Customer Funny Quotes & Sayings

It's like when you're on hold and a recorded voice comes on telling you how much the company values you as a customer. Really? Then maybe you should hire some more support people so I don't have to wait thirty minutes to get help. — Jason Fried

I had placed my stick on the table, as I do every evening. It had been specially made to suit my height, to enable me to walk without too much difficulty. As I was standing up, a customer called to me: 'Monsieur, don't forget your pencil.' It was very unkind, but most funny. — Henri De Toulouse-Lautrec

A customer facing crucial decisions:
What should I wipe myself with? What should I brush with? His personal hygiene was deteriorating rapidly as he stared at the rows of possibilities, sweating profusely. Would he ever bathe again? — Benson Bruno

Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3 — Randy Glasbergen

I didn't go to college, but if I did, I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant, 'cause 'The customer is always right.' — Mitch Hedberg

They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail. — Sophie Kinsella

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed. — John Cleese

As a young designer explained to me bluntly: "Everyone upstairs is dumb," referring to the floor above the engineering lair at the 156 University office where customer support, administrators and salespeople sat. My first impulse was to laugh at his ridiculous, blithe dismissiveness, until I realized that it wasn't very funny. — Katherine Losse