Donkey Like Quotes & Sayings

There has appeared in our time a particular class of books and articles which I sincerely and solemnly think may be called the silliest ever known among men ... these things are about nothing; they are about what is called Success. On every bookstall, in every magazine, you may find works telling people how to succeed. They are books showing men how to succeed in everything; they are written by men who cannot even succeed in writing books. To begin with, of course, there is no such thing as Success. Or, if you like to put it so, there is nothing that is not successful. That a thing is successful merely means that it is; a millionaire is successful in being a millionaire and a donkey in being a donkey ... I really think that the people who buy these books (if any people do buy them) have a moral, if not a legal, right to ask for their money back. — G.K. Chesterton

The coffee tastes like a donkey's ass — Victoria Scott

A Vampire!" I stammered. Then I noticed her legs. Below the cheerleader skirt, her left leg was brown and shaggy with a donkey's hoof. Her right leg was shaped like a human leg was it was made of bronze. "Uhh, a vampire with-"
"Don't mention the legs!" Tammi snapped. "It's rude to make fun. — Rick Riordan

The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden's financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn't sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me. — Jay Leno

Ryan had read half his book, listened to all his music, eaten two packets of biscuits and an apple, played seventy-two games of Donkey Kong, completing all the levels, and counted every Italian sports car they'd passed in the last hundred miles. Twenty-four hours of groggy sticky travel, twenty-four hours stuck in this overheated tin can on wheels, and he finally knew what it was like to be utterly and unendingly bored. He propped an elbow on the car window frame and stuck his arm out of the opening. Combing his hand through the slipstream, he let the cool air tickle his fingers as he watched the countryside stream past. — Peter Bunzl

It's On Like Donkey Kong. — Liam Payne

He kept coming back to the silence. It was so big. And surprising. Even when a donkey brayed somewhere in the same valley - loud, long and loaded with loneliness - it did not change the silence, it enhanced it. Like jewels around a beautiful neck. Ed smiled. You can be at the poshest hotel in the country, on the planet even, but a farmer can still put a lonely donkey in the field next door.
In the same way he couldn't control what arose in his mind - or appears in the world around him - but he could give it space. — Matt Padwick

I hope I leave this world gracefully, like a pilgrim slips from the back of his donkey at the end of a long ride, like a traveler disembarks from an airplane that has carried him across a great ocean. — Kim Wright

The Donkey
When fishes flew and forests walked
And figs grew upon thorn,
Some moment when the moon was blood
Then surely I was born.
With monstrous head and sickening cry
And ears like errant wings,
The devil's walking parody
On all four-footed things.
The tattered outlaw of the earth,
Of ancient crooked will;
Starve, scourge, deride me: I am dumb,
I keep my secret still.
Fools! For I also had my hour;
One far fierce hour and sweet:
There was a shout about my ears,
And palms before my feet. — G.K. Chesterton

I can't move. I'm paralyzed in the middle of the street, like the donkey in that Aesop's fable who couldn't choose between the bales of hay. They'll find me in years to come, still frozen to the spot, clutching my credit card. — Sophie Kinsella

We come to the page with too many expectations. Each poor little story is like a trembling donkey upon which we heap tons of weight. We don't just want a good book, we want a bestseller. If it isn't perfect, we hate it. If it isn't 100% right, it's 1000% wrong. Problem: we care too damn much. It's all or nothing with us and that's the kind of dichotomy that shanks our happiness right in the kidneys. So: care less. Ease off the stress stick. Have more fun with what you're doing. When your kids and dogs play in the mud, you can either freak out that they're too dirty, or you can laugh and jump in the mud, too. So, fuck it: jump in the damn mud already. — Chuck Wendig

My objective is and has been for years to make the lightest and most compact flying machine that would carry me at 25 or 30 miles per hour for 10 minutes or a quarter of an hour. Current events show this is not at all an ambitious project. Want of an elementary knowledge of oil machines baulks me and causes much misdirected effort. I doubt my ability to acquire that knowledge, and feel like a fireman trying to hew out a donkey pump ... — Lawrence Hargrave

Cuddles screamed. It wasn't a braying noise, it was an ear-slapping shriek of pure donkey outrage, like someone got hold of a foghorn and tried to strangle it. — Ilona Andrews

I like parties, but I don't like pinatas, because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals: 'Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzaz. Let's kick his ass!' — Demetri Martin

But just exactly what is the "good" to which we aspire through doing and eating things that are supposed to be good for us? This question is strictly taboo, for if it were seriously investigated the whole economy and social order would fall apart and have to be reorganized. It would be like the donkey finding out that the carrot dangled before him, to make him run, is hitched by a stick to his own collar.
For the good to which we aspire exists only and always in the future. Because we cannot relate to the sensuous and material present we are most happy when good things are expected to happen, not when they are happening. We get such a kick out of looking forward to pleasures and rushing ahead to meet them that we can't slow down enough to enjoy them when they come. We are therefore a civilization which suffers from chronic disappointment - a formidable swarm of spoiled children smashing their toys. — Alan W. Watts

Clearly his next tat needed to be more along the lines of a donkey. 'Cuz he was acting like an ass.

-Rehv's thoughts — J.R. Ward

There may be a lot of things I'm not good at, thought Vimes, but at least I don't treat the punctuation of a sentence like a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey ... — Terry Pratchett

Perhaps man was neither good nor bad, was only a machine in an insensate universe
his courage no more than a reflex to danger, like the automatic jump at the pin-prick. Perhaps there were no virtues, unless jumping at pin-pricks was a virtue, and humanity only a mechanical donkey led on by the iron carrot of love, through the pointless treadmill of reproduction. — T.H. White

I'm into classic games like Donkey Kong, and also collect vintage tour t-shirts - everything from Olivia Newton-John to Duran Duran. I've got a Chicago one worth $100. — Michael Rosenbaum

You can find things in the traditional religions which are very benign and decent and wonderful and so on, but I mean, the Bible is probably the most genocidal book in the literary canon. The God of the Bible - not only did He order His chosen people to carry out literal genocide - I mean, wipe out every Amalekite to the last man, woman, child, and, you know, donkey and so on, because hundreds of years ago they got in your way when you were trying to cross the desert - not only did He do things like that, but, after all, the God of the Bible was ready to destroy every living creature on earth because some humans irritated Him. That's the story of Noah. I mean, that's beyond genocide - you don't know how to describe this creature. Somebody offended Him, and He was going to destroy every living being on earth? And then He was talked into allowing two of each species to stay alive - that's supposed to be gentle and wonderful. — Noam Chomsky

The carrot and the stick are prevasive and persuasive motivators. But if you treat people like donkeys, they will perform like donkeys. — John Whitmore

OK, so ... hugging. How does that go? You sort of ... stretch your arms out ... " He does so too robotically, too broadly. It looks kind of like he's trying to find a boulder to slot into the space he's made between his chest and his hands. He looks like Donkey Kong, I think, and then I giggle. "What? I'm getting this soooo right. I just have to clamp these things around you, now ... — Charlotte Stein

It looks like a Grim if you do this," Seamus Finnigan said, with his eyes almost shut, "but it looks more like a donkey from here," he said, leaning to the left. — J.K. Rowling

I suspect people are suckers for a prick. I suspect folks just naturally go belly-up for a snob. Folks figure if a guy acts like he's King Tut and everybody else is donkey shit, he must be an aristocrat. — Katherine Dunn

Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey. — Andy Zaltzman

The winner of this election will be like same donkey, new saddle. — Malalai Joya

Do you think the Goblin King really did it?" asked Cordelia hesitantly. All the sheep knew she was talking about George's death. Mopple quickly pulled up a tuft of grass.
"Or Satan?" added Lane.
"Nonsense," Rameses snorted nervously. "Satan would never do a thing like that."
several of the sheep bleated in agreement. None of them thought Satan capable of such an act. Satan was an elderly donkey who sometimes grazed in the meadow next to theirs, and uttered blood-curdling cries. his voice was truly dreadful, but otherwise he'd always struck them as harmless. — Leonie Swann

This is Deirdre," said Addison. "She's an emu-raffe, which is a bit like a donkey and a giraffe put together, only with fewer legs and a peevish temper. She's a terrible sore loser at cards," he added in a whisper. "Never play an emu-raffe at cards. Say hello, Deirdre! — Ransom Riggs

I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn't talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

She's like a cross between an onion and donkey," Farah said.
"Why?" Jason and Connor asked simultaneously.
"Cause she's a piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye." Farah laughed. — Mark A. Cooper

If a person who is content with his life meets someone who makes everything just a little bit more challenging, who both fits and doesn't fit into his life and his routine, to quote Guy Fieri, it is On Like Donkey Kong: swing the rope, jump the barrel, and save the princess. — Sarah Wendell

The morning drive in Karachi was nothing like coasting on Storrow, but it hadn't taken Asad long to get used to it and it rarely bothered him now. Dreadful road manners were part of the traffic landscape in Karachi. Vehicles changed lanes without warning, motorcyclists zigzagged in and out, camel and donkey carts fought for road space, rickshaws spewed carbon and sulfur fumes, jaywalkers kept popping up from nowhere, and beggars, beggars and more beggars congregated at every traffic light. — Saad Shafqat

1:207-208
STEADINESS

Soul guides and prophets have an innate innocence, but they are subject to the same consequences as everyone. If a donkey veers off-course, he will be hit with a stick. If you do wrong, you will be punished. Abu Bakr said that steadiness is the central virtue. From the mind's stability comes right action which in turn balances the intelligence.

They asked me why prophets were given hardship. I said it helps to have clear indications. And I added silently to myself, Be more humble like someone held captive. Bow to the one who can free you.

Well beyond the reach of its fragrance,
I try to remember and say this longing. — Bahauddin

Kingslund's dress will be a matching one in silver. They will be absolutely exquisite. Jen would be exquisite. I'd probably look like a donkey at the races. With ribbons on it. — Mark Henwick

The world is a perfect design. If we can see it. If we can see ourselves and our surroundings. A vast sky held up by pillars. A carpet of earth that gives us all the food and fruit and nourishment we need to live. Animals of every species. Some that we can ride, some that we can eat, some that can help us in our work. They have specific duties.You can't tie a lion to a cart.
They have all been placed here as means for us to see our inner natures. Just because we are dressed like human beings doesn't exempt us from having animal tendencies. The mouse in us that steals a little bit from here and there. The vain peacock that grooms himself all the time. The sly fox. The stubborn donkey that closes his ear to the name of Allah. The scorpion that stings. These are all in us. — Shems Friedlander

When you were talking about the caste system, I was thinking about how Mexicans still have to come to terms with this in our own culture. We spoke earlier about the castas paintings that were made during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries in Mexico. The Spanish, establishing a form of racial apartheid, delineate the fifty-three categories of racial mixtures between Africans, Indians, and the Spanish. And they have names, like tiente en el aire, which means stain in the air; and salta otras, which means jump back; or mulatto, a word that comes from mula, the unnatural mating between the horse and the donkey. "Sambo" is now a racial epithet in the US, but it was first used as one of the fifty-three racial categories in the castas paintings. — Amalia Mesa-Bains

Trixie murmured. "It's on like Donkey Kong. — Sara Humphreys

Did you see Bush on TV, trying to debate? Jesus, he talked like a donkey with no brains at all ... It was pitiful ... I almost felt sorry for him, until I heard someone call him 'Mr. President,' and then I felt ashamed. — Hunter S. Thompson

Carter started down the stairs, but I grabbed his arm.
"Hang on. What about traps?"
He frowned. "Traps?"
"Didn't Egyptian tombs have traps?"
"Well ... sometimes. But this isn't a tomb. Besides, more often they had curses, like the burning curse, the donkey curse - "
"Oh, lovely. That sounds so much better. — Rick Riordan

There is a rational soul leading
your donkey through the mountain wilderness. When the donkey pulls away and takes off
on its own, that clear one chases, calling, "This place is full of wolves
who would love to gnaw your bones and suck the sweet marrow." This sovereign
self in you is not a donkey, but more like a stallion, and Muhammad is the stable keeper
speaking quietly, Ta'alaw, in Arabic, Come, come. I am your trainer. — Rumi

Only the donkey knows how weary it feels, all God cares about are humans, and not all humans, because some of them live like donkeys or worse, and God makes no effort to help them. — Jose Saramago

When I interview celebrities, I always try to throw them off balance. My favorite is to ask 'em about crazy sex stuff like donkey punches and Monroe transfers. Works every time. — Rachel Perry

I unhooked the partition and pulled it back, revealing the donkey's shaggy coat and pot belly. She wouldn't win any beauty pageants, but she looked to be in fairly good health. I clipped up her lead rope and led her to the top of the ramp where she stopped and looked around, swivelling her huge ears like antennae. Skip and Forbes were in the furthest corner of their paddock, staring in horror at the truck and snorting loudly at each other, clearly not impressed with the newest addition to the family. "What — Kate Lattey

This Son is a god who walked, a pedestrian god - and in a hot place, at that - with a stride like any human stride, the sandal reaching just above the rocks along the way; and when He splurged on transportation, it was a regular donkey. This Son is a god who died in three hours, with moans, gasps and laments. What kind of a god is that? What is there to inspire in this Son? Love, said Father Martin. — Yann Martel

We've had it checked and it reads like the ramblings of a drugged donkey — Chris Morris

A donkey appears to me like a horse translated into Dutch. — Georg C. Lichtenberg

After they had gone another mile, Pinocchio heard the same little low voice saying to him:
'Bear it in mind, simpleton! Boys who refuse to study, and turn their backs upon books, schools, and masters, to pass their time in play and amusements, sooner or later come to a bad end ... I know it by experience ... and I can tell you. A day will come when you will weep as I am weeping now ... but then it will be too late! ... '
On hearing these words whispered very softly, the puppet, more frightened than ever, sprang down from the back of his donkey and went and took hold of his mouth.
Imagine his surprise when he found that the donkey was crying ... and he was crying like a boy! — Carlo Collodi

If somebody tells you that you have ears like a donkey, pay no attention. But if two people tell you so, buy yourself a saddle. — Sholom Aleichem

I rode out of the stables on top of an eight-foot-tall donkey that looked like she had robbed a Holstein cow and was now wearing the stolen clothes. — Ilona Andrews

I know there are some people out there
who think I am supposed to end up
in a room by myself

with a gun and a bottle full of hate,
a locked door and my slack mouth open
like a disconnected phone.

But I hate those people back
from the core of my donkey soul
and the hatred makes me strong
and my survival is their failure,

and my happiness would kill them
so I shove joy like a knife
into my own heart over and over

and I force myself toward pleasure,
and I love this November life
where I run like a train
deeper and deeper
into the land of my enemies. — Tony Hoagland

I like 'fresh fruit flan'," said the donkey. "Three excellent words."
"I don't have one," said Noah immediately before the question could even be asked, and the donkey opened his eyes wide in suprise, and for a moment Noah wondered whether he might even consider eating him. — John Boyne

We are used to thinking of the Arabs as primitive men of the desert, as a donkey-like nation that neither sees nor understands what is going around it. But this is a GREAT ERROR. The Arab, like all sons of Sham, has sharp and crafty mind ... Should time come when life of our people in Palestine imposes to a smaller or greater extent on the natives, they WILL NOT easily step aside. — Ahad Ha'am

If somebody tells you you have ears like a donkey, pay no attention. But if two people tell you, buy yourself a saddle. — Sholom Aleichem

She had an unnecessarily loud voice, a bit of a bray, like some enchanted, hot donkey. — Gillian Flynn

Somebody once said that the Irish derived the greatest benefit from the English language. They court it like a beautiful woman. They make it bray with donkey laughter, they fling it at the sky like paint pots full of rainbow colors. — Malachy McCourt

Back in the late 1800s, when a place like this was originally built, you had to work with what you had, and you had to figure stuff out. You certainly couldn't Google it. You didn't have Internet. You didn't even have how-to books. You had to sit there and wrestle with it. You found this old spare part, you did this other thing, you hooked it up to a donkey, and you tried it out.
Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. But eventually you'd pop out on the other side and say, "I've got this."
Call me old-fashioned, but I've always solved problems like that.
-Chip Gaines — Joanna Gaines

When I am paid a compliment, I must compare myself with the little donkey that carried Christ on Palm Sunday. And I say to myself: If that little creature, hearing the applause of the crowd, had become proud and had begun -- jackass that he was -- to bow his thanks left and right like a prima donna, how much hilarity he would have aroused! Don't act the same! — Pope John Paul I

He cleared his throat. "I wish I could take back what I said." He looked away. "I behaved like a thoin aiseal."
"What does that mean?"
"A donkey's arse."
She glanced down at the furs, found herself fighting a smile. "And how do you pronounce that? I somehow suspect I may have need of that phrase again. — Shelly Thacker

I murmur: "It's a seat," a little like an exorcism. But the word stays on my lips: it refuses to go and put itself on the thing. It stays what it is, with its red plush, thousands of little red paws in the air, all still, little dead paws. This enormous belly turned upward, bleeding, inflated - bloated with all its dead paws, this belly floating in this car, in this grey sky, is not a seat. It could just as well be a dead donkey tossed about in the water, floating with the current, belly in the air in a great grey river, a river of floods; and I could be sitting on the donkey's belly, my feet dangling in the clear water. — Jean-Paul Sartre

While everyone adjusted themselves and their packs, Donna sniffed curiously at Louie's nose. Her attitude suggested she might want to make friends with the giant dog; Lou couldn't resist the temptation. Once Donna lured Louie in, she slowly, cautiously, turned about to align her hooves with Louie's head. Perhaps she didn't like dogs. Perhaps she didn't want a rival for Monty's attentions. Perhaps she was merely an impish tarkus much like the Dane himself. Cody watched as the Dane failed to grasp the gravity of his predicament. At the last moment, Cody smacked Louie's hind end, scuttling the devious donkey's murderous trap. — Map Whitman

Mitch stood. "How is this my fault? I'm not the one with the pussy that drains the life from a man!"
"And i'm not the one hung like an overendowed donkey — Shelly Laurenston

My whole life have been treated like a donkey. All I want is that one of mine - at least one - should live like a man. — Aravind Adiga

We stock up on popcorn and candy like we're crossing the Sierras, don't we? I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Is that the largest popcorn you've got there, that bucket? You don't have a barrel or anything like that? Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? - Oh, and a Diet Coke. — Ellen DeGeneres

My lack of initiative was the root cause of all my troubles - of my inability to want something before having thought about it, of my inability to commit myself, of my inability to decide in the only way one can decide: by deciding, not by thinking. I'm like Buridan's donkey, dying at the mathematical midpoint between the water of emotion and the hay of action; if I didn't think, I might still die, but it wouldn't be from thirst or hunger. — Fernando Pessoa

My wife, a schoolteacher, very disciplined. If you think I'm tough, trust me, and wait till you see when the children are on the naughty step. It's hilarious. So we decided that I'm going to work like a donkey and provide amazing support for the family. — Gordon Ramsay

When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides. — Louis C.K.

The distant sea, lapping the sandy shore with measured sound; the nearer cries of the donkey-boys; the unusual scenes moving before her like pictures, which she cared not in her laziness to have fully explained before they passed away; the stroll down to the beach to breathe the sea-air, soft and warm on the sandy shore even at the end of November; the great long misty sea-line touching the tender-coloured sky; the white sail of a distant boat turning silver in some pale sunbeam: - it seemed as if she could dream her life away in such luxury of pensiveness, in which she made her present all in all, from not daring to think of the past, or wishing to contemplate the future. — Elizabeth Gaskell

Have you ever seen a donkey smelling a beautiful rose? Donkeys aren't interested in roses, they like thorn bushes or watermelon rinds! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

She thought, He's afraid I'll make a mess of it. She was sure she had been careful to think that on the safe, private side of the silent border, but Ebon turned on her and said, Don't ever think that. About anything. You're my heart's sister, even if you are a funny shape and walk on your hind legs all the time and rattle away out loud like a donkey or a bird. I'm frightened because you're frightened, and because it's hard-it can be hard-the first time going into the Caves, and you're old for it-you can't do ssshuuwuushuu and the ssshasssha will be like ... being thrown in a cold dark lake when you can't swim and you've never seen water before. — Robin McKinley

Josh smiles as he takes my hand into his. "But that is a part of your personality. It's who you are. If he likes you then he'll not only understand what motivated your death threats, but will probably be charmed by them."

I am looking at Josh like he has just grown donkey ears and a tail. "Charmed by it?"

"Okay, maybe not charmed, but he'll understand. — L.A. Fiore

NO way was she crying in front of Ike. He already treated her like an overprotective big brother as it was. And that was really freaking annoying because it meant her fantasy of climbing him like a tree and having her wily way with him weren't ever coming true. Unrequited lust sucked big hairy donkey balls. — Laura Kaye

Is this spirited man the cook?" she shouted. "Are you responsible for this delightful feast? What a piece of luck! ... What is it you say, Mr. Apples?"
"Like shittin' with the pope."
"No, the other thing, less vulgar."
"Whistlin' donkey."
"Quite! A surprise and a delight like a whistling ... How is it that these phrases make sense when you say them? Anyway, bring him along. — Eli Brown

I don't like to watch myself on screen because in my mind there is a touch of George Clooney about me, but when I see it, there is more than a little Donkey from 'Shrek' about me. — Stephen Mangan

I feel like a donkey, with a stick in my mouth and a carrot up my ass. — Anton Chekhov

She used to imagine her parents and happy endings she would never have. Now she envisioned torments that were all too real.
She pictured one of Cinderella's stepsisters planting her foot on a cutting board - and biting down hard as the cleaver chopped through the bone of her big toe.
She imagined a princess used to safety, luxury, throwing the rank hide of a donkey over her shoulders, its boneless face drooping past her forehead like a hideous veil.
And she imagined her future self, flat on her back in bed, limbs as heavy as if they'd been chained down. Mice scurried across her body, leaving footprints on her dress. Spiders spun an entire trousseau's worth of silk and draped her in it, so it appeared she wore a gown of the finest lace, adorned with rose petals and ensnared butterflies. Beetles nestled between her fingers like jeweled rings - lovely from a distance, horrific up close. — Sarah Cross

The voice of a donkey braying in the neighbouring meadow seemed like the mocking laughter of demons. — P.G. Wodehouse