Effing Quotes & Sayings

This is Kurt Vonnegut in the effing state-of-the-art lethal injection facility in Huntsville, effing, Texas signing off. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Be a kid of honesty. Wave it like a banner for all to see.. Be a kid who loves surprises... Be curious, but content. Be loyal, but independent. Be kind. To everyone. Treat every day like you're making waffles... Live your effing life. Do it with gusto... Know yourself. Love yourself. Be a good friend. Be a kid of hope and substance. Be a kid of appetite — David Arnold

To all my readers. I don't need my daughter's okay to do anything. I was a writer before she was my daughter. The CRANK books were inspired by my desire to keep others from following in her path, but they are FICTION. And seriously, WTF do I need her permission for? Are you effing kidding me? I'm her MOTHER. — Ellen Hopkins

Remember the great film with Bette Davis, All About Eve? There's a scene after the scheming Eve steals Margo's role through trickery & then gets this magnificent review. Margo of course is effing & blinding all over the place. And crying. Her director rushes into her house, puts his arms around her & says, "I ran all the way". That's what I want. — Martha Grimes

I just stand there like a doofus wondering just what in the effing blazes is going on. — Patrick Ness

The stars are on the inside. They are effing beautiful. — Cath Crowley

Cuz that's it -
That's the nasty, nasty secret of war -
When yer winning -
When yer winning, it's effing thrilling - — Patrick Ness

It's not funny at all that we do all that advertising for children. Why is advertising for children allowed? What possible reason can there be for having those effing adverts on TV for all this crap that's made by poor people in poor countries that we sell our children who have too much? — Emma Thompson

Jack with no expression was hot.
Jack with a smile was mega hot.
Jake laughing out loud at something you've said- effing priceless. — J.A. Hornbuckle

I have a license," says a voice behind us. I turn to find 17C scrolling through pictures on his camera, standing in the front yard like a deep-rooted tree, like he's been there for years. Somehow, that black eye only makes him more desirable. "And you are . . . ?" asks Moses. A) Perfect B) The god of Devastating Attractiveness C) A flawless specimen, created in a lab by mad scientists in an effort to toy with the heart of Mary Iris Malone D) All of the above I circle D. Final effing answer. — David Arnold

Remember that, Iz. Be a kid of honesty. Wave it like a banner for all to see. Also, while I'm thinking about it - be a kid who loves surprises. Squeal with delight over puppies and cupcakes and birthday parties. Be curious, but content. Be loyal, but independent. Be kind. To everyone. Treat every day like you're making waffles. Don't settle for the first guy (or girl) unless he's the right guy (or girl). Live your effing life. Do so with gusto, because my God, there's nothing sorrier than a gusto-less existence. Know yourself. Love yourself. Be a good friend. Be a kid of hope and substance. Be a kid of appetite, Iz. You know what I mean, don't you? (Of course you do. You're a Malone.) Okay, that's all for now. Catch you on the flip side.
Blimey, get ready.
Signing off,
Mary Iris Malone,
Your Big Sister — David Arnold

I've told you, there's no point keeping those. They're not tax-deductible,' my dad thundered.
'I think you'll find they are,' raged my mum like some sort of feral animal (a badger with TB perhaps).
'They're not. You only get VAT back on lunches outside of a 50-mile radius from your place of residence. You effing bitch,' he seemed to add, with his eyes, I imagined. — Alan Partridge

Well, he's scoring in that video." "That guy wasn't guarding him. Obama is POTUS. He is mother-effing POTUS. And even if he wasn't POTUS, Obama still had that ball hanging out so far that anybody could have blocked it. You could have blocked it, Ed. That shit was as weak as the public option in health care. If Obama pulled that on me, I'd block it like some racist-ass redneck senator from Alabama. — Sherman Alexie

So ... " Heather nodded slowly. "We're still here."
"Yep. I think your team of SWAT guys got lost. Probably looking for their shirts."
She made a face at him. "You're effing hilarious."
"I try. — Chelsea Fine

When he looks at me, I feel it everywhere. It makes my palms sweaty, my body tingle and shiver. It's like I'm on effing vibrate. I can't deny it. I can't. I also can't do anything about it. -Evangeline — Andrea Hopkins

Now, as Rilke would say, let's eat us
some effing panther and swan, shall we? — Jason Bredle

Oh Em Mother Effing Gee!" I yell. "How does he know we call him God-like creature? — Anonymous

Dazed, Nick nodded, then looked to Caleb. "I'm such an effing idiot."
"We knew that," he said drily. "We definitely didn't have to throw you into a coma for that little-known nugget. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

When Victoria told me how intensely she hated me, I kept the Beretta aimed at her face, but heard myself say, "I don't hate you."
She called me an effing liar and said, "Hate makes the world go around. Envy, lust and hate."
"I stopped hating anyone the day when I realized hating can't restore to me anything that's lost. — Dean Koontz

I squeezed her hand. "He's not coming back, Carlee"
When I said her name, her whole body stiffened, her eyes opening wide and clearing, as though a veil over them had lifted. "Carlee," she whispered.
I nodded and waited for her to freak out, to start screaming or crying, bracing myself and getting ready to hug her or carry her back to the village, whatever it took. For a few impossibly long moments she didn't say anything, didn't move, and I wondered if the shock had broken her brain. Then her brown eyes locked on mine again, narrowing into slits.
"I'm gonna kill that effing creep."
I laughed, relief flooding through me, and threw my arms around her neck.
"No, seriously. I'm going to kill him! I can't believe I bought his stupid lines! I don't care how pretty he was, I mean, have you seen what I'm wearing?"
Laughing, I nodded into her shoulder. "So not the style."
"I know, right? I look like an extra in some fantasy movie. Some stupid fantasy movie. — Kiersten White

no one can catch the mother-effing fox — John Green

Motivation is about feeling - determined, enthusiastic, frenzied, even angry - and is therefore fickle and unreliable. You can't count on it being there. Consistency, however, is about doing. Consistency isn't something that you need to wind up like a coiled spring every morning. You don't need to plug it in and recharge it every few hours. It is that steady yet relentless journey to an end. It doesn't require profound thought. You quite literally just effing do it. — Michelle Bridges

The way to overcome the angry man is with gentleness, the evil man goodness, the miser with generosity, and the liar with truth. (Indian proverb)
It sounds good, doesn't it? If only people and life were that effing easy. Trust me, it takes more than a friendly biscuit to tame a hungry lion. And it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's war. (Savitar) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I love being in an arena that has like 10,000 people and huge crowds. I want to do a show at like the Viper room so badly. Like go up on stage and thrash myself around, go jump into the crowd. You can effing swear, get drunk on stage and do whatever you want basically. — Avril Lavigne

Yes,yes I did. I told them to come in and make themselves at home and while they were at it, to immobilize me and stab me straight through the heart 'cause I'm just that effing bored. (Sam) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

HOLY MOTHER EFFING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS HE HOT — Fanny Merkin

Holy effing crap, that sucks!"
I turned to her. "Effing?"
Sam shrugged. "What?"
"We're censoring now?"
"Kyle says I have a mouth like a trucker. — Gemma Halliday

Give me the effing phone, Strider grumbled, opening his palm and waving his fingers.
Effing? William laughed with genuine amusement. You ever realize how polite you get when you're hammered? And you know what they say. A man's true charactor is revealed when he's toasted. So you gotta face facts, man. You're a closet gentlmen. Loser!
The heck I am!
Even Paris laughed at that. — Gena Showalter

Learn how to cook a (effing) omelet. I mean, what nicer thing can you do for somebody than make them breakfast? You look good doing it, and it's a nice thing to do for somebody you just had sex with. — Anthony Bourdain

And she says, "Then let's just take the effing road and get ourselves to Haven."
I smile, a little. "You said effing," I say. "You actually said the word effing. — Patrick Ness

Forget the fact that he was the first person I had slept with in almost a year or that even though I was drunk I remembered it clearly (and it was effing fantastic!) Forget the fact that I had a hickey for the first time since high school on my neck under the scarf I was wearing, tied around my dumb neck. — L.D. Davis

What?" Ryder huffed. "Come on that was funny! That was comic gold right there."
She shrugged, enjoying teasing him. "It was OK. Kind of elementary."
"Elementary? It's an effing joke."
"Whatever."
His groan could probably be heard for five miles. "Aw this is going to be a looong drive home. — Samantha Young

Suit Guy takes the seat beside me and turns to me with a smile on his face. I take in that face for the first time and -

Holy effing shit!

Hotness incarnate is sitting next to me.

Actual pure male hotness. All men should have been made to look like this. Seriously.

He looks like Clark Kent without the glasses, which would mean he looks like Superman - the Henry Cavill version.

Superman in a suit.

Lord, help me. — Samantha Towle

There was one obvious solution to this problem, but it involved me uttering four inconceivable words to Seth Allen. This was not going to be pretty.
"Take off your pants," I mumbled in Seth's direction.
"What?" Seth's voice was shrill as it cracked.
"Your pants. Take them off." I spoke louder now, impatient.
"But...I'll be naked and cold, and I still haven't had the chance to bulk up my legs at the gym so I'm just not sure..."
I cut Seth off with with my best "Are you effing kidding me?" Face and jerked my head towards Maddie in the backseat.
"Oh, right, I get it. Maddie needs pants and I have them, so I'll just go ahead and, um, well, strip down. Could you..." Seth's cheeks went up in twin flames. — Lisa Roecker

Fate forced me to become a two-man woman. But there was no effing way I could be a four-man woman.
Even metaphysics couldn't keep that from being whorey. — Sierra Dean

Holy effing moly. — Ellen Hopkins

WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON?" I roar, but I don't say "eff", now do I? Cuz it seems the situashun calls for something a little stronger. "WHAT EFFING PLAN? — Patrick Ness

Male leads in love stories need to be devoted, need to chase trains, cross continents, give up fortunes and thrones, defy convention, face prosecution, take apart rooms and break the backs of angels, sketch the beloved all over the cement walls of their studios, build sculptures as homages. They don't flirt shamelessly with the likes of me when they have Transylvanian girlfriends. What an effing jerk. — Jandy Nelson

The Top Ten Reasons Why Virgin Val Sucks
10. She called me a one-hit-wonder.
9. She doesn't appreciate the endearing nickname I gave her.
8. She makes me write stupid blogs about her at four in the morning.
7. She's encouraging people not to have sex.
6. She blew me off when I asked her out.
5. She has a crush on a douche bag.
4. She won't answer any of my calls.
3. She's such a tease with her look-but-don't-touch policy.
2. I played a whole effing concert just for her and she didn't come even though she told me she would. (You're such a liar!)
And the #1 reason why Virgin Val sucks?
I still want her anyway. — Kelly Oram

And I know [other] faces aren't this colorful, this vivid, this lived-in, this superbly off-site, this brimming with dark unpredictable music. NOT THAT I EFFING NOTICE ... For the record, breathing is overrated. — Jandy Nelson

Because just the day before, I had apparently told The Artist of our Generation to color inside the effing lines. — Amber L. Johnson

Private Zombie, you are a disgrace to the species. I've hacked up lugies tougher than you. You make me think the enemy was right about the human race. You should be ground up for slop and passed out a hog's shithole! Well, what are you waiting for, you stinking bag of regurgitated puke, an effing invitation? — Rick Yancey

The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? 'I Want to Hold Your Hand.' The first single. It's effing brilliant, right? ... That's what everybody wants ... They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years.
They just want to hold your hand. — Rachel Cohn

I don't need new boots I got bluchers back down home.
Eff the effing bluchers I'll buy you new adjectival effing elastic sided boots. — Peter Carey

Ever wonder why the gods created man, Grom? I personally think that we're the original reality show. They were so effing bored that they created us just so that they could feel better about themselves — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Cash winks at me from in front of the stove and pure lust twitches in my lower belly. There's no denying this man is hot. Effing hot. Probably hotter than the stove he's cooking on. — M. Leighton