Dirty Humour Quotes & Sayings

All achievement, no matter what may be its nature, or its purpose, must begin with an intense, burning desire for something definite. — Napoleon Hill

She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected? — Karl Pilkington

Phrases and images from the game filtered through his head... hitting the sweet spot, working the rosin bag, over the bat, going deep, in the hole, double header, baseball was a filthy, dirty sport! — J.D. Ruskin

Ah, sahib. I know you just come to comfort a old man left to live by hisself. Soomintra say I too old-fashion. And Leela, she always by you. Why you don't sit down, sahib? It ain't dirty. Is just how it does look.'
Ganesh didn't sit down. 'Ramlogan, I come to buy over your taxis. — V.S. Naipaul

There are no dirty words in this book, except for 'hell' and 'God', in case someone is fearing that an innocent child might see 1 ... Perhaps the only precept taught me by Grandfather Wills that I have honoured all my adult life is that profanity and obsceny entitle people who don't want unpleasant information to close their eyes and ears to you. — Kurt Vonnegut

People will watch you build a house, but won't pass you a brick. And once your home is built, they want to come inside for dinner. — Andrea L'Artiste

There is no excuse for doing anything which is not strikingly beautiful. — William Morris

Hi, Nikki," Gavin said. Ariel didn't even bother looking up from Gavin's neck.
"Hey, Gavin," I said. "I thought that latest STD test came back positive? Ariel's head shot up. Good, I had her attention.
I kept my eyes on Gavin. "I'm happy to be wrong though."
Ariel pushed herself up off Gavin and stood there.
"It's not true," Gavin said, a disbelieving smile on his face.
"I've never even been tested."
"I'm out if here," Ariel said.
...
Gavin shot me a dirty look. "Thanks a lot Nikki."
Cole's lips twitched, obviously amused at what had just happened. — Brodi Ashton

Everything you have is to give. Thou art a phenomenon of philosophy and an unfortunate man. — Ernest Hemingway,

But now the train had finally begun to move, and Albie had switched the fearless truth-telling eye of his camera lens from his untied laces to the walls of the tunnels under east London, because you can never have enough pictures of dirty concrete. — David Nicholls

If I say to you "There is a man who dresses like one of us." Would you assume I was talking to myself about myself? — George Curtis

Rotten, dirty, back-slapping, wine-quaffing, haemorrhoid-hosting, goat-shagging, fart-sniffing, Crispin-loving, gold-snatching bastards!!! — Aaron D'Este

I'm thinking we ought to rethink the whole self-esteem thing. It should almost be a dirty word. I mean, look at Kayla. She has the intelligence of a tree stump, and its sense of humour. She's less about real attractiveness than she is about advertising ... She's the kind of girl who shows how hot she is because she has nothing else to offer, who doesn't realise that hotness has an expiration date. Yet, I'm still a little nervous talking to her like she's holding a lottery ticket she just might or might not decide to hand over to me. It is nuts, if you stop to think about it. I give give her this power, and it's kind of like voting some idiot into office. But hey, we're good at that, too. — Deb Caletti

A stiff letter galls one like a stiff shirt collar
whilst a sheet garnished here and there with a careless blot
and here and there a dash
but in the main full of excellent matter, is like a clever fellow in a dirty shirt whom we value for the good humour he brings with him and not for the garb he wears. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I'm a nobody telling everybody about Somebody who can save anybody. — Adrian Rogers

I think that people's sexual preferences are a legitimate subject for humour, dirty humour if at all possible. — Christopher Hitchens

I always put these pert jackanapeses out of countenance by looking extremely grave when they expect that I should laugh at their pleasantries; and by saying Well, and so?
as if they had not done, and that the sting were still to come. This disconcerts them, as they have no resources in themselves, and have but one set of jokes to live upon. — Lord Chesterfield

Even though I complain sometimes," it said, "it's because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly." "My — Paulo Coelho

If you're given a dirty look, wash it and give it back. — Benny Bellamacina

Titles available in the Harry Potter Series (in reading order): Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Other titles available: Quidditch Through the Ages Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them The Tales of Beedle the Bard Read — J.K. Rowling

Nature" doesn't really have intentions, per se. Nature is a drunk waking up from a weekend bender, ambling through a messy kitchen in a pair of mismatched slippers, seeing its car in the neighbor's pool and saying, "Ah good. It was dirty. Just the thing. — Pat Connid

Every war has its demons. — Richard Engel