Dark Sarcasm Quotes & Sayings

You were dropped as a child, weren't you?" Varen asked her.
"Maybe once or twice," Gwen said, "but at least I wasn't raised by highly literate vampires who, every night just before bed, fed me a steady diet of dark sarcasm and gothic horror fiction."
"Every morning before bed," Varen corrected. Stepping forward, he moved toward the headstone. "We slept during the day. — Kelly Creagh

He said, "If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site." Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil. — Shannon L. Alder

Hello?" I peered into the shadows.
Two green circles flashed in the dark. I yelped, jumping backward and pressing myself against the wall.
"And may I wish a very good morning to you, too, October." The voice was amused, underscored by a chuckle like thick cream. "What happened? Did the prettiest little princess miss her carriage home? — Seanan McGuire

Love everyone; judge no one. — Debasish Mridha

A man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. — E.A. Bucchianeri

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

It had been a little over a year since the last murder; moreover it had been a year since I had run as quickly as legally possible from whom I had been. It had taken almost that long to become a legal adult, get the money straightened out and get my name changed. Who was Abigail? Who was Vera? I felt as though I was neither person. I felt like I wasn't a person at all anymore. — Cassandra Giovanni

Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed. — Gasmaskman

I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night. — Nenia Campbell

We will die with a sword in our hands, not chains on our wings. — Anonymous

Am dining at Goldini's Restaurant, Gloucester Road, Kensington. Please come at once and join me there. Bring with you a jemmy, a dark lantern, a chisel, and a revolver. S. H. It was a nice equipment for a respectable citizen to carry through the dim, fog-draped streets. — Arthur Conan Doyle

All right," she said a little sarcastically. "I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might as well ask, what do you do for fun?"
"I languish in sin," I replied in the same tone. "I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy. — Nenia Campbell

Do not let your problems prevent you from knocking on the doors of possibilities. — Debasish Mridha

Captain? It's ... it isn't dark. I can see just fine." He frowned in confusion and, after a moment, worry. His jaw flexed. "Please tell me you're practicing your sarcasm." "My sarcasm? Why would I do that?" Shaking — Marissa Meyer

I got into acting because I wanted to act and I love acting. That's my true north: to be creative and to be challenged in what I love to do. — Mark Ruffalo

No dark sarcasm, in the classroom. — Roger Waters

Everything's just fucking Disney with you. — Nenia Campbell

Would you like to stand next to me and introduce yourself to the class?' Smiled Mr Zimmerman, the English teacher.
Nope, I would rather turn into bat! Leave me the heck alone. Ughh, why is it teachers ask ' Would you like to?' No teen ever wants to stand in front of strangers and be forced to talk about them.
- Lenore Lee from Whitby After Dark — Stella Coulson

Its deadpan and her sarcasm sailed straight on past each other, strangers passing on a dark road in the night. — Nicole Kornher-Stace

I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death. — Alan Bradley

She knew that the galaxy itself could kill me, that all of me could be shattered and all of her legacy spilled upon the curb like bum wine. And no one would be brought to account for this destruction, because my death would not be the fault of any human but the fault of some unfortunate but immutable fact of "race", imposed upon an innocent country by the inscrutable judgement of invisible gods. The earthquake cannot be subpoenaed. The typhoon will not bend under indictment. They sent the killer of Prince Jones back to his work, because he was not a killer at all. He was a force of nature, the helpless agent of our world's physical laws. This entire episode took me from fear to a rage that burned in me then, animates me now, and will likely leave me on fire for the rest of my days. — Ta-Nehisi Coates

In fact,' said Poirot, 'she stabbed him in the dark, not realising that he was dead already, but somehow deduced that he had a watch in his pyjama pocket, took it out, put back the hands blindly and gave it the requisite dent. — Agatha Christie

If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd. — Shannon L. Alder

If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter."
Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You hunt darkness?"
"Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it." Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

When it rains it pours and when it shines you get melanoma. — Sol Luckman

Why were my visitors so secretive, hiding themselves behind my consciousness. I could only conclude that they were using me and did not want me to know why ... What if they were dangerous? Then I was terribly dangerous because I was playing a role in acclimatizing people to them. — Whitley Strieber

Yeah," Tamara said. "An old bowling alley. There must be a town not too far from here. But how could Aaron be there? And don't say something like 'working on his score' or 'maybe he's in a bowling league' or something like that. Be serious."
Call leaned against the rough bark of a nearby tree and resisted the urge to sit down. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to get up again. "I'm serious. It might be hard to tell in the dark, but I have my most super-serious face on. — Cassandra Clare

He shook his head. "Not a bit of it. When I arrived, I was small and dark and ugly. The perfect quarry for every bully. And then, one day, I grew tired of it. I had discovered that sarcasm and wit could be far more effective than fists. The duller-brained the boy, the more others laughed at my bons mots. And so I became a nasty bit of goods in my own way, fighting with words where I could not fight with fists. — Ashley Gardner

Why should a child's future be shaped by where they are born? — Catherine Marshall

You couldn't find your dick in the dark, you scheming, sleaze-mongering scumwad. — Nenia Campbell

Nothing like an orange and olive green-striped couch sitting on orange carpet and surrounded by dark wood paneling to get the inspiration rolling. — Erynn Mangum

Surely there can be no greater joy than that of saving souls. — Lottie Moon