Creepily Dictionary Quotes & Sayings

To come across as younger than they are: Women buy creams that promise to slow aging; men buy fast cars. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

(Doc) Cramer told me I was hitting too much off the front foot and that I wasn't using the right kind of bat. I had been using a long, skinny stick and Cramer got me a thicker one. — Nellie Fox

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it. — Jonathan Swift

I constantly see old people flushed and excited by the prospect of some anticipated pleasure which altogether fails to ruffle the tranquillity of their serene grandchildren. Are we, I wonder, quite such genuine boys and girls now as our seniors were in their time? Has the great advance in education taken rather too long a stride; — Wilkie Collins

The accumulation of great wealth is, in many instances, the effect of paying too little for the labor that produced it, the consequence of which is that the working people perish in old age and the employer abounds in affluence. — Thomas Paine

Whatever is preached to us, and whatever we learn, we should still remember that it is man that gives, and man that receives; it is a mortal hand that presents it to us, it is a mortal hand that accepts it. — Michel De Montaigne

I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars ... within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch. — Mark Twain

One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird sigh when you sat down on it. I'm not a germaphobe or anything like that, but it is weird to think about all the ass time this seat had seen before we moved in. This is a horrible invention. What's the plan? You want to create a toilet seat so comfortable that you can fall asleep while you're taking a shit? You're going to show up late for work or end up like Elvis. — Adam Carolla

How terrible to be a god of change and endure grief unending. — N.K. Jemisin