Daniil Quotes & Sayings

I was most happy when pen and paper were taken from me and I was forbidden from doing anything. I had no anxiety about doing nothing by my own fault, my conscience was clear, and I was happy. This was when I was in prison. — Daniil Kharms

I never think about anything in my brain. I think in very small repetitive circles inside my own brain. That's why I'm a writer. It's the only way I get any sort of conclusion or understanding about anything. — Melissa Febos

I am interested only in "nonsense"; only in that which makes no practical sense. I am interested in life only in its absurd manifestations. — Daniil Kharms

There lived a redheaded man who had no eyes or ears. He didn't have hair either, so he was called a redhead arbitrarily. He couldn't talk because he had no mouth. He had no nose either. He didn't even have arms or legs. He had no stomach, he had no back, he had no spine, and he had no innards at all. He didn't have anything. So we don't even know who we're talking about. It's better that we don't talk about him any more. — Daniil Kharms

Whenever I see a couple dancing, I think I could dance like that - if I were two people. — Jarod Kintz

In golf, advice is not a big thing. If you don't have the ability, you won't get anywhere no matter how much advice you get. The only thing people can suggest that matters is, be a good person and treat people respectfully. But advice on your game doesn't mean much to me. — Angel Cabrera

Pushkin loved to throw rocks. As soon as he saw a rock, he would throw it. Sometimes he became so excited that he stood, all red in the face, waving his arms, throwing rocks, simply something awful.
Pushkin had four sons, all idiots. One didn't even know how to sit in a chair and fell off all the time. Pushkin himself also sat on a chair rather badly. It was simply killing: they sat at the table; at one end, Pushkin kept falling off his chair continually, and at the other end, his son. Simply enough to make one split one's sides with laughter. — Daniil Kharms

It's hard to say something about Pushkin to a person who doesn't know anything about him. Pushkin is a great poet. Napoleon is not as great as Pushkin. Bismarck compared to Pushkin is a nobody. And the Alexanders, First, Second and Third, are just little kids compared to Pushkin. In fact, compared to Pushkin, all people are little kids, except Gogol. Compared to him, Pushkin is a little kid.
And so, instead of writing about Pushkin, I would rather write about Gogol.
Although, Gogol is so great that not a thing can be written about him, so I'll write about Pushkin after all.
Yet, after Gogol, it's a shame to have to write about Pushkin. But you can't write anything about Gogol. So I'd rather not write anything about anyone. — Daniil Kharms

Eleven times Jesus died on the cross, Eleven times falls down a body thrown upward, Eleven times also I abandon the logical flow of thought. — Daniil Kharms

One short man said: "I would give anything if only I were even a tiny bit taller."
He barely said it when he saw a lady magician standing in front of him.
"What do you want?" says the magician.
But the short man just stands there so frightened he can't even speak.
"Well?" says the magician.
The short man just stands there and says nothing. The magician vanishes.
Then the short man started crying and biting his nails. First he chewed off all the nails on his fingers, and then on his toes.

Reader! Think this fable over and it will make you somewhat uncomfortable. — Daniil Kharms

In my experience, desire is desire, love is love. — David Levithan

Parental teaching is a natural duty
who so fit to look to the child's well being as those who are the authors of his actual being? To neglect the instruction of our offspring is worse than brutish. Family religion is necessary for the nation, for the family itself, and for the church of God. — Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Hence the sage puts away excessive effort, extravagance, and easy indulgence. — Lao-Tzu

They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off. — Prince Philip

Is there anything on earth which would have meaning
and would even change the course of events not only on
earth, but in other worlds?" I asked my teacher.
"There is," my teacher answered me.
"Well, what is it?" I asked.
"It's ... " began my teacher and suddenly fell silent.
I stood and waited intently for his answer. But he was
silent.
And I stood and was silent.
And he was silent.
And I stood, silent.
And he was silent.
We're both standing and silent.
Ho-la-la!
We're both standing and silent.
Ho-le-le!
Yes, yes, we're both standing and silent!
16-17 July 1937 — Daniil Kharms

The idea for the Guild first came up at a party. Your father and I met there and, well, I suppose that's a story all its own. But we were both frustrated by the media at the time. We set out to tell the truth when everyone else seemed set on choosing sides. We had grand ideas about how far we could reach. ... Back then, we knew we should be careful, but we had no idea how dangerous it would turn out to be. — Sonny And Ais

You know, Bo, there is a feeling, in that instant following some life-changing tragedy, that you can actually step back over that sliver of time and stop the horror from coming. But that feeling is a lie, because in the tiniest microminisecond after any event occurs, it is as safe in history as Julius Caesar. Data in the universal computer is backed up as it happens. — Chris Crutcher

They were magnificent all right, with the magnificence that can only grow in the ground of great foolishness. — Orna Ross

One must write poetry in such as way that if one threw the poem in a window, the pane would break. — Daniil Kharms

Luce is different now. She's-" He could almost smell her.Clean, pure light, like sunshine. "Something fundamental has shifted.We finally have a real chance. And I-I have never been more elated ... nor more sick with terror." He opened his eyes and was surprised to see Daniil nod.
"Daniel?"
"Yes?"
"What are you waiting for?" Daniil asked with a smile. "Go get her."
And with that,Daniel teased open a shadow along the roof ledge-an Announcer-and stepped inside. — Lauren Kate

Open this notebook every day and write down half a page at the very least. If you have nothing to write down, then at least, following Gogol's advice, write down that today there's nothing to write. Always write with attention and look on writing as a holiday. — Daniil Kharms

He held up his hand and spread his fingers. "Today I stared at my hand for an hour. Then I turned into a dragon and stared at my claw. Do you know why?"
"You have gone insane?"
"Marina's fingers fit perfectly between the fingers of my hand when I am a man. When I was a dragon she would snuggle up to my talons, fit herself into my claw and kiss it sweetly, as if one wrong move wouldn't disembowel her." He smiled at Daniil when he rolled his eyes. "She is terrified of losing me. I didn't realize that until today. — Penelope Fletcher

Wordlessly they settled on a third-story ledge near Patriarch's Pond, of the roof across from Luce's window, where they used to watch her sleep. The memory would be fresher in Daniil's mind, but the faint recollection of Luce lying dreaming under the covers still sent a warm rush across Daniel's wings.
Both were somber.In the bombed-out city, it was sad and ironic that her building had been spared when she hadn't. They stood in silence in the cold night,both carefully tucking back their wings so that they wouldn't accidentially touch. — Lauren Kate

The man opposite, divided between anger and relief at the stripping away of his defenses, his nerves jangling, was taken utterly aback by the extraordinary beauty of Hilary's eyes without their glasses, by their keen, straight glance, by the enveloping warmth of his utterly happy yet rather deprecating smile. The immense power of his goodwill, together with his personal humility, made a sudden unexpected appeal that got right under Malony's guard before he knew where he was. He wasn't out to do you good, this chap - he didn't think enough of himself for that - he was simply out to jog along beside you for a little, and pass the time of day, knowing you were down on your luck, and thinking a bit of companionship might not come amiss. — Elizabeth Goudge

Then the Announcer would transform: into a screen through which to glimpse the past-or into a portal through which to step.
This Announcer was sticky,but she soon pulled it apart,guided it into shape. She reached inside and opened the portal.
She couldn't stay here any longer. She had a mission now: to find herself alive in another time and learn what price the Outcasts had referred to, and eventually,to trace the origin of the curse between Daniel and her.
Then to break it.
The others gasped as she manipulated the Announcer.
"When did you learn how to do that?" Daniil whispered.
Luce shook her head. Her explanation would only baffle Daniil.
"Lucinda!" The last thing she heard was his voice calling out her true name.
Strange,she'd been looking right at his stricken face but hadn't seen her lips move. Her mind was playing tricks.
"Lucinda!" he shouted once more, his voice rising in panic,just before Luce dove headfirst into the beckoning darkness. — Lauren Kate

Authors I've longed to write like - but realize I actually can't even begin to - include Poe, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Kafka, Daniil Kharms, Witold Gombrowicz, Emily Dickinson, Robert Walser, Barbara Comyns, Ntozake Shange, Camille Laurens, Zbigniew Herbert, and Jose Saramago. — Helen Oyeyemi