Driving A Car Funny Quotes & Sayings

She'd done things to him he thought only happened to characters in country-western songs, laying waste to his car, his dogs, driving him from his home, and making an outlaw of him. It was almost funny. — Joe Hill

Could you bring me to Rita's house before we go to the airport?" I ask. "There's one last thing I need to ask her to do." "That is on the other side of the river," says Ethan."I know. But I need to see her. Please, I'll be eternally grateful." He doesn't say anything, but instead puts the car in gear and starts the engine. After we are driving for about two minutes he asks. "How grateful?" Ah, I see the old Ethan hasn't disappeared then. I smile and lean over to place a light peck on his cheek. "This grateful," I say to him."Hmm, I think you can do better than that," he chides in good humor.
"You're driving," is all I say in reply.
"I can pull over," he answers smartly. — L. H. Cosway

His phone rang again, and he turned it on speaker. "Adair residence - "
"Shut up, Cabe." Silas's voice filled the car. "Your Lexus isn't a residence, and I know you're driving, because I'm watching your GPS dot move down the road. — Jane Washington

I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good. — Whoopi Goldberg

If you're driving your car and someone winds the window down and gives you the finger and calls you an asshole, instead of giving him the finger back and calling him an asshole back, you just pull a funny face, and he doesn't know how to react to that, because you're using different rules. — Steve Coogan

You're going to pay the bill," said Grahame. "Then I'll escort you and the young lady out to the car. And we'll go back to my place, for a proper talk. Any funny business, and I shoot you both. Capiche? "
Fat Charlie capiched. He also capiched who had been driving the black Mercedes that afternoon and just how close he had already come to death that day. He was beginning to capiche how utterly cracked Grahame Coats was and how little chance Daisy and he had of getting out of this alive. — Neil Gaiman

A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight. "Sure," said the farmer, "My wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but they're off to college, and I'm all by myself, so I have lots of room to put you up."
Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back toward the highway.
The farmer called after him, "Didn't you hear what I said? I have lots of room."
"I heard you," said the salesman, "but I think I'm in the wrong joke. — Thomas Cathcart

I tried not to let my relief show. I'd been a passenger in Jae's car a total of three times, and after each trip, I forced myself not to kiss the ground in thanks once I got free of the Explorer. He'd learned to drive in Seoul. Apparently, no one believed in turn signals or lanes in South Korea, because Jae drove like a drunk butterfly heading to its next fermented flower. — Rhys Ford

Staying relaxed was helping him cope with the drug induced juddering vision that could be best described as being like a Hitchcockian visual effect operated by a hyperactive squirrel that shook the whole universe closer and farther away. If you went with it, it was quite pleasant, as long as you didn't introduce any lateral movement like turning your head or the car. This caused the universe to try and slide away from underneath you. The other side effect was the constant feeling you ought to try to twist your head off, in a good way. — Dylan Perry

I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety. — Richard Pryor

One of the big things that we wanted to do was trying to kick out a car window as you're driving after it's been shattered obstructing your view. I mean, that's - I can't count how many movies I've seen that in, and we just thought, you know, like, it could be funny if it just kind of goes wrong and this foot just kind of punctures through the window and gets stuck. — Seth Rogen

Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious. — Carlos Mencia