Dumb Guy Quotes & Sayings

A decent guy doesn't just get born and grow up to be Mr. Perfect. They need to be created by a woman. They're like a dumb blank lump of clay and you have to mold them into what you want them to be, while erasing everything their mothers ever taught them and all the horrible internet porn they've watched growing up. — Christine Zolendz

I've produced things myself, I was like telling the producers how to do the show. They really didn't appreciate that, they just wanted a dumb rocker on the show and they got some guy telling them how to do their job. So being too smart can get in the way. — Dee Snider

Lee smiled. "If I were a guy ... nothing makes sense until I climax."
"Hallelujah!" Dean exclaimed.
Theresa feigned a more feminized tone. "Oh my God! That is good. That is so good! You guys are senseless until you climax."
"Amen to that," Brenda said.
Lee got the heart shot.
Dean turned to Brenda. "What you got?"
Brenda smiled, held his eyes. "If I were a guy ... too much testosterone will probably make me dumb."
The others laughed.
Brenda got her shot.
"Lyn," I called and turned to her with a smile.
Lyn smiled. "If I were a guy ... I'll put the toilet sit down and flip it back up again just to get the last drop out. — Dew Platt

Now see here, Guy," said the voice, "you're not dealing with any dumb two-bit trigger pumping morons with low hair-lines, little piggy eyes and no conversation, we're a couple of intelligent caring guys that you'd probably quite like if you met us socially! I don't go around gratuitously shooting people and then bragging about it afterward in seedy space-rangers bars, like some cops I could mention! I go around shooting people gratuitously and then I agonize about it afterward for hours to my girlfriend!"
"And I write novels!" chimed in the other cop. "Though I haven't had any of them published yet, so I better warn you, I'm in a meeeean mood! — Douglas Adams

Real sex is as much about reciprocity as it is exploration and if you need a reason to resent a man later on, just consider the guy who doesn't believe in cunnilingus ... — Roberto Hogue

I liked the idea that my character was not gonna be the typical dumb guy that I play, typically. I also loved the fact that it was dealing with kind of adult-extended adolescence, which I think is always interesting
a bunch of people that don't wanna grow up. — Jim Gaffigan

The saddest thing a girl can do is dumb herself down for a guy. — Emma Watson

I feel like the only person in the world who sees David Beckham modelling his swimming pants on the cover of Elle magazine and thinks - oh, how much better a handsome guy like you would look, David, without all those dumb ink stains stitched into your skin. — Tony Parsons

Why am I anti-social?? Hey GreenWind can you answer me, little black biatch that I don't go out makes me anti social? How about the people which can't cross the street, everyday talking about football and playing box. You are one of them, so you are without minded guy, you are dumb, stupid and black biatch. Let's see how now you will win??? Why you are so quite??? Oh,oh I know you don't have what to say! — Deyth Banger

Jason Oliver C. Smith, a big dumb guy who was tan, died March 30 of lung cancer and old age. He was 13 years old and lived in New Jersey, Pennsylvania. At the time of his death, his license was current and he had had all of his shots. He is survived by two adults, three children, a cat named Daisy who drove him nuts, and his lifelong companion, Pudgy, whose spaying he always regretted, as well as a host of fleas who have gone elsewhere, probably to Pudgy. He will be missed by all, except Daisy. He never bit anyone, which is more than you can say for most of us. — Anna Quindlen

It takes a smart guy to play dumb. — Mr. T

Teenage girls these days are more and more getting lured into thinking they should dumb themselves down, and that's going to attract the wrong kind of guy, and it's serious. It's serious business. — Danica McKellar

However, we couldn't focus on the films much during the series because we're dumb. Individually we're smart guys, but together we're one big dumb guy, and couldn't concentrate on two things at once. — Bruce McCulloch

Just giving Jenny a last minute pep talk before the race," Drew informs him.
"There's no need for that, Claire is going to kick everyone's ass." Carter says.
Drew laughs and shakes his head. "Oh that's hilarious, limp dick! I know for a fact that Jenny will be the victor."
"The Victor? Who's Victor? Is that like some vibrator champion or something? Is the race named after this Victor guy?"
Claire pats my shoulder and just smiles at me. I guess she already knows about Victor. I'm always the last to know everything. — Tara Sivec

Okay," I said. "Just a normal afternoon and two normal people."
She nodded. "And so ... hypothetically, if these to people likes each other, what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl, huh?"
"Oh ... " I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows-slow, dumb, and bright red. "Um ... — Rick Riordan

I've always been able to tell a lot about people by whether they ask me about my scar. Most people never ask, but if it comes up naturally somehow and I offer up the story, they are quite interested. Some people are just dumb: 'Did a cat scratch you?' God bless. Those sweet dumdums I never mind. Sometimes it is a fun sociology litmus test, like when my friend Ricky asked me, 'Did they ever catch the black guy that did that to you?' Hmmm. It was not a black guy, Ricky, and I never said it was. — Tina Fey

Ronda, you know why a guy in his twenties goes after sixteen-year-old girls? Because they're dumb enough to believe his bullshit. — Ronda Rousey

Those men saw their stranglehold over everyone starting to slip, and that meant they'd lose money and they'd lose power. And they couldn't have that. So they said that those women, those witches, were monsters. And since most people are just dumb fucks, they went along with it and soon they were burning chicks at the stake and drowning them and crushing them under rocks. That's how the men kept their power. It's how scared people always keep their power. That's why they killed Jesus. That's why they killed that little Indian guy, Gandhi. — Jonathan Maberry

God, could that dopey girl dance. Buddy Singer and his stinking band was playing 'Just One of Those Things' and even they couldn't ruin it entirely. It's a swell song. I didn't try any trick stuff while we danced
I hate a guy that does a lot of show-off tricky stuff on the dance floor
but I was moving her around plenty, and she stayed with me. The funny thing is, I thought she was enjoying it, too, till all of a sudden she came out with this very dumb remark. "I and my girl friends saw Peter Lorre last night," she said. "The movie actor. In person. He was buyin' a newspaper. He's cute."
"You're lucky," I told her. "You're really lucky. You know that?" She was really a moron. But what a dancer. — J.D. Salinger

Find your self-respect now. Don't dumb yourselves down. Think of yourself as capable and worthy of finding a guy who is going to respect you, too. It's so important, I mean, and the confidence you get from feeling smart and tackling something like mathematics, which is a challenge, right? Math is hard. — Danica McKellar

Hi shook his head. The guy's not a rocket scientist. Or a rock scientist. He's dumb, is what I'm saying. — Kathy Reichs

George W. Bush has a new campaign slogan: "A reformer with results." I don't know what it means [but] I think it's better than his old campaign slogan: "A dumb guy with connections. — David Letterman

I know there are people, if I go into a market or a city for the first time, there are people that are there that just want to see the famous person, or the guy from 'Dumb and Dumber' or whatever movie they liked. And that's fine, it gets them in the door, but then it's my job to give them something different. — Jeff Daniels

As long as people see him as dumb, tought guy, they don't notice the more clever things he does. — Neal Shusterman

The drummer is stereotypically the dumb guy. Maybe that's why I always respect drummers who do more than drum. — Taylor Hawkins

He was a nice guy, Jimmy, but rich or not he was dumb as a bag of retards, and smoking all that weed didn't help. — Chuck Wendig

Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to elect a dumb guy from Texas. But in time. — Conan O'Brien

He just wasn't the guy, you know? I want the guy. The everything guy. Not the dumb Prince Charming, nauseatingly-perfect everything guy. That's pathetic. I want the flaws-and-all everything guy. — Jessica Park

Ned?' he says, after a while. 'Oi, Ned?'
'What?'
'If someone says to you that the guy they're going out with doesn't have to prove how smart he is, what's your response?'
'That he's dumb.'
'And if he has a sixpack?'
'Dumb jock.'
'Not too intense.'
'Dumb jock with no personality.'
'And they see eye to eye?'
Ned pauses. 'With the spitfire from Dili?'
'Same,' Tom corrects.
Ned holds up a hand to where Tara would reach him in height.
'Dumb jock with no personality and short-man syndrome.'
'Thanks, Ned.'
'Anytime. — Melina Marchetta

So guys who are otherwise sensitive and thoughtful say and do ridiculously dumb things to impress other guys. It's an enormous performance, but guys know that if they fail, they'll be ridiculed as sissies mercilessly. — Michael Kimmel

If you're ever short on cash, you could set up a booth and charge the ladies to massage your bod."
"Oh yeah?" His voice was wary.
"Sure. Say, fifteen bucks for a two minute fondle. Strictly PG-13, above the waist, of course. I'll sell the tickets, if you give me a cut."
His hands stopped moving. She babbled on, dazed and thoughtless. "The gay guys would go for it, too. We'd rake in the dough."
"I'd let you do it for free," he said.
His voice was devoid of irony. Her eyes popped open in alarm.
She looked back over her shoulder. The hot glow in his eyes brought her feminine instincts to high alert. She pulled away.
She and her big dumb mouth. Sexy banter with a guy she barely knew, but no nerve to back it up. — Shannon McKenna

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. — Erica Jong

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked — Joan Rivers

I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy. — Richard P. Feynman

A girl with a belly button meets
A guy with a shirt of no button.

A guy takes on the belly button
A girl takes off the shirt. — Bhavik Sarkhedi

I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about 0.1 percent of the information that I need to have a truly informed opinion about half the stuff I talk about. I'm like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him. — Bill Burr

He's not a bad guy, John. It's human nature. He wanted it to be some mistake I made that he wouldn't have made, some flaw in me that he didn't share, so he could believe it wouldn't have happened to him. But it wasn't my fault. It was either blind, dumb, stupid luck from start to finish, in which case, we are all in the wrong business gentleman, or it was a God I cannot worship. — Mary Doria Russell

Might as well toss this, Chickie, it's ruined. What was it like, getting shot?"
"What kind of a dumb ass question is that from a guy who went to medical school? It hurt! — MaryJanice Davidson

I don't like any one race or look or type of guy. My tastes as far as looks go are very diverse. I like guys with scruffy beards and leather jackets, but I also like a clean-cut 'GQ'-type guy, so my tastes are very ranged among somebody who laughs at my dumb jokes, too. I have plenty of them. — Sasha Grey

I'm a guy. Unless the dirt attacks first, I leave it in peace. — Katie Graykowski

Seve Ballesteros was the best trouble-shot player who ever lived. It didn't matter how far in the woods you put that guy, he'd find a way to get out. But Seve inadvertently put a lot of big numbers on the scorecards of average players, because he inspired them to take dumb chances. — Lee Trevino

He'd been a shy, quiet, bookish kid, and that had been painful; now he was a big dumb guy, and nobody expected him to be able to do anything more than move a sofa into the next room on his own. — Neil Gaiman

The saddest thing for a girl to do is to dumb herself down for a guy. — Emma Watson

A Guy with a Tiger Tattoo meets
A Girl with a Dragon Tattoo

The Guy was scared of the dragon,
Tiger was shy of the Girl. — Bhavik Sarkhedi

I don't know if many people realize that Dolph Lundgren is a chemical engineer. He's not a dumb blond guy. This guy is smart and he's a martial artist. — Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa

I'm a dumb guy. My point of view is limited. — Hannibal Buress

Before I knew what was happening the game was starting. A guy from the other team looked me over. "But you're a girl," he yelled and looked over at his coach. "She's a girl!"
Bryce stood up in the stands. "No dip dumb shit! Of course she's a girl! She has boobies and a-" Caeden tackled Bryce before anything else could slip out of his mouth. — Micalea Smeltzer

When you're the guy behind the camera, you're aware of the reasons for the compromises or the changes that get made. As an actor, you go and do your thing, and someone else down the line then does all the math and goes, "We can't include that thing where he's pretending to be dumb and needling those people, because it takes a minute and a half, and it ruins the next scene. It doesn't make sense." If you're directing, you're the one doing that. — Casey Affleck

Okay, you shouldn't be able to sit up, Manny muttered. Was he? Oh, hey, check it ... And as for the doctor's second dose of surprise? Nice guy, but he was being a dumb-ass human when it came to the feeding thing. With this kind of hunger for that particular female? Tohr was frickin' Superman, capable of bench-pressing a Hummer while he juggled Smart Cars with his free hand. — J.R. Ward

I would laugh at all my provincial inmates, but I'm too busy lusting. I'm not usually interested in a guy with "take a number" on his forehead, but this guy doesn't have a forehead - it's buried in messy blond hair. And he's not one of the twenty guys I've known my entire pubescent life. he smiles like the Fourth of July. What's a dumb girl to do but get in line with everyone else not in his league? I guess journalism just became my most beloved class. — Kristen Chandler

Now, they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. — Eric Massa

The guys who play it [soccer] are kinda dumb. Why don't they just kick the crap out of the guy in front of the net? Then they could score all they want. — Tite Kubo

One life, one death. For all of us. Those are the numbers. I'm going to die and there's no avoiding it. I can go looking for it early by driving smashed out of my skull or swimming with sharks, sure, but staying with you isn't like that. It wouldn't be stupid and reckless and dumb, it wouldn't be me missing out on part of my life and skipping to the middle of the book. It'd just be me finding the guy I love early. It'd me hitting the jackpot. I'm not walking away from a piece of luck like that. I'm not walking away from you. — Jane Davitt

I'm not a geius guy, even and Albert Einstein isn't and Tesla, nobody is genius. From where you will know what's the IQ for Albert or Tesla in their time there wasn't such test and how such test can show how clever are you in case that the most questions are math, physics and mainly this how this two subjects will show that you are clever or dumb?? I strongly doubt about this if I know the answer sof the test and I fill it right so I must be the world clever man? No, I don't think so - That's bullshit!
That I have written 8 books and now I'm working on some other books this doesn't make me clever, the most stuff are just search from the internet and put, the other is thoughts from me. Like thinking on some questions and that's all! — Deyth Banger

Now, when you piss off a guy, you don't gotta say you're sorry even after you shoot 'em in the head with bird shot, but when you piss off a girl, saying 'I'm sorry' ain't even good enough. You gotta say it about a hundred times, and you gotta yammer on and on about how dumb you are and how you don't blame 'em if they never speak to you again. — Sandra Kring

He liked being big and strong. It gave him an identity. He'd been a shy, quiet, bookish kid, and that had been painful; now he was a big dumb guy, and nobody expected him to be able to do anything more than move a sofa into the next room on his own. Nobody until Laura, anyway. — Neil Gaiman

What's in the box?"
Sloane glanced to her hands. Box? Oh!
"Cupcakes. For you." A flush heated her skin, but she forced herself to ignore it. "Kind of a thank you for doing this today."
"You brought me cupcakes?"
It had been a dumb idea, bringing cupcakes to a gym. To a guy who looked like Sloane - he obviously didn't eat a lot of sweets.
"You can throw them away."
"Hey, Michaels, I'll take the cupcakes," one of the men shouted.
Sloane's eyes took on a tinge of smoldering sienna color. He snapped his head around toward the man. "Touch them and die, Carson. She brought them for me." He took the box from her and shoved them under his right arm. A grin broke out over his face. "Right, Kat? Just for me. — Jennifer Lyon

I'm not a horror movie guy, but I think the guy that did Saw, or maybe House or something, he was saying you love that age as a storyteller because a nineteen-year-old is still dumb enough to make really bad decisions, but he's allowed to be out on his own. — Craig Finn

...Oh god. I'm one of those girls."
"What girls?" he asked, perplexed.
"Those girls. The ones in all those books and TV shows. Some dumb high school girl falls in love with some supernatural guy, and he's all, 'Behold, I am five million years old!' and she's all, 'Oh my god, how can you ever love pathetic little me!' and he's like, 'Because of destiny!' or whatever. It's just so...ew. You know? — Lindsay Ribar