. They could have waited till I'd got out. — Emo Philips

Everything I think I can't say 'cause it'd come out fucking emo, like, if I were to say what I've been thinking all day, every day: I don't know if I can go on like this forever; or, I'm also always thinking, it shouldn't be this hard just to have a brain. Everyone has a brain. — Elissa Washuta

Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddamn — James Thurber

Teenagers are very dark, I think. That's all the goth and emo stuff. They're experiencing a lot of stuff that adults experience, but in a much more raw way. It's that extremity that I'm interested in, to be able to go down so far and come up so quickly. — Meg Rosoff

My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something. — Emo Philips

I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times, at a hundred bucks a pop. But then I realized that no therapy session would ever cheer me up half as much as if I was just strolling along and found a hundred dollar bill. — Emo Philips

We played in Texas about a year ago, at Emo's, the famous country and western club in Austin. And I figured, well, if I'm finally gonna die onstage, that's where it's going to be! — Alan Vega

I've always suffered from a complete inability to sense who's important. — Emo Philips

Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block. — Emo Philips

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. — Emo Philips

I pray a simple prayer every morning. It's an ecumenical prayer. Whether you're Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu, I think it speaks to the heart of every faith. It goes "Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen." — Emo Philips

I was emotional. I wanted to be taken seriously. I was pretty emo. I was reciting Shakespeare monologues when I was 10. I still know the whole 'To be, or not to be ... ' monologue, because I knew it when I was 10. — Constance Wu

Pam (from The Office) is not intimidating, like one of those women who wears makeup and tailored clothes, and has a good job that she enjoys, and confidence, and an adult woman's sexuality. There's nothing scary about Pam, because there's no mystery; she's just like the boys who like her; mousy and shy. The ultimate emo-boy fantasy is to meet a nerdy, cute girl just like him, and nobody else will realize she's pretty. And she'll melt when she sees his record collection because it's just like hers ... and she'll never want to go out to a party for which he'll be forced to comb his hair, or buy grown-up shoes or tie a tie, or demonstrate a hearty handshake, or make eye contact, or relate to people who work in different fields, or to basically act like a man. — Julie Klausner

The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference. — Emo Philips