Dicks Quotes & Sayings

Give me break," Polly said. — Matthew Dicks

He's dancing with the devil in pale moonlight — Matthew Dicks

So when people go to the park this summer, they are not going to have the same quality of a visit. There is not going to be a ranger out on the trail to tell them about the important cultural and historic areas within the Olympic National Park. — Norm Dicks

Dandy, Martin replied, once again pleased with his response. A girl can make a guy feel good, great, and even fabulous, but how often does a lady hear that her man is feeling dandy?
Not often, he guessed. — Matthew Dicks

I'll tell you what's real. Real is that I was in jail for the past year, rooming with drug dealers and eating crap food your dog wouldn't touch. Real is not being able to wear your own frickin' underwear and showering with twenty-five other dicks every day while guards watch. Real is my next-door neighbor who walks like she's balancing on stilts because her leg is so fucked up from the accident. Brian, your perception of reality is totally off. — Simone Elkeles

You know why doctors slap babies on the bottom when they're born? So the dicks fall off the smart ones."
He laughed. "You know why women don't have dicks? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. — Barbara Elsborg

Mr. Chairman, obviously a $60 million cut in the National Endowment for the Arts would be a disaster. — Norm Dicks

There's only 2 reasons that you hate gay marriage;
1. You're dumb, or 2. You're secretly worried that dicks are delicious. — Joe Rogan

Everyone is someone's devil. — Matthew Dicks

I bet if cancer of the penis was more prevalent there'd be a cure for this fucker. I bet if dicks were being amputated or dropping off left, right and centre there'd have been a cure decades ago. There'd be a whole fucking government dick department dedicated to it. — Amy Andrews

So many gay jokes tonight about (James) Franco. Apparently if you're clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you're super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face. — Aziz Ansari

Can we all just stop being dicks?! — Adam Hills

And if this is anyone's fault," she continued. "It's mine for bringing an innocent little girl around a criminal motorcycle club full of self-important assholes who think with their dicks and their guns instead of their brains! — Madeline Sheehan

There's going to be just a teeny bit of angst (this is a romance book) and then there's going to be a Happily Ever After. And, oh yes, dicks and butts, lots of dicks and butts. Seriously, keep a wet wipe handy, there's some really hot stuff in here. — Nick Pageant

I'm an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard. — Raymond Chandler

Men are like vibrators. Just because they're dicks, it doesn't mean you can't use them to have a good time. — Leisa Rayven

Whoever said white men had little dicks was dead ass wrong. — Mz. Lady P

Max lives on the inside and the other kids live onthe outside. That's what makes him so different. Max doesn't have an outside. Max is all inside — Matthew Dicks

Lucifer. You're my brother, and I love you. But sometimes, You're just a great big bag of dicks. — Gabriel

Sarah. Oh, Sarah." He closed his eyes and slapped his hand over his face. "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. You don't try to use reason with a man when you want to play slap and tickle with him."
"You don't?" When he grinned and shook his head, I scowled. "Why not?"
Colton sighed. "Because dicks don't respond to reason; they respond to stimulation."
"So ... ?" What the heck was he saying?
"Seduce that motherfucker, and he'll fold like a house of cards. — Linda Kage

I know that sounds too earnest, but it's true. I mean, I would rather be a librarian, but I worry about the job security. Books may be temporary; dicks are forever. — George R R Martin

Sometimes men are pussies, and they need you to dangle yours in front of them to remember that they're all dicks. — K.A. Linde

I always say that I love magic but I hate magicians. I like being fooled. If you wave your hands in front of my face and I think you're doing a trick, I'm easily impressed. If you pull a quarter out of my ear, I'm quite certain you're a wizard. But I don't like the way most magicians don't act like they're magical; they act like show business dicks. — Greg Behrendt

If you can't draw a crowd, draw dicks on the wall — Ben Folds

And that is the nature of us poets and whores, to make things hard: dicks, choices... life. — Nicole Lyons

Books are temporary , dicks are forever — Gillian Flynn

I can't take a dick-measuring contest."
...
"I know Meshack has a big one. And from what I've felt, Zulu is big. Both of your dicks are equally big. — Kenya Wright

Come on, you guys." Caraco leans back against the drying rack. "Can't you settle this some other way? Maybe you could just whip out a ruler and compare your dicks or something. — Peter Watts

Dicks don't have brains. It's why men get into trouble — Kylie Scott

I've got enormous breasts. — James Carville

Males were expected to be ready to fuck any hole they could slip their dicks into. Boys weren't considered men unless they were influenced by their carnal instincts to spread their seed. — Maggie Young

She probably has a row of men's dicks nailed to her wall, like stuffed animal heads. — Margaret Atwood

I was right. Mrs. Patterson is neat and organized. She cannot be trusted. — Matthew Dicks

This funding from the National Endowment for the Arts has been like the Good Housekeeping seal of approval. — Norm Dicks

Ah!" said the troop horse. "That explains it. I can trust Dick." "You could put a whole regiment of Dicks on my back without making me feel any better. I — Rudyard Kipling

Shut up, Kelsey, and just give Lissa a chance," Chloe snapped.
Kelsey mocked surprise. "Oh my God, Chloe can speak? I thought her mouth only worked for sucking dicks. It's a miracle. — Kody Keplinger

It's hard to have a serious conversation with you when you're wearin' lighted cocks on your head."
AJ defiantly thrust out her chin and the penises bobbled. "We aren't having a conversation. You're give me tough-guy attitude. If you won't acknowledge me in public, you don't have the right to chastise me for anything I do in public or in private. And now you lost the right to do anything to me in private either, bucko."
"Quit bein' so goddamm childish."
Her eyes narrowed to silver slits. "Quit bein' such a goddamn dickhead."
"You're the one with dicks on your head, baby doll."
"Yeah? I can take mine off any old time I please, but you wear your dickhead like a second skin. Or should I say as a second foreskin? — Lorelei James

Ugh, why don't all men pierce their bloody dicks? I think it could bring about world peace. Like, seriously. Could you imagine all the satisfied, happy women wandering the earth after having sex with big, fat, pierced dicks? World peace, I tell ya. — Nina Levine

Babe, best wool men ever pulled was lettin' women think we think with our dicks. We pay a fuckuva lot of attention. We know your shit maybe more than you do because we live it right along with you and some of you try to make us eat it. It's just that some of us choose not to get sucked in the drama and instead focus on getting laid regularly."
I felt my eyes get big right before I wrapped my arms around him and started giggling, but I managed to push through my giggles, "Honey, not sure you should share the brotherhood's secrets."
"You talk, no woman will listen. They prefer to think a man's brain is in his dick. Gives 'em something to bitch about. — Kristen Ashley

Take care of it," he demanded of Shanti over his shoulder. "We don't need a bunch of dicks wagging around this city."

"You already have a bunch of dicks wagging around the city," Shanti yelled back. "They're the ones barking orders. — K.F. Breene

The American people are going to judge the majority party here today. If they go out here and vote for this rule that allows this provision to be stricken, they are voting against the men and women in the military of our country. — Norm Dicks

Train that bitch to love you, a bitch like that, she's the type you have to train, and even then, she'll still try to fuck around on you and test the boundaries, unless you have something no other man has, but to her you're a dick, and her she likes big dicks and muscular men, I can tell. — Stephen Demone

I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks. — Zach Galifianakis

How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are. — Jim Gaffigan

Thoughts are powerful, one thinking for something makes big changes... you try... Imagine this say "I want to fuck", then imaginate a girl. A woman which is 18 years old, blonde hair, white skin, big ass, big boobs, long legs, and likes to play with dicks... Think few times on such type of stuff and look the magic! — Deyth Banger

At the time I wasn't even sure what she meant - what does anyone do? We mark time until we die. She was still waiting for an answer. My roommate filled the silence. "He's a writer," he said. "Oh," she said. "What does he write about?" "His dick." She gave me a sharp look and said, "That sounds like pornography." "No," my roommate said. "If he writes about other people's dicks, it's porn. But if it's his own, it's art. — Chris Offutt

Jessica Trent was a thin, freckled redhead who had more fire in her hair than her demeanor. Caroline had spoken to the mother of two on several occasions, but being that she and Jessica were both fairly shy, they hadn't managed to connect. Shy people, in Caroline's experience, rarely forged successful friendships because they need an extrovert to make things happen. Someone to take the first step, make the first phone call, and assume the initial risk. Shy people like Caroline and Jessica require a facilitator of sorts to get things started, and there had been no one to bring the women together. It was a shame. Caroline suspected that she and Jessica Trent had a lot in common. — Matthew Dicks

HEY, KIDS! TAKE YOUR DICKS OUT OF THE PLAYSTATION THREE FOR ONE GOD DAMN MINUTE AND READ SOME FUCKING COMICS. — James Kochalka

During the past 30 years, European governments have provided more than $15 billion in the form of low- and no-cost loans to Airbus for the specific purpose of developing new aircraft lines. — Norm Dicks

Maybe they hurt so much that the only way they can say it, is to say nothing — Matthew Dicks

Once you've got a bull terrier, you never want another dog. I've got six bull terriers, a rottweiler and a bulldog. — Julian Dicks

When unspeakable violence is enacted upon innocents, say, in a school or movie theatre, and the survivors and the families of the victims, in the throes of pain and anguish, want to ask, "Why did this happen?," "How did this happen?," and "What can we do to prevent this from happening again?," and one of the areas they (still we) focus their scrutiny is that of the highly efficient weapons of warfare that are casually available to us citizens of the United States, then we frightened gun owners have the chance to be human and say, "Okay, this is a horrible tragedy. Let's open up a conversation here." Instead, I'm surmising, out of fear, we throw up our defenses and behave in a very confrontational way toward such a conversation , citing the Second Amendment as the ultimate protection of our rights, no matter how ridiculously murderous the firearm, which, unfortunately, makes us look like dicks. — Nick Offerman

Despite their common reputation as agents of God's will, forces of good, and the gold standard for morality, all the angels Dean had met over the last year had been shifty, manipulative dicks. Except Cas, of course. — Rebecca Dessertine

He had got a good start on another book, Silent Spring, by Rachel Carson. I stood until he finished a paragraph, shut the book on a finger, and looked the question. "Twenty grand," I told him. "The DA wanted fifty, so I'm stepping high. One of the dicks was pretty good, he nearly backed me into a corner on the overalls, but I got loose. No mention of Saul or Fred or Orrie, so they haven't hit on them and now they probably won't. I signed two different statements ten hours apart, but they're welcome to them. The status quo has lost no hide. If there's nothing urgent I'll go up and attend to my hide. I had a one-hour nap with a dick standing by. As for eating, what's lunch? — Rex Stout

Dicks didn't need to be inserted for it to be cheating. — Alice Clayton

Granted the dialogue is unrealistic and cringe-worthy and the dude is a crude alpha with a cock the size of a Subway sandwich, but hey, no one wants to read about pencil dicks either. The — Karina Halle

A check girl in peach-bloom Chinese pajamas came over to take my hat and disapprove of my clothes. She had eyes like strange sins. — Raymond Chandler

He was an idiot, like all men who did more thinking with their dicks than actually putting them to their natural use. — Pepper Winters

I'm all done with hating you. It's all washed out of me. I hate people hard, but I don't hate them very long. — Raymond Chandler

Maybe we should just take out our dicks and see which is bigger? — Ginn Hale

Maybe we are all somebody's devil," Oswald says. "Maybe even me and you. — Matthew Dicks

you don't have the luxury of whipping out your dicks and seeing who's bigger — Alanea Alder

We are our own wicked gods with little 'g's' and big dicks, sadistic and constantly inflicting a slow demise. — Marilyn Manson

Always remember, darling girl, men love the pussy and their dicks are always fiending for attention. If you're not around to give it to them, they'll get it somewhere else and the novelty of new lips and a new cunt might shock them so much they'll think they're in love. — Katie Ayres

We came here to pick up chicks, not talk about dicks. — J. B. Smoove

Our world needs brutality and cruelty to sustain its equality and justice. Without it, handsome guys and beautiful ladies will fuck everyone they want. And we all ugly people will wait holding our dicks in our hands. — M.F. Moonzajer

You could get a real job," he said with a little smile.
"Fuck that," I said emphatically. "Anyway, doing what? I've got a high school diploma from years ago and no employment history whatsoever. If I got an interview for McDonald's, what am I supposed to tell them? My idea of interpersonal skills is taking two dicks at the same time. — Anna Martin

Your quick 'no' is because I refused to say 'yes' to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your - — Avery Aster

The girl's still unconscious. I'm surprised you didn't kill her.'
'These miniature versions have parents. And parents ask questions. — Terrance Dicks

Don't even think about a quickie," I warned him with a sharp shake of my head. "I couldn't come in this place even if you had two dicks."
He grinned. "That sounds like a challenge. You know that can be arranged. — Karina Halle

This is exactly what I meant by unfair, Abe. If I woulda brought a guy home and announced, 'He's staying with me in my room,' both you and Hank would've trussed him up and dragged him off Lawson land."

"Not the same thing, Celia."

Her gray eyes narrowed. "Why? Because you both have dicks? Or because you both are dicks? — Lorelei James

The Smithsonian Institute is one of the most popular agencies of government in the United States. — Norm Dicks

He doesn't move at all. I think he does this on purpose. If he moved, if he even nodded, then there would be no more sides in the room. Everyone would be on the same side. They would be a team. — Matthew Dicks

They are working hard and fast, but they are just doing what they are supposed to do. I see the same look on the faces of some of Max's teachers when Max doesn't understand something and the teacher doesn't think he will ever understand it. The teachers work hard, but you can tell that they are just doing the lesson. Not teaching the lesson. That's what the doctors look like now. They are doing the doctoring but they do not believe in the doctoring. — Matthew Dicks

Tell this guy to eat a hundred-calorie pack of dicks. — Jenny Mollen

Men are by wits not by dicks — Himmilicious

Hold onto your dicks."
"We don't all have dicks, dickhead," Kasyanov muttered. — Tim Lebbon

It's post-traumatic stress disorder. When these women go ballistic and shoot their husbands or slice off their dicks, they aren't thinking about the consequences . . . just about stopping the aggression. — Jodi Picoult

ou know chicks before dicks. Never choose a guy over a friend. It's one of the most important rules of feminism. — Rosalind Wiseman

Lions eat giraffes so they can survive even though the giraffes didn't do anything to the lions, and nobody thinks that the lions are wrong. — Matthew Dicks

The two men eyed each other. Assessing strengths. Looking for weaknesses. Measuring dicks once again — Jennifer Estep

No point in being a grown-up if you can't be childish. — Terrance Dicks

I want to make love to you, Rhone. I want to fill your ass with my penis and fuck you until you love it just as much as I do. I want to suck your dick and eat your balls until your cum coats my tongue and throat. I want you to do the same to me. I want to come inside you, in your mouth, in your ass, on your chest, marking you as mine in a way you can feel even when I'm not by your side. That's what I want. It's what I've wanted ever since you told me I could have a different, better life and then took the time to care and to show me how to care about myself. I want everything you can give, and I want to offer you everything that I am. — Cameron Dane

She smelled the way the Taj Mahal looks by moonlight. — Raymond Chandler

Now that we've compared the equivalent of our supernatural dicks, why don't you answer my question? — Jeaniene Frost

When we don't have dicks to distract us, we have the freedom to use our brain. — K.F. Breene

And cats are dicks for the most part. — Trevor Noah

The two men stared at each other. Assumptions were made, judgments rendered, dicks measured. — Jennifer Estep

The time has come for the American government to recognize the damage that has occurred to our economy, and to take firm action to curtail what I believe is both unfair and illegal foreign competition. — Norm Dicks

As she told them, Brie was relieved to see them both as con-
fused by the story as she was - but less relieved by which parts they focused on:
"Freak cougar accident," Kev said with a grin.
Paul tried to put it together. "Well, was it his wife or some- thing? It happens."
"No, I mean it was a literal cougar. I tried to leave with the cash, but this dick caught me and arrested me."
"I'm sorry. Cougars? Dicks? Are you sure you're being literal?"
"I mean a literal cougar and a detective. Yeesh, you guys have complete gutter-mind. Anyway, I'm headed out again tonight. We'll have the whole thing cleared up by morning. — Daniel Younger

Cam starts laughing, "Oh, I love it when she reads." He turns to Lucy who's face is starting to contort and turn to a bright shade of red, "She reads these smutty books, like full on dirty shit, full of sex and like ... bdsm shit."
"I'm not joking boys, they're like full on pornographic. Talking about silky shafts and veiny dicks and shit," Logan is now on the ground holding his side from the pain of laughing too hard.
"Sometimes she'll be reading, then all of sudden she'll put her book down and look at me like she wants to eat me, literally eat me!" he yells, laughing harder, still swatting away her hands that are trying to shut him up, "I mean I don't mind it, not at all. It's hot as fuck. And she wants to try everything she reads in these books. Like ... everything. She learns everything from these books ... so I don't give a shit when, of how much she reads, I get rewards. — Jay McLean

Over 30 years ago, Airbus was founded by a European consortium of French, German, and later Spanish and British companies to compete in the large commercial aircraft industry with U.S. companies. — Norm Dicks

They touched me all over randomly and I loved it. It felt like they were aching to have me back on their dicks. — Amelia LeFay

She says "immediately" in a way to let the person who parked the car know that she is annoyed. She could just say, "Please move your car from the circle. And whoever you are, I am annoyed that you parked there" but instead she says "immediately," which seems nicer and not so nice at the same time. — Matthew Dicks

The man was great, but no man was great enough to sever a friendship between her and one of her girls. Chicks before dicks, and all that. — Katee Robert

Just a short while ago the Republicans were objects of fear and hatred - now they're just pathetic assholes. Barry took them to the paint and cut their throats. (O-BAM-a!) Now they walk around like white frat boys in Bed-Stuy, talking tough to show they aren't scared as the urine streams down their chinos into their cordovans. Obama has these dweebs so turned around all they can do is get behind some fat junkie DJ, a gibberish-spewing PsychoBimbette from the Far North, and a tele-dork who gives adrenaline-crazed, 1950s-style "chalk talks" (speaking of little white dicks) like some health-class instructor in a sex-offender unit. — Don Winslow

I met Keith Haring at SVA college where he was having an art show, later we had a group art show at the Mud Club in NYC. Keith owed me $50, so he gave me a large framed canvas with barking dogs that had large dicks. I painted over Keith's painting to paint flowers for my mom's living room. — Steve Kaufman

And even if Amina didn't yet know what it was to love like that, to burn until your spine has no choice but to try to wind itself around an empty shirt, she understood for sure that the people who said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all were a bunch of dicks. — Mira Jacob

They talk to kids in their regular voices and say things that they would say in their own living rooms. Their bulletin boards are always a little raggedy, and their desks are always a little messy, and their libraries are always a little out of order, but kids love them because they talk about real things with real voices and they always tell the truth. — Matthew Dicks

I shouldn't have let you go. I should've said something yesterday, but it was intense for me, too, and you scared me, Cody. You scare me a lot."
"That's because you're a city dick," I reply. "City dicks are always scared."
"So I've been told."
"Well, you scare me, too", I say. — Gayle Forman