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Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

If you must know, my parents came from pretty hardscrabble backgrounds in the southern Midwest. I certainly didn't grow up poor, but I did spend my 20s and early 30s juggling temp jobs and choking on massive student-loan debt. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

The truth is that most of your Facebook friends are too busy counting their own 'likes' to pay attention to you for more than a few seconds anyway. Unless you happen to be a kitten who's in love with a baby goat, in which case you should hire a publicist immediately. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

What I think is important about essayists - about the essay, as opposed to a lot of personal writing that kind of finds its way into public view - is that the material really has to be presented in a processed way. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

You don't realize how much a dog's presence defines the contours of your home until, in its absence, the walls seem to relocate themselves. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

This was a time in my life when I was so filled with longing for so many things that were so far out of reach that at least once a day I thought my heart would implode from the sheer force of unrequited desire.

By desire I am not referring to apartments I wanted to occupy or furniture I wanted to buy or even people I was attracted to (well, I'm referring to those things a little) but, rather, a sensation I can only describe as the ache of not being there yet. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

wrestling with a curiosity about country living that seemed strangely akin to a homophobic person "struggling with same-sex attraction." As much as I wanted to be a creature of the city, as much as I'd organized my entire life around the overpriced, undersized vagaries of Manhattan living, I sometimes found myself wanting desperately to live on a farm, or at least near one. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Of the countless ways to feel old in your 40s, perhaps none is quite as perplexing as seeing a young person trendily decked out in 1980s-style garb and saying to yourself, 'I can't believe that look is back in style. It was bad enough the first time around!' — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

When there's so much choice, it can get overwhelming and it's hard to make a choice. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

What I want is to have people's notion of adulthood no longer be so defined by being a parent. There is some kind of conventional wisdom that you're not really a mature person until you become a parent. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Non-fiction about personal subjects is going to attract more user comments than a foreign correspondent writing from Syria - unfortunately. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

But it's the temptation of so many suburban-raised children to invent tales of adversity, to create hardscrabble mythologies out of life histories marked by little more than field hockey games and orthodontist appointments. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Obviously, nobody chooses not to have kids because they'd rather sleep in late. It's a very visceral decision, and it's a complicated decision. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

In my own writing, I tend to be very honest, and my goal is to identify something people think but are afraid to say. That's not the general cultural expectation of women. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Self-righteousness, when you think about it, is a contra-indicator of self-esteem. It's what sets in when genuine righteousness eludes us. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

If something good happens to you, and no one knows it, did it really happen? Moreover, if you don't publicize your accomplishments and good fortune, are you essentially saying you don't care about them? — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I wonder if the real measure of "home" is the degree to which you can leave it alone. Maybe appreciating a house means knowing when to stop decorating. Maybe you've never really lived there until you've thrown its broken pieces in the garbage. Maybe learning how to be out in the big world isn't the epic journey everyone thinks it is. Maybe that's actually the easy part. The hard part is what's right in front of you. The hard part is learning how to hold the title to your very existence, to own not only property, but also your life. The hard part is learning not just how to be but mastering the nearly impossible art of how to be at home. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

For my part, if I'm working while flying, I'm often a bit relieved to be forced to shut down the computer on final descent. But I guess I'm a slacker. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

When I was a teenager, her habit of cramming a bunch of words into one line, plus the way her lyrics tend to start with small particularities and ripple outward into universal truths, lodged itself into my ears and wound up directly on my pages. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Being taken down a few pegs is humbling. Knowing that life is not easy or fair is humbling. Receiving a great honor - well, that would be called an honor. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I work really hard not to have a kitsch tone to any of my work, particularly radio stuff, which sometimes goes in that direction on certain programs. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I've always been interested in this notion of what is authentic and how we define that and why our culture imposes certain emotions and emotional constraints onto experiences. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

At some point in my early forties I realized that my primary goal in just about any verbal exchange is to lighten the mood. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I love writing essays and articles, so it's hard for me to resist taking assignments that inevitably pull me away from larger projects. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

We've never been in a time where mothers - parenthood, but particularly motherhood - is so fetishized. There's a whole industry around motherhood and mother-daughter bonds. And certainly when my mother was sick I found there was an incredible expectation for me to tell everybody how we were having this bonding experience and how healing it was. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I think it started to feel like home when I stopped maintaining any pretense that I was ever going to be in the movie business. I went there like many writers - I had a screenplay deal and I would go to these meetings and it was the typical thing. And I hated it. I was not interested in writing screenplays, actually. But I kept feeling like that was what I was supposed to do. It was just this horrible cognitive dissonance. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

To be honored by success is to take your life seriously. To humble-talk about it is to take yourself seriously. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

New York is such a special place. It's really intense for people because they live here when they're young. On top of the energy of the city there's a visceral experience a lot of people have because it's a time in their lives where they're just absorbing a lot. Things take on a significance that they might not otherwise. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

It's odd, then, that in my twenties, despite my devotion to urbanity, I often found myself wrestling with a curiosity about country living that seemed strangely akin to a homophobic person "struggling with same-sex attraction." As much as I wanted to be a creature of the city, as much as I'd organized my entire life around the overpriced, undersized vagaries of Manhattan living, I sometimes found myself wanting desperately to live on a farm, or at least near one. I can't explain this by way of any rational desire; — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I think whatever generation you're in has a nostalgia for the generations past and the generations you weren't in. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

There may well be a few extremists out there somewhere calling for a militant, women-only utopia, but why should this be the definition of 'feminist' when it's already the definition of 'silly'? — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Not everyone in Santa Monica is a well-heeled, juice-cleansing, Prius-driving yogini, but for better or worse, that is the city's dominant chord. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Though I probably shouldn't admit this, the activities and pursuits in which I've achieved any measure of success are, without exception, activities and pursuits that came easily to me from the beginning. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

If anything, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a generic romance cynically engineered to appeal to the lowest common denominator of female fantasy. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I started off doing fiction in 1993. It didn't occur to me to do nonfiction because it wasn't a thing yet. So I was bumbling around, writing short stories, and then I took a nonfiction workshop, and I realized that this was what I was supposed to do. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Let's face it: every campus has its share of students who can't quite comprehend that extreme political correctness is often born of the same intolerance and anti-intellectualism as standard-issue bigotry. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

We don't want privacy so much as privacy settings. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I was just 13 when 'The Big Chill' was released in late September 1983, so I didn't catch all of its nuances when I sneaked into the theater to see it. But I could tell one thing for sure: These people were grown-ups. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

What I miss is the feeling that nothing has started yet, that the future towers over the past, that the present is merely a planning phase for the gleaming architecture that will make up the skyline of the rest of my life. But what I forget is the loneliness of all that. If everything is ahead then nothing is behind. You have no ballast. You have no tailwinds either. You hardly ever know what to do, because you've hardly done anything. I guess this is why wisdom is supposed to be the consolation prize of aging. It's supposed to give us better things to do than stand around and watch in disbelief as the past casts long shadows over the future. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

We use our gadgets for distraction and entertainment. We use them to avoid work while giving the impression that we're actually working hard. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

The reason it was so bruising when someone said I was from a rich family is that, like many of us, I'm deeply invested - probably overly so - in the myth of my own self-creation. I like to believe that I got where I am, such as it is, by working hard and charting my own course. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

There are many controversial issues in contemporary American politics where, in spite of my strong feelings, I have the ability to understand and respect the other side. But the notion that we could ever pretend women have real equality in this country when a man as uninformed about basic reproductive gynecology as Mr. Todd Akin could take away my right to decide whether I want to spend a minimum of eighteen years and an average of $235,000 raising a child - not to mention the significant cost to my own dreams and goals or the myriad ways my child might ultimately suffer for my having been denied the ability to make that choice, the ways so many children suffer every day at the hands of their frustrated, stultified mothers - is an absurdity. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Going back to the missed-disco opportunities or forgone pleasures argument, this would be entirely valid if we were discussing the reasons I've never had a dog. Whereas it's never even occurred to me to have a child, I would love to have a dog but am put off by the burden of responsibility involved. And while not having a child is a source of pleasure, not having a dog is a source of constant torment and endless anxiety for my wife and me. We keep wishing that we could arrange our lives in such a way that it was possible to have a dog, but we keep coming up empty-handed, empty-pawed. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Few targets of ridicule are as easy to hit as owners and handlers of competitive show dogs. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

There's this tradition of women's magazines - which have been my bread and butter as a freelancer - where the paradigm is that the writing is about relationships, body image, lessons, and it's always redemptive. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I have a distinct memory, dating back to 1989 or so, of sitting around with my college dorm mates talking about a new term that was popping up everywhere: 'political correctness.' — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Writers are the ones who figure out how to put their observations into words. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

But a dog confers status on a man. It shows he is responsible and capable of love. It will probably even help him get laid. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

If you do the things you enjoy and are good at, I really have a feeling that that will lead to having a fulfilling life, and people with fulfilling lives are able to be 'good people.' — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I've always been a late bloomer in some ways, and extremely precocious in other ways. When I was twenty I was living in New York and working a job and could barely bother to be a college student and had my own apartment, but I couldn't possibly get married before I was thirty-nine. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

It's about time we stop mistaking self-knowledge for self-absorption - and realize that nobody has a monopoly on selfishness. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

There's more than one way to be a person. Actually, there are more than two or three ways. You'd think that was obvious, but I find that often it is not. The world is essentially a collection of teams. Life is a process of deciding which ones we're going to join. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

it often takes a long time for women to "get into" taking care of themselves, and that her need for autonomy was as much about basking in her hard-won self-actualization as it was a reaction to the exhaustion that comes with tending to a child's every need. These days, as I enter my forties, I find that I am only now beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin, to find the wherewithal to respect my own needs as much as others', to know what my emotional and physical limits are, and to confidently, yet kindly, tell others no. (No, I cannot perform that job; no, I cannot meet you for coffee; no, I cannot be in a relationship in which I feel starved for emotional and physical connection.) — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Social media, despite its reputation as the ultimate agent of self-promotion, actually feeds on self-loathing. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Children can be wicked, insane, insufferable little shits. And yet I love them. I love them - especially the small ones - because of the way their emotions dance and glow on the surface for all to see. They have neither the guile nor the wile to hide how they feel. Very quickly, you know who they really are. (Rosemary Mahoney) — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

People who choose not to have kids do so because they respect the job of parenting so much that they know not to take it on if they know it's not something that they're up for, and I don't know what to be a bigger tribute to parenting than that. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Before digital and mobile communications effectively tethered us to an invisible, infinite 'wire,' even those with the most hectic schedules were usually willing to answer the phone if they happened to be home when it rang. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I loved 'About Schmidt'. I like Alexander Payne's work a lot. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Like a physically beautiful but otherwise rather dull person who trades on his or her looks, Southern California swings perpetually between a profound inferiority complex and an equally profound sense of entitlement. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I always tell writers that it's good to have an area of expertise. It's a really practical answer, I know, but know about science or about sports or about medicine, so you can work as a science writer or a sports writer. Don't just know about yourself. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I think people seem to want to read pieces that are shorter but not as short as the pieces they can read in small bites on the Internet. It may be that the sort of long essays are hitting a sweet spot between the tiny morsels online and the full-length book. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

People who grew up before the blogosphere, I just think that your brain is wired differently. I feel like in some ways my sensibility is aligned with people twenty years older than me than somebody six years younger. Because there was a sort of cutoff. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I feel that I'm an essayist and that my best work gets done in that form. I wanted to do a book where the essays could exist on their own terms. A book that was neither a book of essays that were shoehorned into a memoir, nor [one where] the essays had been published elsewhere first, [because] then they would kind of bear the marks of those publications. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

My childhood was so inconsistent that I never expected normalcy, and it's enough for me to be able to have time and space to be good to myself and the people around me. Children are nice, but I decided to save myself instead. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I have bougainvillea and a magnolia tree outside my window. Not that anything will ever beat the view I had from my desk window in my little farmhouse in Nebraska. Just a dirt road stretching out as far as you could see, with prairie grass on either side. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

When you talk of not wanting children, it is impossible to avoid sounding defensive, like you're trying to prove the questionable beauty of a selfish and too-tidy existence. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Analyzing data from 79 men and women who wore inconspicuous devices that recorded some of their conversations over the course of four days, researchers from Washington University and the University of Arizona found a correlation between feelings of well-being and the amount of time spent talking every day. Moreover, the more substantive your conversations, the happier you're likely to be. In other words, heart-to-hearts trump small talk. (LA Times, "A lof of happy talk", March 11, 2010, A21.) — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

In the history of the world, a whole story has never been told. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Posting a brag, humble or otherwise, and then waiting for people to respond is the equivalent of having a conversation in which all you do is wait for your turn to speak. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

My goal in life is to be content. By that I don't mean "fine" or "basically satisfied." I don't mean settling. I mean, for last of better terms, feeling like I'm in the right life. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Nothing ever begins when you think it does. You think you can trace something back to its roots but roots by definition never end. There's always something that came before: soil and water and seeds that were born of trees that were born of yet more seeds. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Old-fashioned girl that I am, I still have a landline, though it rarely rings - and when it does, especially without warning, there's rarely anything good on the other end. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

A typical day in my writing life starts with looking at pictures of real estate online for at least 20 minutes. If I happen to be actually in the market for a house, I do this for 40 minutes. Then I walk my dog, come back home, and tell myself I can look at real estate for another five minutes. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Maybe learning how to be out in the big world isn't the epic journey everyone thinks it is. Maybe that's actually the easy part. The hard part is what's right in front of you. The hard part is learning how to hold the title to your very existence, to own not only property, but also your life. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

In other words, when women acquire critical skills and starting weighing their options they soon wise up to the fact that they're not getting enough recompense for their labors. In trade union terms, you'd call it a production slowdown ... — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

If the desire to have children is just a way to build some noisy tribe of distraction around oneself, then I'd rather be alone. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

L.A. is a constellation of microclimates and microcosms, a library with dozens of special collections. A 20-minute drive can bring a temperature change of 15 degrees. Crossing an intersection can feel like crossing a national border. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

The idea of loving someone no matter what they do is overrated, not to mention largely impossible. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

The right way to win is to recognize that winning isn't the end game, but rather the beginning of new opportunities - maybe even opportunities to help other people win. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I always lamented that I wasn't a writer during the late '60s and the early '70s, with the New Journalism and Tom Wolfe and Hunter Thompson and all those people. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I don't keep a diary or a journal. Sometimes I'll send emails to friends, and that's a way of recording what I was thinking at any given time. But I've never been a journal keeper. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

As a mentor and an advocate, I've seen no end to the ways that childless people can contribute to the lives and well-being of kids - and adults, for that matter. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

As with 'feminism,' not to mention 'liberalism' and 'conservatism,' 'political correctness' tends to mean what you want it to mean, which also pretty much amounts to utter meaninglessness. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Just as I never liked bumper stickers - even though I do brake for animals, and if I had a kid, she would definitely be an honor student - I don't like the idea of expressing my views through social-media-controlled rainbow-or-anything-else-ification. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

It is important for children to grow up in a world where there are all kinds of adults and role models around them, for them to know it's not just parents and people who are parents that care about them, but that there are people who are living other kinds of lives. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

What amazes me is when I see people in their twenties who have families or live a life that seems of a much older person. But that's such a demographic, a socio-economic, cultural, class thing. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Self-esteem, the kind that comes from finding the sweet spot between a healthy fondness for yourself and healthy self-skepticism, tends to get harder to come by the older we get. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I can tell you that the comfort zone has many upsides. It may be associated with sloth and cowardice and any number of paralyzing, irrational phobias. It may be a dark abyss where misunderstood people lie around in fading recliners listening to outdated music. But I'm convinced that, when handled responsibly, the comfort zone can be as useful and productive as a well-oiled industrial zone. I am convinced that excellence comes not from overcoming limitations but from embracing them. At least that's what I'd say if I were delivering a TED Talk. I'd never say such a douchy thing in private conversation. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

For a kid, self-esteem can be as close at hand as a sports victory or a sense of belonging in a peer group. It's a much more complicated and elusive proposition for adults, subject to the responsibilities and vicissitudes of grown-up life. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I love the essay. It's my favorite genre to work in. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Novelty has a way of intensifying memory. The less often you do something, the deeper the memory burrows in. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

It was a challenge for me to do a plot because I'd been an essayist and a journalist. I had to be vigilant about moving things along and being entertaining. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I loved Woody Allen's short pieces. I was equally influenced by Woody Allen and Norman Mailer. I was very into this idea of being high-low, of being serious and intellectual but also making really broad jokes. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

There's a particular kind of single woman whose relationship with her dog has a level of intensity and affection that may be both the cause and the result of her singleness. For a long time, I was that woman. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Checking email every 45 seconds is not only compulsive, it's presumptuous. It suggests a belief that anyone who sends us a message needs us to read it immediately, even if the message is from SkyMall telling us our Bigfoot Garden Yeti statue has shipped. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Becoming a parent is always going to be a default setting. I truly believe there will always be more people who want to have children than who don't. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

We're not handed situations based on our established likes and dislikes; we get what's available. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

Life is mostly an exercise in being something other than what we used to be while remaining fundamentally - and sometimes maddeningly - who we are. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I am weary of happiness, both as a word and as a concept. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

I was enamored of New York City intellectual life and was really into Philip Roth because I was raised by self-loathing Midwesterners who were from southern Illinois, who felt like fish out of water when they came to the East Coast when I was a kid. — Meghan Daum

Daum Quotes By Meghan Daum

No matter where they are or who they're with, dogs are incapable of being anything but themselves. Show me a dog that puts on airs or laughs politely at an unfunny joke and I'll show you a human in a dog costume, possibly one owned and licensed by the Walt Disney Company. — Meghan Daum