Quotes & Sayings About Duct Tape

The bastards who dommed you before needed rope, and duct tape. All I need is a firm grip in your hair, my lips this close to your throat, and the sting of my palm across your ass. That's the difference, Precious. — Sai Marie Johnson

Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape. — Jacqueline Patricks

Parents are supposed to give the child back to herself with love. If they've got duct tape over their eyes because of narcissism, it doesn't happen. — Jane Fonda

You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape. — J. Richard Singleton

Look at her, the poor woman," Milo said compassionately, as he sealed her mouth with duct tape. "We need to deprogram her. — Chuck Palahniuk

I knew Denver was sincere when he told me that he would not want to trade places with me for even one day. His convictions became clear to me when I laid my key ring on the table between us at one of our earlier meetings for coffee.
Denver smiled a bit and sidled up to a cautious question. 'I know it ain't none of my business, but does you own somethin' that each one of those keys fits?'
I glanced at the keys; there were about ten of them. 'I suppose,' I replied, not really ever having thought about it.
'Are you sure you own them, or does they own you?'
That wisdom stuck to my brain like duct tape. The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced we'd enjoy life a whole lot more if we owned a whole lot less. — Ron Hall

Some instruments seemed like they were held together with duct tape and prayers. Everything looked out of date. — Eoin Colfer

They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton. — Bill Maher

What's that sticky stuff called?
Basta: Duct tape.
Yes, duct tape. I love duct tape. — Cornelia Funke

Little girl, you could wrap my cock in duct tape, and I'll still make you see God. — Lilly Black

Humanity's gift to the universe. Duct Tape. — Jack Campbell

Glued them to me. It was like tearing off duct tape. With a harsh wrench, I went on my back. "Sorry," he said, though he didn't sound sorry. He finished taking off my pants and straightened. His arms slipped under my legs and around my back, collecting me in his arms. My cold, bare skin burned where it touched his warm body. The numbness of most of my skin kept — Stacey Marie Brown

She held out her right hand, palm up. "Duct tape." She did the same with her other hand. "M&M's. If I can't fix whatever's wrong with those two things, I'm going home and getting back into bed. — Sofie Kelly

No other way off the hill. He'd managed to get himself cornered. He stared at the stream of cars flowing west toward San Francisco and wished he were in one of them. Then he realized the highway must cut through the hill. There must be a tunnel ... right under his feet. His internal radar went nuts. He was in the right place, just too high up. He had to check out that tunnel. He needed a way down to the highway - fast. He slung off his backpack. He'd managed to grab a lot of supplies at the Napa Bargain Mart: a portable GPS, duct tape, lighter, superglue, water bottle, camping roll, a Comfy Panda Pillow Pet (as seen on TV), and a Swiss army knife - pretty much every tool a modern demigod could want. But he had nothing that would serve as a — Rick Riordan

Someone knocked on the door. "Come in!" Barabas called. The door swung open and Derek stuck his head in. "Hey, do you have any duct tape?" He saw me, stepped back, and closed the door without a word. Well. "Coward," Barabas said, loud enough for Derek to hear. — Ilona Andrews

I had no red tape. I didn't even have any clear tape or duct tape or electrical tape.
Nope. I lived a tape-free life and liked it. Unless, you know, I needed to tape something. — Darynda Jones

I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night. — Christopher Titus

Lone women shouldn't stop in the middle of nowhere for giant unkempt strangers with duct tape on their faces. — Lee Child

Weddings are friendship deal breakers if the friendship is weak. There are too many favors, too many tasks, too much required devotion and Aqua Net for imposters like me. I tried to make eye contact with Francine, to give her a knowing good-bye smile like a ghost of a loved one in a movie. It was no usue, I decided to cut my final pink wire. There would be no more yearly "happy birthdays" and certainly no more bonding with the girl in the duct tape dress. That ship had sailed. — Sloane Crosley

Then he threw me another essential tool of demigod heroes - duct tape. — Rick Riordan

Detective Inspector Carver took a picture from the breast pocket of his suit. He handed it to me. 'This is what you did, Michael. Take a good look. See if it jogs your memory.'
I gawped at the mutilated corpse of a naked young girl lying on a blood-soaked double bed. Her hands were bound to the brass headboard with duct tape. Blood covered her upper body, and her long blonde hair was streaked a murderous shade of red. One eye stared at the ceiling as if searching for salvation, the other, a bloody unrecognisable pulp, bore no relation to its sightless counterpart.
'Carla Marie Coombs. Twenty-one years of age. Do you recognise her, Michael? — Mark Tilbury

They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house. — Argus Hamilton

He took a long draw then asked, "What'd I do?"
"You knew about the guy threatening my dad?"
He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn't funny. "They told you?"
"Why, no, Swopes, they didn't. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher's knife. — Darynda Jones

He slung off his backpack. He'd managed to grab a lot of supplies at the Napa Bargain Mart: a portable GPS, duct tape, lighter, superglue, water bottle, camping roll, a Comfy Panda Pillow Pet (as seen on TV), and a Swiss army knife - pretty much every tool a modern demigod could want. — Rick Riordan

Duct tape. Perfect weapon; so many uses. — Taylor Stevens

New Rule: From now on, duct tape must be called what it really is
murder tape. A search of the suspected Craigslist Killer's home yielded a firearm, restraints, and duct tape, or, as we call that here in Hollywood, Phil Spector's earthquake kit. — Bill Maher

And-he was ashamed to admit
he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. — Sharon Ashwood

If you pull a rope and some duct tape out of those saddlebags, I'm going to freak.
Jeana E. Mann. Intoxicated (Kindle Locations 746-747). — Jeana E. Mann

I'm being accused of being a murderer! I'M being ACCUSED of being a molester! ... They say my idea of a fun day is a dark lonely field and the urunj of a car, and a large stick and a roll of duct tape! My MOM shops at Wal-Mart! She gets calls all the time now; she's worried about me! I'm not the most emotionally stable guy in the world; I'll admit that ... I do have some problems, but my God, I'm not a murderer! — Al Snow

Anal is pretty much the sexual duct tape of the world- it fixes everything.
I should put that on a t-shirt. — Tara Sivec

Most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords. — Jase Robertson

Oh yes, and compulsory ferret-legging down the pub on Tuesday evenings, for the tourist trade tha' knows." "Ferret-legging?" Rachel looked at him incredulously. "Yup. You tie your kilt up around your knees with duct tape - as you probably know, no Yorkshireman would be seen dead wearing anything under his sporran - and take a ferret by the scruff of his neck. A ferret, that's like, uh, a bit like a mink. Only less friendly. It's a young man's initiation rite; you stick the ferret where the sun doesn't shine and dance the furry dance to the tune of a balalaika. Last man standing and all that, kind of like the ancient Boer aardvark-kissing competition." Martin shuddered dramatically. "I hate ferrets. The bloody things bite like a cask-strength single malt without the nice after-effects. — Charles Stross

His voice was chipper. Cinnamon hated chipper. She wrapped Chipper up in duct tape, pounded nails into it and used it to beat the crap out of Perky. — Barbra Annino

...duct tape is magic and should be worshipped. — Andy Weir

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together. — Oprah Winfrey

She came at him sideways, away from his legs, reaching down to pull the duct tape away. He didn't even notice the pain, spitting out the rag someone had put in his mouth earlier. She turned, and handed him a bottle of water. "You're probably thirsty. The drug I gave you tends to make your mouth dry."
"No, I think that was caused by the sock someone stuffed in there," he said. "Your work? — Anne Stuart

Steaming, Sebastian flies up out of his seat and makes a dramatic exit out the front door.
"Is he always so crazy?" I asked.
"Yeah. But he's a hot fuck. You'll see."
"No thanks... I'll pass. That kid's severely psychotic."
"He's just a jealous mess."
"Why did you marry him?"
"We're not married. We're in an open relationship."
"Thank God. I was seriously worried."
"YEAH. Well I better go find him- before he slits his wrists."
"GOOD IDEA. Better take some duct tape-- just in case you're too late. — Giorge Leedy

Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape? — Craig Kilborn

If you had duct tape, you were prepared for anything. — Annie Barrows

Javascript is the duct tape of the Internet. — Charlie Campbell

There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose.
I also feel it is important to have sex soon after meeting someone in order to find out if you have sexual chemistry together. Otherwise, you could wait two to three months after you start dating someone only to discover that your new boyfriend is bad in bed, or even worse, is into anal beads and duct tape. — Chelsea Handler

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. G. Weilacher — Ian Molyneaux

I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass. — Dennis Miller

Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped. — Andy Weir

Once you duct-tape a Ziploc bag to a man's chest, there's no going back. — Orson Scott Card

Greatest stuff in the world. Superman's duct tape. — James L. Cambias

You always kiss on the first date?"
"Not usually until after the duct-tape. — Leslea Tash

Back there or maybe even taken an actual shit, and then tried to cover it up with a bunch of coconut air freshener that smelled like suntan lotion. The seats were greasy, and patched with duct tape, and the shocks were nearly gone. Whenever we struck a — Donna Tartt

Why would we ever want to go back when your world is so accommodating with your telephones and your guns and what's that sticky stuff called ... duct tape. — Cornelia Funke

Superglue after duct tape a girl's best friend. — Karen Marie Moning

Duct tape is man's answer to electrons and protons. It's how we keep matter together. — Penny Reid

People who leave their cars on the street with tape covering their broken windows are obviously too trusting. I mean, when your car did have glass for a window, someone broke into it. How is tape any more of a deterrent? What are the thieves going to say? Ooh, that like looks like duct tape, we can't beat that. Let's look for one with scotch or masking. — Aaron Karo

When's the last time you used duct tape on a duct? — Larry Wall

Mort drove one of those little hybrid cars that, when not running on gasoline, was fueled by idealism. It was made out of crepe paper and duct tape and boasted a computer system that looked like it could have run the NYSE and NORAD, with enough attention left over to play tic-tac-toe. Or possibly Global Thermonuclear War. — Jim Butcher

At that moment, it just seemed as if his face was perfect. Innocent and strong. And - why not? - exotic, too, bu exotic in the sense of being distinct from most of the other faces we saw every day. A face I would design if I could design a face for the son I was never going to have. It was an Asian face. Not unlike the one I used to see in the mirror so many decades ago, the one I was so ashamed of for its distinctive contours. The one I spent years trying to alter with clothespins and duct tape. — Alex Tizon

If only he would keep his mouth shut, he'd be perfect. A piece of duct tape would do the trick. I had some in my desk that I'd occasionally pull out and fondle, hoping someday I could put it to good use. — Christina Lauren

Duct tape is not a perfect solution to anything. But with a little creativity, in a pinch, it's an adequate solution to just about everything. — Jamie Hyneman

A smile and a laugh are the duct tape of life; they can fix anything. — Mike Wallace

He hands me his shopping list and I lead him through the store in search of the items. Duct tape? Plastic wrap? A hacksaw? Who is this guy, Dexter? — Andrew Shaffer

We are in a code orange. Homeland Security said earlier today that everyone should have a roll of duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect your house in event of terrorist attacks. Who came up with this idea? MacGyver? — Jay Leno

When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.
T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

I've always resented the force of attraction that traps me here on Planet Earth. It makes me feel like a bug stuck to a piece of duct tape. Ever since my teenage years, when I used to read a lot of science fiction and took it much too seriously, I've dreamed of somehow reaching escape velocity. I am, you might say, anti-gravity. — Charles Platt

duct tape, he wondered if he'd ever get then off. With — Kevin Tinto

This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred dollars, two bags of dried fruit, two packages of beef jerky, three bottles of water, a roll of thick shop towels you see mechanics use, a small metal pipe - just right for cracking a skull with - and a fake beard. Look, you never know. — David Wong

I always tell Noah to behave or I'll sell him on eBay. You've got to have some way to keep these little buggers in line or they'll just walk all over you. It's a nightmare. Honestly. All the livelong day. Daddy, I want this. Daddy, I want that. Daddy, daddy, daddy! Gimme gimme gimme! I'm like, honest to almighty Christ and sweet and sunny jumped-up Jesus, if you don't shut up, it's back to the basement and the duct tape and the handcuffs again and I'm not joking. Now get me a beer, you frikkin' munchkin! — Nick Wilgus

Philosophers get attention only when they appear to be doing something sinister
corrupting the youth, undermining the foundations of civilization, sneering at all we hold dear. The rest of the time everybody assumes that they are hard at work somewhere down in the sub-basement, keeping those foundations in good repair. Nobody much cares what brand of intellectual duct tape is being used. — Richard M. Rorty

Stop smiling!" she ordered. "I can see you, Carter. Oh ... and, uh, hullo, Walt."
The pot monster made squeaky grinding noises as it stood up straight. One clunky arm rose and tried to fix Sadie's nonexistent hair. Leave it to Sadie to be
self-conscious around boys, even when she's made out of pots and duct tape. — Rick Riordan

duct tape - real — Charlaine Harris

Believe it or not, kids, duct tape was not invented so you could make trashy little wallets and hideous handbags out of it. I — C.M. Stunich

Guns make you stupidbetter to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart. — Jeffrey Donovan

Want me to roll you?" Tom asked. "Not funny." But Prophet was rock hard. Tom stalking over to him and crowding him wasn't helping. "You still have that duct tape?" "Yeah. Why?" "Come on, bebe. Let's play gator." Prophet hated the way his body responded yes - eagerly - to that question. "Think you wanna. 'M'I wrong?" Tom's drawl was thick as hell, went right down Prophet's spine, as the man's hand snaked around Prophet's waist and pushed his own hard cock against Prophet's cargo pant-clad one. "Yes. — S.E. Jakes

She stuffed the goodies into her hidden running belt, jogged out of the park, and went shopping for duct tape, a razor blade, paper clips, and another disposable phone. — Janet Evanovich

But just now, he'd gotten on his knees and proposed marriage, like in a television commercial for a diamond ring. Except of course they had the roll of duct tape instead, which, when you came to think about it, was a far more practical item. Such a bad mistake it would be, to embark on marriage and adult life without a nice supply of duct tape. — Nancy Werlin

We might even purposely create time for boredom on a summer day, so they have to go to the garage and see what interesting fun they can have with a pulley, some rope, and a roll of duct tape. — Daniel J. Siegel

Billings pulled a roll from a compartment in his cargo pants leg. We gawked at him in disbelief. He shrugged. What? You never know when you're going to need duct tape. — Shelly Crane

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers. — Dave Barry

What else could have happened? Car wouldn't start? House caught on fire? Escaped convict climbed through his bedroom window and tied him with duct tape? Poison eggnog? Or maybe I just didn't matter to him. — Natalie Standiford

Wine is to women as duct tape is to men, it fixes EVERYTHING! — Tanya Masse

We were all the same, it seemed to me, all of us dented and scratched and damaged, held together with pins and duct tape, the walking wounded making one last stand in the dark before giving in to the inevitable". — Greg Gifune

After the 9/11 attacks, I dutifully stocked up on rolls of duct tape and N-95 masks, as the government recommended. — Dana Milbank

There are times when fixing things quickly is the only option: when you have to channel MacGyver, reach for the duct tape, and cobble together whatever solution works right now. If someone is choking on a morsel of food, you don't sit back, stroke your chin and take the Aristotelian long view. You quickly administer the Heimlich maneuvre. — Carl Honore

All solutions are temporary, so why not go for duct tape? — Garrison Keillor

You are an idiot," Tom informed him.
Prophet stared at the duct tape around his wrists. "I have no argument against that at the moment. — S.E. Jakes

Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can't improve on duct tape. — Andy Weir

Okay." Nate took a deep breath. "Now that we're all caught up on the new no-no's of the house, what do you say we find a tarp and some duct tape and MacGyver ourselves a new window in the living room? Just, you know, to keep out the wind ... and the leaves ... and any sharp-toothed woodland creatures prone to attacking people in their sleep."
Tristan raised a brow.
"What?" Nate shrugged. "Death by dragon? Awesome. Death by rabid forest squirrel? Not cool, man. Not cool. — Chelsea Fine

People who raise dogs to fight should be shot. Men who steal a little girl's dog to bait a fighting dog should die the slowest, most torturous death possible. Their skin should be separated from their flesh with an air hose through minute slits and then have water from the Salton Sea injected slowly into the cavities while someone rips off strips of duct tape from their balls. But that's just off the top of my head. — Rhys Ford

Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker. — David Letterman

Maybe if we wrap some of those around you, then even if the blanket slips, you won't burn. We can duct-tape it together. As long as you don't mind looking ridiculous."
The vampire smiled a closemouthed smile. — Holly Black

This book is just not meant for pretty reading. It's not for coffee-table curiosity and other such cameo appearances. Think of it instead as industrial-grade survival gear. Duct tape and superglue. Leather straps lashed around it. Old shoelaces maybe. In tight double knots. Whatever it takes to keep it all together. Because this is war. The fight of your life. A very real enemy has been strategizing and scheming against you, assaulting you, coming after your emotions, your mind, your man, your child, your future. In fact, he's doing it right this second. Right where you're sitting. Right where you are. But I say his reign of terror stops here. Stops now. He might keep coming, but he won't have victory anymore. Because it all starts failing when we start praying. — Priscilla Shirer

When they searched my car, they said that they found a gasoline canister and I think duct tape. Who wouldn't have a gasoline canister on them when driving 3,000 miles across country? — Sherman Austin

Also, I need some duct tape, a shovel, and Brandon's phone number... — Shane Miller

He backed away from me, clutching the phone to his chest. "What?"
"Gimme the phone," I commanded, holding out my hand.
His head dropped solemnly. "I am on a very important call."
"Yes, about me," I said, reaching for it. "Now give it."
He shrank away and eyed the room anxiously. "Damn, I knew I should have kept a spare roll of duct tape somewhere. — Karina Halle

How, he wondered, did humanity ever get along without duct tape? — Scott Hawkins

I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South? — Johnny Knoxville

Brotha needed to buy a vowel and rent a verb, then get a roll of duct tape slapped on that broken English. — Eric Jerome Dickey

God never uses duct tape to fix things - He will take your flesh and blood if you offer it to Him and use it like Play-Doh: "Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?" (Isa. 43:19 NKJV). I did know it, in the calm after my storm. — Rick Lawrence

Okay, our next stop is the hardware store." Marin's lips curved into a hint of a smile. "Yippee. Axes, duct tape, lamp oil, and a shovel, here we come." "It's disturbing how quickly you came up with that shopping list." And that made her grin outright. ~*~ — Kate Baray

It was about everything. About life and death, and white and black and gray. It was about having to be tough when you weren't used to it. About having to grow when you'd thought you were done growing. In the back of my head, I knew what I'd said didn't make any damn sense. But how could I explain? How could I begin to tell him that I had lost a part of myself with my brother's death, and I was trying so hard to keep what I had left together with duct tape and paper clips? — Mariana Zapata

I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels.' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees. — Felipe Esparza

You okay?" I asked Rosie and Rosie gave me an "are you nuts, that lunatic just tied me up with duct tape" look. — Kristen Ashley