Dryly Humorous Crossword Quotes & Sayings

The log on the fire: is it dreaming of the forest? — Marty Rubin

Ash on an old man's sleeve / Is all the ash the burnt roses leave, / Dust in the air suspended / Marks the place where a story ended. — T. S. Eliot

After college I got a job and started working. This new career had absolutely nothing to do with my degree. — Jason Najum

I felt sorry for myself since my wimpy dom can't catch a snail crossing the sidewalk. — Cherise Sinclair

One thing everyone understood, however, was that when they sprayed him with snow during a stoppage in play and he responded by throwing his blocker up into one of their guys' nose, he meant business. To be fair, he was not the first foreigner in China to lash out when frustrated by this culture. — Tom Carter

Small men, seeking great wealth or power, have too often and too long turned even the highest levels of public service into mere personal opportunity. — Barry Goldwater

The bass is just the crayon that I picked out of the box. I'd probably be writing similar stuff if I played guitar or trumpet. The pictures I want to draw I do with this crayon I chose, which is the bass. — Les Claypool

One should let one's nails grow for a fortnight. O, how sweet it is to drag brutally from his bed a child with no hair on his upper lip and with wide open eyes, make as if to touch his forehead gently with one's hand and run one's fingers through his beautiful hair. Then suddenly, when he is least expecting it, to dig one's long nails into his soft breast, making sure, though, that one does not kill him; for if he died, one would not later be able to contemplate his agonies. Then one drinks his blood as one licks his wounds; and during this time, which ought to last for eternity, the child weeps. — Comte De Lautreamont