Embarrassing Dad Quotes & Sayings

My dad's name is Vernon and my mom liked the initials, V. V. My sisters and I got named Victoria, Valerie and Vincent so we'd be V. V.'s, too. But, then when you start getting pets' names that start with a 'v,' it's a little embarrassing. — Vince Vaughn

Lisa, please tell me you didn't say anything embarrassing?"
"Like what?" she said.
"Like the time I got stuck in the cubbyhouse window." I held my breath in hope.
"Told him."
"The tomato up my nose incident?"
"Told him."
"The fingers I superglued together?"
"Told him.
"Is there anything you didn't tell him?" I asked anxiously.
I could see Lisa almost congratulating herself on the other end of the phone. "Yes. I didn't tell him about the time you had an erection for two days straight and Dad had to take you to emergency about it. — Renae Kaye

I've met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited to
school for Career Day. — Rick Riordan

Elaine Oliver is one of those people who thinks she needs to yell into a cell phone and cannot imagine anyone else might hear her conversation. 'I'm stiff from that yoga class Juana made me go to!' she was shouting, presumably to Dad. 'I did something to my groin area ... Sure, you can massage it later. — E. Lockhart

My sister taught me the best trick. When the salesclerk isn't looking, you make Sharpie marks on the front of all the others so no one else will buy them. I mean, how embarrassing would it be to have someone else show up at the dance wearing the same dress! This way, I know I'll be the only one."
"God,I wouldn't have the guts.What if you got caught!"
The Sharpie-wielding Phillite shrugged. "I would put them all on my dad's card. But then I wouldn't be able to buy the Manolos ... "
She and her impressed friends headed down the hall.Frankie banged his locker closed with unnecessary force. "Mind-boggling," he muttered. "All that money, and they can't buy a clue. — Melissa Jensen

My dad has worked so hard his whole life. He doesn't deserve to see his daughters going out embarrassing themselves and flashing their knickers. I want to make my parents proud. — Petra Stunt

My mom was a professional fitness competitor, so I go into the gym with her. I train with my dad and mother. It's embarrassing, because she's really strong. — Booboo Stewart

Even if I tried to be my dad, it would be a mediocre, slightly embarrassing version. — Jason Ritter

The late William Jennings Bryan, L.L.D., always had one great advantage in controversy; he was never burdened with an understanding of his opponent's case. — H.L. Mencken

Making people believe the unbelievable is no trick; it's work. Belief and reader absorption come in the details: An overturned tricycle in the gutter of an abandoned neighbourhood can stand for everything. — Stephen King

is Whitney? Is that your dealer?" "Whitney Houston," Mom said. "You know, dear. She was that singer who sang that song you like that Helena performed." "'Hit Me Baby, One More Time?" "That's Britney, dear." "'Dirty?" "That was Christina." "Umbrella?" "And that was Rihanna. Larry, you're embarrassing yourself. You have a gay son, for God's sake. How can you not know your divas?" Mom sounded affronted. "Paul? Paul! If you can hear me, don't listen to your father! He obviously doesn't know his ass from his elbow!" "Language," Dad scolded. "And I know my divas. I know them very well. What about that Woman Goo-Goo that Helena performs like? — T.J. Klune

Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.' — Chelsea Handler

Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil's mouth. — Nora Sakavic

Growing up with an exterminator as a father was always slightly embarrassing for Anna and her brother, Kevin. "I remember," Tommy begins, "one year when Anna was about eight, and it was 'bring your daughter to work day.' That was a big thing back in the eighties," he chuckles. "Well, I remember Anna came down to breakfast that morning and told me she didn't want to come." Tommy half smiles, but shakes his head slightly and closes his eyes for a second. " 'Dad-dyyy, bugs are nasty. Why can't you be a pilot or a doctor or something cool like that?' I didn't even argue with her, I just let her go to school." Tommy sighs, "I told her I was sorry I didn't have a cooler job. — Marina Keegan

I don't think my kids have to worry too much about me embarrassing them because that's not how I would want to grow up, with wacky dad showing up at school and performing for everyone. — Steve Carell

Once I had a boy in here whose name was Liam. One of the first things he told me was that I couldn't make him do anything he didn't want. He wasn't going to do any work for me. He wasn't going to listen to a single thing I said. — Torey L. Hayden

A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father. — Jay Leno

Ooh, big day in town for our park warden," I said. "They're even making you wear the uniform.
Hayley's mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it."
Dad turned as red as his hair.
Mom's laugh floated out from her studio. "Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone. — Kelley Armstrong

Hey Jade?' He called out holding two packages of maxi pads.
I shook my head violently to stop Dad from talking, but from where he stood, I doubted he could see I was talking to a boy. A mildly annoying, but nonetheless cute boy.
'Do you want wings or no wings?'
It was official.
This was shaping up to be the Most. Embarrassing. Day. Ever. — Helene Boudreau

Like pregnant women lose their teeth feeding the stranger, junkies lose their yellow fangs feeding the monkey. — William S. Burroughs