Cute Iphone Wallpaper Quotes & Sayings

So,' he says. 'When's the big day? Have you set a date yet?'
'What?' I startle. 'For what?'
'For the day you're going to stop being such a dumbass,' he says shooting me a sharp look.
'Oh.' I cringe. Kick at the air. 'Yeah, that'll probably never happen.'
'Yeah, you're probably right.'
'Shut up. — Tahereh Mafi

There was never any comfortable way to mention or discuss one's successes without breaking the rule against bragging, even if one didn't mean to. — Lois Lowry

When you're washing up, pray. Be thankful that there are plates to be washed; that means there was food, that you fed someone, that you're lavished care on one or more people, that you cooked and laid the table. ...
There are women who say: "I'm not going to do the washing up let the men do it." Fine, let the men do it if they want to, but that has nothing to do with equality ... I'd be accused of working against the feminist cause. Nonsense! As if washing up or wearing a bra or having someone open or close a door could be humiliating to me as a woman. The fact is, I love it when a man opens the door for me. ... in my soul is written: "I'm being treated like a goddess. I'm a queen. — Paulo Coelho

Consultant: an ordinary guy more than 50 miles from home. — Eric Sevareid

Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work. — Dave Barry

This regionalization is in keeping with the Tri-Lateral Plan which calls for a gradual convergence of East and West, ultimately leading toward the goal of one world government. National sovereignty is no longer a viable concept. — Zbigniew Brzezinski

When somebody wants to work and believes in something, it doesn't matter if you're well known or rich or whatever it is. — Manolo Blahnik

There is absolutely no such thing as reading but by a candle. We have tried the affectation of a book at noon-day in gardens, and in sultry arbours, but it was labor thrown away. Those gay motes in the beam come about you, hovering and teasing, like so many coquets, that will have you all to their self, and are jealous of your abstractions. By the midnight taper, the writers digests his meditations. By the same light we must approach to their perusal, if we would catch the flame, the odour. — Charles Lamb

(to father) Aren't you glad that you've never had to buy vegeterian cookery books as the first small step on the road to getting inside someone's knickers?
(father) ... however vegeterian recepies you have read, you still have more fun than we were ever allowed. — Nick Hornby

I take Democrats to bed with me for lack of a dachshund, although as a matter of fact on occasions like this I am almost certain to be visited by the ghost of Fred, my dash-hound everlasting, dead these many years. In life, Fred always attended the sick, climbing right into bed with the patient like some lecherous old physician, and making a bad situation worse. — E.B. White