E Mc2 Funny Quotes & Sayings

I hit the goddamn jackpot with celebrity dreams this a.m. In the latest dream I was in bed with Tom and Katie. I've never thought much of Tom Cruise but as I watched him fuck Katie fueled with insane lust and cocaine I murmured, 'God, Tom, I admire you so much.' Katie went to the bathroom to clean up and Tom fucked me. I was too happy to remember that I always preferred Ice Man to Maverick. — Misti Rainwater-Lites

Clinton used to like to get out of the White House a lot. He would take night trips to McDonald's, and stuff like that. I think he wanted to get out of the house. — Paul Thomas Anderson

Too bad we don't have a flashlight."
"Thanks for stating the obvious, Mr. Thomas," Minho replied. — James Dashner

Diplomacy was what I wanted to do. From really quite an early age and I think I had a false impression that diplomacy equals travel. — John Gimlette

We are foolish, and without excuse foolish, in speaking of the superiority of one sex to the other, as if they could be compared in similar things! Each has what the other has not; each completes the other; they are in nothing alike and the happiness and perfection of both depend on each asking and receiving from the other what the other only can give. — John Ruskin

A pioneer family lived beyond the reach of shopping malls ... — Stephen Baxter

The perfect plan includes health, wealth, love and perfect selfexpression. This is the square of life, which brings perfect happiness. — Florence Scovel Shinn

It only takes one man to make a woman a fool. — Barbara Samuel

Have I made my peace with God? I didn't know we'd quarreled! — Daniel Boone

Well, I wrote that song for the village, but I wrote this one for the sky. — Rich Mullins

Whether you're president or speaker, if you're wrong, we need to stand up and point it out. That's what Martin Luther King had talked about: being judged by the content of our character and not the color of our skin. So some of us pounded away on some of the ridiculous policies of Pelosi - and lo and behold, over time, the public began to see. — Louie Gohmert

No, thanks. I already own a penguin. — Woody Allen

A man is a beautiful thing, a very beautiful thing. But some men forget this. And sometimes they try to keep other men captive. They buy and sell people, as if human beings are no more than cattle. But only a fool believes he can really own another man, and only a fool will try. Mr. Finley may own my body, but I have a heart and I have a mind, and he can never own these. Inside of me, I'm too powerful to be owned by anyone. Inside, I am like the sun. — Stacy Chbosky

Dad," I said hesitantly, "I wish you could be there for me even when I'm doing the wrong thing. I wish you could love me even when I'm screwing up. — Lisa Kleypas

The curious are always in some danger. If you are curious you might never come home. — Jeanette Winterson