Diet Funny Quotes & Sayings

...I gotta burn these scales... sigh* — Hiroko Sakai

I try to stick to a vegan diet heavy on fruit and vegetables. — Clint Eastwood

The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up! — Mitch Hedberg

I am not all sneers and scathings, you see, I have my gentler side. — John Banville

Medicine's a funny business. After all, dispensing chemicals is considered mainstream and diet and nutrition is considered alternative. — Charles F. Glassman

The Shrink always warned me that carriers stay wracked with lifelong guilt. It's not an uplifting thing having turned lovers into monsters. We feel bad that we haven't turned into monsters ourselves
survivor's guilt, that's called. And we feel a bit stupid that we didn't notice our own symptoms earlier. I mean, I'd been sort of wondering why the Atkins diet was giving me night vision. But that hadn't seemed like something to worry about ... — Scott Westerfeld

The first time I heard Bird play, it hit me right between the eyes. — John Coltrane

We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry every night. Well, that was probably true. They were all on a diet. — Ronald Reagan

It would be like a cleansing diet. The problem was, the only diet I'd ever been on backfired. Once I tried to go an entire month without chocolate. Not one bite. At the end of two weeks, I broke down and binged on more chocolate that I would have eaten in three months. I hoped my chocolate-free diet didn't foreshadow what would happen if I tried to avoid Patch. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? — Regina Griffin

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

If that's the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake," Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, "I'm all for fighting tyranny and oppression. — E.A. Bucchianeri

Hrithik is the go-to guy for queries related to diet. He is great with expressions and is funny in real life. I wonder why someone hasn't cast him in a comic role yet. — Farhan Akhtar

Precisely this one, which I had intended to be published anonymously so that it could never build any reputation on the part of the author, did become a success ... Don't aim at success - the more you aim and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued, it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. — Viktor E. Frankl

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. — Erma Bombeck

The whole red state/blue state thing is very interesting. Watching that shift over the years. — Anne Waldman

Movie acting, I later realized, reminds me of contract bridge. Each requires the same concentration, intense short-term memory, and obliviousness to everything else until the last trump is called - or whatever it is they do. — Gore Vidal

I find that when you see somebody in the tabloids all the time, you have no desire to see them in movies. — Seann William Scott

It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything. — Colin Quinn

Moms are so hard to understand! They'll never allow us to go on diet for fitness but forcefully make us fast in the name of God!
~Swapna Rajput~ — Swapna Rajput

It's not really wine," he said. "It's Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back. — Jennifer Echols

I am fairly certain that I was the first Seven Sisters grad to eat duck liver chased with a Diet Coke in the lobby of a federal penitentiary. Then again, you never know. — Piper Kerman

We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando Wooldridge, it's a coach's dream - X vs O. — Mychal Thompson

Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE — A.O. Storm

The only thing you will get from common sense, is a common life. Be uncommon and have uncommon sense. — Bryant H. McGill

I love New York. I love working here. — Margaret Cho

There's nothing on it worthwhile, and we're not going to watch it in this household, and I don't want it in your intellectual diet. — Philo Farnsworth