Dirty Grandpa Quotes & Sayings

The ignorant and the deluded are, I think, in a strange way to be envied. That which is not known of does not trouble us, while an imagined but insubstantial peril does not harm us. To know the truths behind reality is a far greater burden. — H.P. Lovecraft

I'm going to take this from you, but you shouldn't be surprised because you know I'm a selfish bastard." His voice was low, gravely, almost a whisper, his lips just inches from mine. "But I also want to make sure it's done right. I don't know this Mark from art history. He could be a rubbish kisser, scarring you for life. It might take me years of kiss-therapy to undo the damage. — Penny Reid

There's a girl in this dress,
there's always a girl in distress. — Elvis Costello

There is a wonderful place
where flowers grow in colors
beyond the words of poets ...
trees sing with the
songs of butterflies.
And mythical tigresses look
at you with fiery golden eyes ...
open your heart
and feel the colors of magic
blooming inside you. — Laurel Burch

I have this working theory that the main cause of traffic after a car accident is rarely the accident itself. I think people just slow down to get a closer look at the wreckage. — Kris Kidd

That's what I have you for," I grinned. "I'm just here to carry the heavy stuff. The union says thinking rolls me into overtime — Rob Thurman

In woman, personal history blends together with the history of all women, as well as national and world history. As a militant, she is an integral part of all liberations. — Helene Cixous

He looks again towards the door, expecting Mum to walk in and remind him of something he's forgotten. He smiles awkwardly.
'Is that it, Dad? I've got to go.'
'Your Mum said I should mention ... um ... satisfaction.'
'What!'
'She said young men should know things, should be told things so that the girl won't be ... ' his eyes plead for understanding, ' ... disappointed.'
[ ... ] 'No worries, Dad. My biology teacher said I was a natural.'
Dad looks confused.
'I'm kidding, Dad.'
[ ... ] Poor bloke, having to do the dirty work while Mum's off with her gang.
'Dad? What did Grandpa tell you about sex?'
'He said if I got a girl pregnant, he'd kill me. — Steven Herrick

Nice clothes fall apart. Nice clocks don't work. Bits fall off the nice cooker. It is hard to accept that pricing is unrelated to quality, but it's plainly true. Nowadays, we pay the price that satisfies our particular personality type; and then we live with the painful consequences. — Lynne Truss

You dig in and you find something. — Georg Baselitz

People think I'm just an old Luddite, but that's untrue. I buy every new gizmo as it comes out, play with it until I understand how it works, and then give it away. — Felix Dennis

I sometimes suspect that half our difficulties are imaginary and that if we kept quiet about them they would disappear. — Robert Staughton Lynd

Pride often led men to foolish ends. — Alex Westmore

I'm very into the first production of the show. — Beth Henley

He sniffed his armpits just to see if they were rank, but they weren't. Let's hear it for twenty-first century deodorant. — Lisa Marie Rice

Getting your first review is like getting your teeth whitened. You hope it doesn't hurt as much as they say on the internet and you also hope it will leave you with a blinding smile. — Kathy Parks