Eifferts Quotes & Sayings

Who but an English professor would threaten to kill a duck a day and hold up a goose as an example? — Richard Russo

My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you? — Anthony Jeselnik

Great," Simon said. "Maybe I'll even make it back before my mother notices I'm gone. What's the time difference between here and Manhattan?"
"You have a mother?" Aline looked amazed. — Cassandra Clare

I tend to be a bitch when it's hot. — John A. Williams

The pharisees minded what God spoke, but not what He intended. They were busy in the outward work of the hand, but incurious of the affections and choice of the heart. So God was served in the letter, they did not much inquire into His purpose; and therefore they were curious to wash their hands, but cared not to purify their hearts. — Jeremy Taylor

I would have far more fear of being mistaken, and of finding that the Christian religion was true, than of not being mistaken in believing it true. — Blaise Pascal

Dear Maya,
Life is an illusion.
And as it turns out, so is death.
What is real?
What remains when we all fade away?
Two things: Love. Forgiveness.
Don't forget — Cathy Ostlere

Opposition strengthens the manly will. — Amos Bronson Alcott