Dilbert Dogbert Quotes & Sayings

It just ... it seems hard to say anything that isn't the wrong thing. — Richard Bachman

He had no illusions about why Kaz had looked out for him, but he also knew he never would have survived this long without his help. And Kaz didn't care didn't care if he could read. Kaz and the others teased him, but they'd given him a chance to prove himself. They valued the things he could do instead of punishing him for the things he couldn't (p322) — Leigh Bardugo

Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science. — Scott Adams

Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method.
Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist.
Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe.
Dogbert: Sounds cultish. — Scott Adams

One of you needs food,' said the Old Woman, 'and three of you need healing.'
So the Princess sat down to good soup, and fresh bread, and fruit tart with clotted cream and a mug of sharp cider, and the Old Woman put the creatures on the table, and healed them in her way. Her way was to make them tell the story of their hurts, and as they told, she applied ointments and drops with tiny feathery brushes and little bone pins ... — A.S. Byatt

You could spend hours following the trail of a single dispute, through smoking battlefields of interlinked comments threads and screen shots and blogs where the message "this post has been deleted by its author" stands like a tombstone over the grave of the one witness who can tell you what really happened. I know, because I've wandered extensively over this blasted heath in the past couple of weeks. — Laura Miller

Poetry may make us from time to time a little more aware of the deeper, unnamed feelings which form the substratum of our being, to which we rarely penetrate; for our lives are mostly a constant evasion of ourselves. — T. S. Eliot

Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes ... no, wait ... — Scott Adams

Men should also pay attention to their appearance and occasionally use cosmetics. — Nadezhda Tolokonnikova

Dogbert to Dilbert
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else? — Scott Adams

Other people are like a mirror which reflects back on us the kind of image we cast. — Fulton J. Sheen

It's become this really odd thing where even some of the folks who build the things that we wear for entertainment are contacted by DARPA-esque companies who are saying, "Yeah, we're really doing that, and we want to talk to you." — Robert Downey Jr.

What are the five stages of realizing you just did something too stupid to tell your friends? — Ruth Cardello

Self-awareness can't be built on looking at our pluses and minuses before we look at the most basic essence of what we are. — Ruben Papian

Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead. — Scott Adams

Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf.
Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene?
Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies. — Scott Adams

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly. — Scott Adams

Many who take up burdens come to resent being put upon. — Mason Cooley

Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away. — Scott Adams