Famous Quotes & Sayings

Eat Funny Quotes & Sayings

Enjoy reading and share 100 famous quotes about Eat Funny with everyone.

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Pinterest Share on Linkedin

Top Eat Funny Quotes

Eat Funny Quotes By Colin Nissan

How rude of me, we haven't even introduced ourselves. We're the Andersons. I'm Evan, the lovely size-zero lass in the floppy sun hat is my wife Amy, and these are our best friends/children, Evan and Amy Jr. As you can see, we're very fit and active. You know what our family's average percentage of body fat is? Three. Yes, really. We got it tested last year when we all became organ donors.
You may have noticed that I'm carrying Amy on my back. We do that a lot. At least once a day, and not just when we're in fields like this; we do it on beaches and in urban environments as well. That's what happens when your love is deep and playful like ours. You should also know that we also dab frosting on each other's noses every single time we eat cupcakes, which is both mischievous and very us. Do you guys even eat cupcakes? — Colin Nissan

Eat Funny Quotes By Paris Hilton

I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat. — Paris Hilton

Eat Funny Quotes By Jimmy Carr

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat. — Jimmy Carr

Eat Funny Quotes By Peter Sagal

The new French theme park based on Napoleon is named Napoleon's Bivouac, and will honor Napoleon with rides, battle reenactments, and the brutal March on Moscow ride. That's a walk-in freezer you stand in for 18 months while you try to eat a dead horse. — Peter Sagal

Eat Funny Quotes By Bill Bailey

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they. — Bill Bailey

Eat Funny Quotes By E.L. Konigsburg

Jamie spied a Hershey's almond bar still in its wrapper lying in the corner of the landing. He picked it up and tore open one corner.

"Was it bitten into?" asked Claudia.
"No," Jamie smiled. "Want half?"
"You better not touch it," Claudia warned. "It's probably poisoned or filled with marijuana, so you'll eat it and become either dead or a dope addict".

Jamie was irritated. "Couldn't it just happen that someone dropped it?"

"I doubt that. Who would drop a whole candy bar and not know it? That's like leaving a statue in a taxi". — E.L. Konigsburg

Eat Funny Quotes By M.F. Moonzajer

I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy. — M.F. Moonzajer

Eat Funny Quotes By C.J. Redwine

That's not what he meant," Rachel says again, pink flushing her cheeks.
"Actually, I meant-" I start to say, but Willow cuts me off.
"What? It's true. He looks at you like he'd like to dip you in sugar and eat you up. — C.J. Redwine

Eat Funny Quotes By Carla H. Krueger

I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food". — Carla H. Krueger

Eat Funny Quotes By Sharon Creech

Sea fleas," Frank said. "They're everywhere, very wee, practically invisible. They love our bait. If you fell overboard and weren't picked up until the next day, those sea fleas would eat you right up, and your skeleton would sink to the bottom!" Cody lifted me up and hung me over the side. "Want to try it?" he said. "Not funny, Cody," I said. I didn't much like the idea of sea fleas nibbling me down to my bones. — Sharon Creech

Eat Funny Quotes By Socrates

The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live. — Socrates

Eat Funny Quotes By J.R.R. Tolkien

Fifteen birds in five firtrees,
their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze!
But, funny little birds, they had no wings!
O what shall we do with the funny little things?
Roast 'em alive, or stew them in a pot;
fry them, boil them and eat them hot? — J.R.R. Tolkien

Eat Funny Quotes By Robin Benway

It was time for the mirror pep talk.
"Okay, Maggie," I said to myself after my shower, wiping the steam off the medicine cabinet.
"You could eat these kids for breakfast. You won't, though, because that would be cannibalistic and
wrong. — Robin Benway

Eat Funny Quotes By Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Clubs rattled behind them. Skeet Cooper rubbed the corner of his mouth with his thumb and rose from the bench. "Looks like Kenny's caddy's here."
Dallie lifted an eyebrow as his son stepped up on the tee carrying Kenny's bag.
Ted smiled. "Sorry I'm late. Mom made me eat breakfast. Then she started fussing with my hair, don't ask me why."
Dallie took the driver Skeet handed him. "Funny you didn't mention that you were going to caddy for Kenny today."
"Must have forgot." Ted smiled and shifted the bag. "I told Skeet."
Dallie shot Skeet an annoyed look that didn't bother Skeet one bit. Kenny gestured toward the tee. "Be my guest. I believe in showing respect for the elderly and the infirm. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Eat Funny Quotes By Lord Chesterfield

Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me. — Lord Chesterfield

Eat Funny Quotes By C.S. Lewis

It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?"
"Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund. — C.S. Lewis

Eat Funny Quotes By Janet Evanovich

Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked. — Janet Evanovich

Eat Funny Quotes By Thomas Keller

No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine. — Thomas Keller

Eat Funny Quotes By Stacie Orrico

I do not like onions. It's so funny because I am probably one of the least picky eaters ever. Pretty much any type of new food, I'll try it, I'll eat it. But onions, and pork. Pork and onions. — Stacie Orrico

Eat Funny Quotes By Morgan Rhodes

Later, they also found a camp of outlaws who, when offered the chance to join the rebel ranks, unsheathed their daggers and threatened to cut the three into tiny, bloody pieces and eat them for dinner.
They too that as a firm no. — Morgan Rhodes

Eat Funny Quotes By Jim Gaffigan

Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings ... and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much." — Jim Gaffigan

Eat Funny Quotes By Clarice Lispector

In the chapter on the force of gravity, in elementary school, she'd invented a man with a funny disease. The force of gravity didn't work on him...So he'd fall off the earth, and keep falling evermore, because she didn't know how to give him a destiny. Where was he falling? Later she figured it out: he kept falling, falling and got used to it, eventually learning how to eat falling, sleep falling, live falling, until he died. And would he keep falling? — Clarice Lispector

Eat Funny Quotes By Karl Pilkington

We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that. — Karl Pilkington

Eat Funny Quotes By J.R. Ward

And it was funny. The silence of him had a bizarre effect on her. Normally, she was the quiet one in situations, preferring to keep her own council and not share her thoughts on anything. But with John's mute presence, she felt curiously compelled to talk.
"I'm stuffed," she said, lying back against the pillows. As he cocked a brow and lifted the last Danish, she shook her head.
"God ... no. I couldn't manage another thing."
And it was only then that he began to eat.
"You waited for me ?" she said, frowning. When he ducked her gaze and shrugged, she cursed softly.
" You didn't have to."
Another shrug. As she watched him, she murmured, "You have beautiful table manners."
His blush was the color of Valentine's Day and she had to tell her heart to calm the fuck down as it started to beat fast. — J.R. Ward

Eat Funny Quotes By Stanley Victor Paskavich

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny — Stanley Victor Paskavich

Eat Funny Quotes By Nenia Campbell

So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient. — Nenia Campbell

Eat Funny Quotes By Christina Henry

If she moved her head all the way up against the wall and tilted it to the left she could just see the edge of the moon through the bars. Just a silver sliver, almost close enough to eat. A sliver of cheese, a sliver of cake, a cup of tea to be polite. Someone had given her a cup of tea once, someone with blue-green eyes and long ears. Funny how she couldn't remember his face, though. All that part was hazy, her memory of him wrapped in smoke but for the eyes and ears. And the ears were long and furry. — Christina Henry

Eat Funny Quotes By Phyllis Diller

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. — Phyllis Diller

Eat Funny Quotes By Steven Wright

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out. — Steven Wright

Eat Funny Quotes By David Brenner

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. — David Brenner

Eat Funny Quotes By Piper Kerman

I am fairly certain that I was the first Seven Sisters grad to eat duck liver chased with a Diet Coke in the lobby of a federal penitentiary. Then again, you never know. — Piper Kerman

Eat Funny Quotes By Sudha Kuruganti

Isn't it funny how trusting husbands are? How easily they eat the food put in front of them by their wives, without ever wondering if there might be something wrong with it.

You could mix anything in it, and they would never know. — Sudha Kuruganti

Eat Funny Quotes By Deeanne Gist

She hated Mr. Meanie. But she'd gotten to know him and they'd reached an understanding of sorts. Now she was to have him for supper.
"Don't tell me you're feeling guilty?"
Breaking off a piece of the wing, she brought it to her lips and took a bite. It did taste good. Very good.
"I wonder if all grouchy males are this palatable."
Drew choked.
She looked up, tilting her head.
"Are you all right?"
He turned a dull red.
"Eat your supper, Connie. — Deeanne Gist

Eat Funny Quotes By Charlie Cochet

Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.
-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet

Eat Funny Quotes By Chris Rose

Dear America,
I suppose we should introduce ourselves: We're South Louisiana ... You probably already know that we talk funny and listen to strange music and eat things you'd probably hire an exterminator to get out of your yard.
We dance even if there's no radio. We drink at funerals. We talk too much and laugh too loud and live too large and, frankly,we're suspicious of others who don't. — Chris Rose

Eat Funny Quotes By Mario Puzo

You know, it's a funny thing. You can smoke yourself to death, drink yourself to death, work yourself to death, and even eat yourself to death. But that's all acceptable. The only thing you can't do medically is screw yourself to death, and yet that's where they put all the obstacles. — Mario Puzo

Eat Funny Quotes By Kristen Ashley

Babe, best wool men ever pulled was lettin' women think we think with our dicks. We pay a fuckuva lot of attention. We know your shit maybe more than you do because we live it right along with you and some of you try to make us eat it. It's just that some of us choose not to get sucked in the drama and instead focus on getting laid regularly."
I felt my eyes get big right before I wrapped my arms around him and started giggling, but I managed to push through my giggles, "Honey, not sure you should share the brotherhood's secrets."
"You talk, no woman will listen. They prefer to think a man's brain is in his dick. Gives 'em something to bitch about. — Kristen Ashley

Eat Funny Quotes By Chetan Bhagat

We sat on the floor for dinner. Ananya's father passed me a banana leaf. I wondered if i had to eat it or wipe my hands with it. — Chetan Bhagat

Eat Funny Quotes By John Locke

Methinks Sir Robert should have carried his Monarchical Power one step higher and satisfied the World, that Princes might eat their Subjects too. — John Locke

Eat Funny Quotes By Chuck Klosterman

Ohio is a scale model of the entire country, jammed into 43,000 square miles. Cleveland views itself as the intellectual East (its citizens believe they have a rivalry with Boston and unironically classify the banks of Lake Erie as the North Coast). Cincinnati is the actual South (they fly Confederate flags and eat weird food). Dayton is the Midwest. Toledo is Pittsburgh, before Pittsburgh was nice. Columbus is a low-altitude Denver, minus the New World Order airport. Ohio experiences all possible US weather, sometimes simultaneously. — Chuck Klosterman

Eat Funny Quotes By Dylan Moran

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. — Dylan Moran

Eat Funny Quotes By Chic Murray

I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you." — Chic Murray

Eat Funny Quotes By Marc Maron

Let's be honest, this is a consumer based economy in America. That's all we manufacture here is need and appetite. We are the world's mouth. They make things in other countries, and they're like, 'Send it to America; they'll eat it.' — Marc Maron

Eat Funny Quotes By Rainbow Rowell

All you do is eat. You eat, then you start thinking about the next thing you're going to eat."
"Eating is the only thing that breaks the monotony," Scotty said.
Seth's eyebrows shot up. "This isn't monotony. This is the fucking dream."
"It will be," Scotty said. "When I have some yogurt. — Rainbow Rowell

Eat Funny Quotes By Tristi Pinkston

What?"
"Nothing." He laughed."You were really hungry."
"I don't need to defend my eating to anyone.And just so you know,when I'm done with this,I plan to eat three whole cookies."
"Whoa." He held up his hands."Now you're pulling out the big guns."
"I don't mess around. — Tristi Pinkston

Eat Funny Quotes By Brandon Mull

It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?"
You had best be careful, Seth," Grandma warned. "The love of reading can be contagious."
I just lost my appetite," he declared ... — Brandon Mull

Eat Funny Quotes By David Levithan

Boomer took bites of all six varieties, contemplating each one and "guring out the order in which he would then eat them. "I like the
brown one and the lighter brown one and the almost-brown one. I'm not so sure about the minty one. But really, I think the lebkuchen spice
one is the best."
"The what?"
"The lebkuchen spice one." He held it up for me. "This one."
"You're making that up. What's a lebkuchen spice? It sounds like a cross between a Keebler elf and a stripper. Hello, my name ees
Lebkuchen Spice, and I vant to show you my cooooookies ... "
"Don't be rude!" Boomer protested. As if the cookie might be offended. — David Levithan

Eat Funny Quotes By E.L. James

It's because I'm pregnant, Christian."
He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. "If I knew getting you knocked up was going to make you eat, I might have done it earlier. — E.L. James

Eat Funny Quotes By April Gornik

Of course 'we humans' have a funny relationship with the beings with whom we share our planet. We eat them, we care for them, we admire them, we use them. — April Gornik

Eat Funny Quotes By Jennifer A. Nielsen

Finally I grinned and said, "I won't eat meat if it's been overcooked." She (Amarinda) glanced up at me, confused, and I added, "I thought you should know that, since we're going to be friends now."
Amarinda's smile widened. "I think it's unfair that women aren't allowed to wear trousers. They seem far more comfortable than dresses."
I chuckled. "They're not. Every year I think fashion invents one more piece I have to add to my wardrobe."
"And one more layer to my skirts." She thought for a moment, then said, "I think it's funny when you're rude to the cook. I shouldn't admit that, but his face turns all sorts of colors when you are and there's nothing he can do about it."
"He can overcook my meat. — Jennifer A. Nielsen

Eat Funny Quotes By Jim Gaffigan

I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, "I'm glad I ate that." I'm always like, "I'm gonna die! I paid for that? Did I eat it or rub it on my face? My back hurts." — Jim Gaffigan

Eat Funny Quotes By Jim Thompson

We're living in a funny world kid, a peculiar civilization. The police are playing crooks in it, and the crooks are doing police duty. The politicians are preachers, and the preachers are politicians. The tax collectors collect for themselves. The Bad People want us to have more dough, and the good people are fighting to keep it from us. It's not good for us, know what I mean? If we had all we wanted to eat, we'd eat too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry. That's the way I understand it. That's about the size of some of the arguments I've heard. — Jim Thompson

Eat Funny Quotes By Oprah Winfrey

I'm stopped. I'll never eat another burger. — Oprah Winfrey

Eat Funny Quotes By Steven Wright

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. — Steven Wright

Eat Funny Quotes By Mason James Cole

It was harder to ignore the smell, meat just starting to turn. And gas. The dead were quiet, very quiet in a bad way, but the sounds of escaping gas were all over. [He] was surrounded by belching and farting corpses who wanted to eat him. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking horrible. — Mason James Cole

Eat Funny Quotes By Lauren Myracle

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle! — Lauren Myracle

Eat Funny Quotes By Jim Gaffigan

After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month! — Jim Gaffigan

Eat Funny Quotes By Michele Jaffe

Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him.
"What?"
How did it end? oh, right. "Because your butt is fine."
He gazed at her in that way he had like he was measuring her for straitjacket. "I think-" he started, then stopped and seemed to be having trouble talking. Cleared his throat three times before saying, "I think the line is 'because your butt is out of this world."
"Oh. That makes a lot more sense. I can see that. See, I read this book about how to get guys to like you and they said it was a line that never failed but i got interrupted in the middle and the line before it was about china-not the country, the kind you eat off of-and that is where the fine part was but i must have gotten them confused. He just kept staring at her. — Michele Jaffe

Eat Funny Quotes By Larry Correia

You're not from around here. You talk funny." "Alabama. Where bears don't eat people, it don't usually snow, and it's customary for the new guy getting told the tale to buy the drinks for the men doing the telling. — Larry Correia

Eat Funny Quotes By Lake Bell

I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable. — Lake Bell

Eat Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado. — Mitch Hedberg

Eat Funny Quotes By Dylan Moran

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!" — Dylan Moran

Eat Funny Quotes By Phillip C. McGraw

You're FAT - and don't try to sugarcoat it, because you'll just eat that, too. — Phillip C. McGraw

Eat Funny Quotes By Marissa Meyer

Besides, if you ever did eat some bad food, I could still find a use for you. I've always wanted a cat-drawn carriage."
Cheshire opened one eye, his pupil slitted and unamused.
"I would dangle balls of yarn and fish bones out in front to keep you moving."
He stopped purring long enough to say, "You are not as cute as you think you are, Lady Pinkerton. — Marissa Meyer

Eat Funny Quotes By Ryan Bracha

I love to eat lettuce for breakfast, they call me bunny. — Ryan Bracha

Eat Funny Quotes By Derrick Rose

I still have goals. Seeing those doubters out there, it's gonna be funny seeing them eat their words. — Derrick Rose

Eat Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes. — Rodney Dangerfield

Eat Funny Quotes By Kathy Reichs

Move along," Hines said. "Last room down."
I spotted a fish tank halfway down the aisle. Dug into my pocket.
"Hi," I whispered. "Distraction in five. Four. Three ... "
I broke off as we neared the tank.
Hi spun. "Yo, warden. When do we eat around here? I'm hypoglycemic, plus I've got a hernia. And rabies simplex D. Basically, I need a ton of pills or my arms will fall off."
"Boy, you're on my last nerve."
As Hines glared at Hiram, I palmed the flash drive and dumped it into the fish tank. The yellow-and-black rectangle tumbled to the bottom.
So long, friend. Let's hope Shelton's email went through.
"It's a cultural thing," Hi was saying. "I think you're being very insensitive."
Hines snorted. "Do you want me to cuff you?"
"Kinda."
"Hi." I nodded. — Kathy Reichs

Eat Funny Quotes By G.M. Jackson

According to Mark 11:12-13, God's messengers were not the only ones who were incompetent: 'He [Jesus] was hungry. And on seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to see if he could find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.'
Imagine Jesus, the divine, holy, wisest of the wise not knowing that figs were out of season. Now allegedly Jesus could have performed a miracle and made figs magically appear, but he preferred sour grapes instead: Then he said to the tree, 'May no one ever eat fruit from you again.' (Mark 11:14) — G.M. Jackson

Eat Funny Quotes By Marty Pollio

I take my pet lion to church ever Sunday. He has to eat. — Marty Pollio

Eat Funny Quotes By Amy Lane

If I was gay, I'd ... I'd be mesmerized by you. I'd listen to every word that fell out of your mouth like it was diamonds made of sound waves. I'd memorize the pattern of freckles on your back and spend months taking cooking classes just to find something you'd eat. You are kind, and you are funny, and you are brave, and any man who has you needs to see all that or he just isn't worth the laces in your combat boots, you hear me — Amy Lane

Eat Funny Quotes By William Shakespeare

If you can mock a leek, you can eat a leek! — William Shakespeare

Eat Funny Quotes By Judy Blundell

But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from dates and wash the dishes, I would also be myself. I would love my mother, but I'd never want to be her again. I would never be what someone else wanted me to be. I would never laugh at a joke I didn't think was funny. I would never tell another lie. I would be the truth-teller, starting today. That would be tough.
But I was tougher. — Judy Blundell

Eat Funny Quotes By Laurell K. Hamilton

One thing I've learned about vampires
they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Eat Funny Quotes By Terry Pratchett

You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day."
For some reason the books of etiquette that Daphne's grandmother had forced on her didn't quite deal with this. Of course, silly people would say to babies, "You're so sweet I could gobble you all up!" but that sort of nonsense seemed less funny when it was said by a man in war paint who owned more than one skull. Daphne, cursed with good manners, settled for "It's very kind of you to say so. — Terry Pratchett

Eat Funny Quotes By Niall Horan

Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy. — Niall Horan

Eat Funny Quotes By Regina Griffin

Ish #21 Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat! — Regina Griffin

Eat Funny Quotes By Taeko Watanabe

Sei: The Kudzu snacks were so good I had two and a half bowls but seeing you eat 16 and a half bowls was disgusting. I sriously considered killing you.
Okita: You're horrible! Besides then I'd bleed Kudzu snacks!
Sei: NOO! STOP!!! I CAN SEE IT!! I'LL HAVE NIGHTMARES!! — Taeko Watanabe

Eat Funny Quotes By Denis Leary

"Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!" — Denis Leary

Eat Funny Quotes By Mark Twain

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories - and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures. — Mark Twain

Eat Funny Quotes By Anthony Minghella

I'm interested in stories which insist on a dog fails-to-eat-dog kind of world. I hate misanthropy, want to believe that there's a possibility that we might all be redeemed, that hope deferred makes the soul sick, that our humanity is fragile, funny, common, crazy, full of the longing for love, the failure of love. — Anthony Minghella

Eat Funny Quotes By Mary Jane Hathaway

Thank you. There were three of us kids, all right together. I'm the oldest, she was the knee-baby, and my brother Henry came last. Funny, I miss her all the time, but I miss her most when I'm reading Austen. We'd been fans since we were in the seventh and eighth grade, two Creole girls gigglin' about marriage proposals gone bad. Our daddy teased us about reading each other passages during a Fourth of July crawfish boil, so he named the biggest one Mr. Darcy and threw him in the pot." She looked up, a smile fighting the tears in her eyes. "We refused to eat him. — Mary Jane Hathaway

Eat Funny Quotes By Kenny D. Eichenberg

What smells good may not always taste good, I leaned this the day I tried to eat a scented candle. — Kenny D. Eichenberg

Eat Funny Quotes By Sarah Rees Brennan

This place is starting to feel like a home away from home," Rusty said, settling on the sofa. "We come here, we discuss evil sorcerers, we eat packets of peanuts. It's a soothing and familiar routine. Or it would be if people would just bring me some peanuts. — Sarah Rees Brennan

Eat Funny Quotes By Kate Avery Ellison

He glanced up once, eyes bored. Please stop talking. I'm trying to eat. — Kate Avery Ellison

Eat Funny Quotes By Charles Dickens

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature. — Charles Dickens

Eat Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield

School is a place were you go to eat your lunch — Rodney Dangerfield

Eat Funny Quotes By Tanya Masse

I don't need a personal trainer ... I need someone to stalk me and threaten to kick my ass when I eat and drink stuff I'm not supposed to! — Tanya Masse

Eat Funny Quotes By Andrea Portes

I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry. — Andrea Portes

Eat Funny Quotes By Lemony Snicket

In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every so often there would be a test. The stories were very short, and there were a whole lot of them on every conceivable subject. "One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk," Mr. Remora would say, chewing on a banana. "When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end." Or: "One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end." Mr. Ramora would tell story after story, and eat banana after banana, and it would get more and more difficult for Violet to pay attention. — Lemony Snicket

Eat Funny Quotes By Maggie Stiefvater

Some words have multiple meanings. Scholastic, aware that I'm allergic to preservatives, kindly got someone to translate the phrase "I can only eat food without preservatives" into Italian. They warned me, however, as they taught me how to say it, that the Italian word for "preservatives" is the same as the word for "condom." So that I should be careful how I look when I say it. — Maggie Stiefvater

Eat Funny Quotes By Tom Althouse

So if you are what you eat and you are as young as you feel, then I am a pizza, right out of the oven. — Tom Althouse

Eat Funny Quotes By Stephen King

PRECOGNITION, TELEPATHY, BULLSHIT! EAT MY DONG, YOU EXTRASENSORY TURKEY! — Stephen King

Eat Funny Quotes By Rachel Caine

You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab.
"Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it! — Rachel Caine

Eat Funny Quotes By Greg Behrendt

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right. — Greg Behrendt

Eat Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes! — Mitch Hedberg

Eat Funny Quotes By Terry Pratchett

Cheese runners shouted at it, tried to grab it, and flailed at it with sticks, but the piratical cheese scythed onward, reaching the bottom just ahead of the terrible carnage of men and cheeses as they piled up. Then it rolled back to the top and sat there demurely while still gently vibrating.
At the bottom of the slope, fights were breaking out among the cheese jockeys who were still capable of punching somebody, and since everybody was watching that, Tiffany took the opportunity to snatch up Horace and shove him in her bag. After all, he was hers. Well, that was to say she had made him, although something odd must have gone into the mix since Horace was the only cheese that would eat mice and, if you didn't nail him down, other cheeses as well. — Terry Pratchett

Eat Funny Quotes By Ljupka Cvetanova

It's not over till the fat lady eats! — Ljupka Cvetanova

Eat Funny Quotes By Deb Baker

I'll eat rabbit pellets before you get me into something pink with ruffles. — Deb Baker

Eat Funny Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon

Oh no! Akri-Nicky! You okay? The Simi didn't know it was her favorite blue-eyed demon boy when she hit him so hard so as to protect his precious akra-mama. Oh no! You still living and breathing and not broken? 'Cause if you not, can the Simi eat your dead, meaty remains? Please, please, please? Maybe some of them bones, too, 'cause the marrow can be quite tasty in its own right. Simi. — Sherrilyn Kenyon