Diarrhea Funny Quotes & Sayings

[Ever been kissed?]
Of course
Describe it
Why?
I want to know if you've
Ever seen Heaven. — Jess C. Scott

In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody. — Dean Martin

Like backstage, I just peed like every 3 seconds. I think yur staff thinks I have diarrhea. — Jennifer Lawrence

I write the lyrics based on what is going on in my life - I'm not going to write about the old hair metal stuff, like castles and stuff. — Oliver Sykes

When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out ... and yes I'm very ticklish'. — Demetri Martin

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it. — Adam Carolla

Dear child, I see your eyes - you already know the truth. Whomever you are waiting for ... they're never coming back. — Shannon L. Alder

Politics is more difficult than physics. — Albert Einstein

It was the kind of storm that suggests the whole sky has swallowed a diuretic. — Terry Pratchett

I've never really thought I'd get married. It's not that I'm suspicious of it or anything like that, it's just that I don't have a reference for it because my mum wasn't. — Catherine Tate

She unfolds the piece of paper in her hands and she reads again the story written on it. — Ali Smith

This was Jonan's boat. She had helped Nan Seller dose his entire crew against the annual diarrhea outbreak known as the winter runs — Sarah Zettel

I love me. I love my uniqueness. — Lailah Gifty Akita

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points. — Zach Galifianakis