Doofus Quotes & Sayings

Frank gave Leo a confused smile- like he couldn't decide whether to gloat or to thank Leo for being a doofus- but he cheerfully let Hazel drag him along. — Rick Riordan

Yes, I have a very small and mostly nerdy fan club. And much to my amazement, it grows a little larger every day. Apparently, these new recruits liked what they saw of my act on YouTube (even though everybody wishes that doofus blocking the camera had a smaller head). — James Patterson

We use the word 'synoptic' to talk about Matthew, Mark, and Luke, and it really means 'seeing together,' because they all have a similar perspective. Matthew and Luke - whoever wrote those Gospels - used Mark as a focus and as a basic story. So all of them have a lot in common. — Elaine Pagels

The crowd groaned. "Nice job doofus!" Finn said. — Ridley Pearson

I just stand there like a doofus wondering just what in the effing blazes is going on. — Patrick Ness

Are you willing to see what you are seeing, and to know what you know? — Anne Lamott

Look, the point is, tiny fire-breathing dinosaur, stacked up against a doofus not-so-ninja turtle and an overgrown iguana with a flower on his back - practical shit aside, he's clearly the ace choice. — Daniel Younger

I would have done anything for him. But these days, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to get drunk or go to a wild party or make out with random boys-not that I've ever wanted to. I don't want to watch chick flicks or eat ice cream or get a haircut or buy out half of the mall. I don't want cold, cruel revenge. I don't want to see him suffer when karma catches up with him and kick his ass. I don't even want to talk to him right now, simply because it would be awkward and pathetic and I wouldn't know what to say to him. Yes, there is self-control, preventing me from being stupid and acting like a desperate doofus in the manner most heartbroken people do. But there is also a weary numbness threatening to consume every inch of me: Isn't there a way for me to skip straight to the part where I'm fine again? — Marla Miniano

Don't try to change Doofus, let Doofus change you. — Neil Peart

I could have explained that I wanted to walk without Doofus to get some air. But it would be pretty unusual-one might even go as far as to say unheard of-for me to take a hike on a winter night when I was exhausted from boarding all day. — Jennifer Echols

We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we're cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning. — Ellen DeGeneres

Wait," he said. "Before we leave, can I, um, can I see what you really look like now?"

"Doofus. I look like your sister."

"I know. But there's more now. Right?"

It was a fair question. She said, "Okay. But you have to promise not to freak out. Just remember I'm still me, regardless of what it might look like."

"I promise."

And so it was there, in the reimagined and reconstructed memory of the kitchen she once shared with Ria, that Molly set aside her human form and showed her brother what she had become. The transition went more smoothly than it had in Bayliss's hotel room. She dialed it back when Martin flinched and shielded his eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked, momentarily consumed with a vision of bloody tears streaking Bayliss's face.

"Oh, Moll," said Martin. He was crying. Not blood, though. "They turned you into starlight. — Ian Tregillis

Fear is the original sin," suddenly said a still, small voice away back - back - back of Valancy's consciousness. "Almost all the evil in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of something."
Valancy stood up. She was still in the clutches of fear, but her soul was her own again. She would not be false to that inner voice. — L.M. Montgomery

A guy's got to get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father. — Lois Greiman

One night a guy hit his head on a welding gun. He went to his knees. He was bleeding like a pig, blood was oozing out. So I stopped the line for a second and ran over to help him. The foreman turned the line on again, he almost stepped on the guy. That's the first thing they always do. They didn't even call an ambulance. The guy walked to the medic department
that's about half a mile
he had about five stitches put in his head. The foreman didn't say anything. He just turned the line on. You're nothing to any of them. — Studs Terkel

Especially on television, it's not so much a patriarchy; it always seems that there's a smart, strong woman calling the shots, and her doofus husband. In the sitcom world, it's almost a cliche that the women have the common sense, going back to 'The Honeymooners.' — Jake Weber

Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car. — Christopher Moore

Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. — P. J. O'Rourke

I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy. — Adam Carolla

Snowfall-funny name for a ski resort town,at least the falling part.It made me worry I would take my dog for a walk one afternoon and slip into an icy crevice,never to be heard from again. The only evidence that I'd ever existed would be Doofus the Irish setter, trotting happily home,dragging his leash. — Jennifer Echols

Listen, if you said to me, 'Adam Shankman is going to direct you in a musical and you have six months to learn how to tap,' I'd practice till I was blue in the face. I would do it because I'm so headstrong and think I can do anything. But just to show up and sing a little ditty, no. — Leslie Bibb

Well, here's one thing I think: MOST PEOPLE don't live like you and me and the kids we know in New York. And what's more, they DON'T WANT TO. I feel like a big doofus, but all of a sudden I'm realizing: there are lots of people who don't HAVE New York apartments or houses in Southampton and, get this, WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE THERE ANYWAY. They'd probably think, "Wow, big, crowded place. Lotta snobs. How lame." On the other hand, they probably have their own Southamptons. Only it's someplace you and I would probably think is really lame. AMAZING that people can see the world from such totally different points of view. — Anna Murray

Harley told me that you guys were having a bit of trouble, but he seemed to think it was all his fault. So maybe I could bring him over and give him a chance to apologize? I know he loves you, Shawn. If there's anything I can do to get you guys back together, then I'll do it."
"He doesn't need to apologize," I burst out. "I'm the doofus in our relationship. I need to get on my knees and say I'm sorry by sucking him off until his brain comes out his dick. Not that I keep a strict count or anything, but I owe him about twenty-three."
There was a little pause in the conversation as we looked at each other, and I realized I had overshared. With my lover's father. I winced.
"TMI?" I asked tentatively.
He swallowed visibly. "Just a bit."
"Sorry."
"No. Don't sweat it. I'll just focus on the fact that my boy has a healthy sexual relationship and leave the other images behind." I couldn't be sure, but I think he was trying not to laugh. I get that a lot. — Renae Kaye

Good characters the reader cares about combined with an intriguing plot. Do those two and you've got it made. — Bob Mayer

Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives
must die,
Passing through nature to eternity. — William Shakespeare

Don't accept the available as the preferable. Go extra mile with extra speed. — Israelmore Ayivor

Mistake:the unshoveled snow was knee-deep.I kept right on wading through it. "This is because I'm a good person," I assured Doofus. "I am going to heaven,though hopefully not by way of the convent. — Jennifer Echols

And I don't know who you're calling little."
I knew one way to solve this argument. I carefully tore the whole article out of the front page,then rolled up the newspaper and slid the rubber band back on. "Doofus," I whispered. Poor Doofus, behind us in the mud room, stood up in a rush of jingling dog tags and slobber. I slipped the paper into his mouth and whispered, "Take this to Dad."
Doofus wagged his tail and trotted into the kitchen. We heard Dad say, "Did you bring me the paper? Good dog.Wait a minute.Bad dog! — Jennifer Echols

If you plan to pass the pop quiz later, I'd advise it."
"It ain't a pop quiz if you warn people beforehand. Doofus."
"That's llygad-doofus to you, and did I say pop quiz? 'Cuz I meant ninja-quiz since you'll never see it coming. — Adrian Phoenix

We were all probably stuck here for the duration, on the third rock from our sun. Boldly going extinct. — Ernest Cline

Beethoven can't really be great because his picture isn't on a bubble gum card. — Charles M. Schulz