Dean Koontz Funny Quotes & Sayings

Not funny ha ha, funny weird — Dean Koontz

In this world only the paranoid survive. — Dean Koontz

Jocko likes salty, Jocko likes sweet, but never bring Jocko any hot sauce, like with jalapenos, because it makes Jocko squirt funny-smelling stuff out his ears. — Dean Koontz

He's my father, whoever he is, so he must have had sex with my mother at least once, and I'd love to kill him for that. — Dean Koontz

It's funny, ma'am, how sometimes you're so sarcastic but it doesn't sting."
"Because of my dimples. Dimples are a get-out-of-jail-free card — Dean Koontz

In the end, it's all about perseverance. — Dean Koontz

And the funny thing was if you made the best of it, if you smiled through every storm, the bad things were never as terrible as you expected them to be, and the good things were better than anything you could have wished for yourself. — Dean Koontz

Winny had learned from books ... you had to be tested in life to discover who you were and what you were capable of doing. Hopeless sissy, noble warrior, maniac - he could be anything, and he wouldn't know until he was tested. One thing he could never be was Santa Claus. Nobody could be Santa Claus. Santa Claus wasn't real like the FedEx guy. — Dean Koontz

Funny, how one good cookie could calm the mind and even elevate a troubled soul. — Dean Koontz

Funny how people that don't believe in nothin' are so quick to believe every crazy story about people like us. — Dean Koontz

whatever came your way, you had to make the best of it, grin and bear it, smile through the storm. And the funny thing was, if you made the best of it, if you smiled through every storm, the bad things were never as terrible as you expected them to be, and the good things were better than anything you ever could have wished for yourself. — Dean Koontz

I'm not much for parties. Sometimes you have to wear a funny hat, sometimes they expect you to eat sushi, which is like eating bait. And there's always some totally drunk girl who thinks you're smitten by her, when what you're really wondering is if she'll vomit on your shirt or instead on your shoes. — Dean Koontz