Crap Mother Quotes & Sayings

Which is mightily ironic since one of the most common criticisms of American women novelists (it's a load of crap but it gets bandied about a good bit) is that they don't write the "big" stories about "universal" or "worldly" concepts ... Jesus. Um, when we do? We get told to get back in the kitchen and bedroom - go back to writing about love-y wife-y mother-y things. — Lidia Yuknavitch

My mother was about three feet from Pooka. She threw herself forward, grabbed hold of his shirt, and they both went down to the ground. They rolled around a little and by the time I reached them, my mother was on top, punching Pooka in the face. "She's beating the crap out of him," Lula said. "Way to go, Mrs. P. — Janet Evanovich

Well he didn't treat my mother very well. He did some horrible things."
"Like ... " I hesitated. "Blood-whore things?"
"Like beating-her-up kinds of things" he replied flatly.
"Oh God," I said "That's horrible. And she ... she just let it happen?"
"She did." The corner of his mouth turned into a sly, sad smile. "But I didn't"
"Tell me, tell me you beat the crap out of him"
His smile grew, "I did. — Richelle Mead

I don't know who it is, probably some geek - said that when a female gets to a certain age, all her sexuality goes. She's not a vital person anymore. If you're somebody's mother you're not vital. This is such crap, because you're still a person. You still have all the things that you came into childbearing with and all that kind of stuff. — Pat Benatar

Menoeceus wants his father. (Astrid)
Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It's all right, Bob. Daddy's got you now. I'm saving you from Mommy's bad naming taste. I'd be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot. (Zarek) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to. — Pamela Anderson

I know the mall is just a lot of fake plants and fake food and people buying crap for too much money, and at Christmas people pay for their kids to talk to Santa, learning greed the way some kids learn piano. I know all that. I can hear the Muzak, smell the waffle fries. Like everybody else, I walk around stuck inside a cliche, like we're stars of some TV show we plan to watch later, if nothing else is on. But still, there's something hopeful about this place, too, and maybe it takes having a crazy mother to get that. People buy stuff, because they think they are going to need it, because they think their lives are going to keep skipping down the same old path, and I want so much for that to be true for them that it nearly makes me cry. The mall says, Nothing is terrible. The mall says, Life is small and adequate. — Heather Hepler

I don't give a crap what happened between you and Xcor - mother to mother, I care only about you and the babies. And my husband will see my point of view. Trust me." Layla — J.R. Ward

Look, no one wants to hear that maybe she's the reason her mother flew the coop. But my advice to you is to put this behind you. File it away in the drawer that's saved for all the other crap that isn't fair, like how the Kardashians are famous and how good-looking people get served faster at restaurants and how a kid who can't skate to save his life winds up on the varsity hockey team because his dad is the coach. — Jodi Picoult

Sometimes, in the stillness of my room, my mom's voice came to me, repeating things she'd said for months. Like, "My skin is melting off my face, isn't it?" And, "My whole body feels dead from the crap they're pouring into me. Do I look green to you?" And, "When I'm naked, I can see my heart beating. — Laura Anderson Kurk

I never wanted to be a mother, and when I got the show I was really upset. I was like "I'm not sexy anymore!" The more you become a mom, you're not sexy, which of course is crap. But that's the way actors look at it. Of course, that's not true now. But everybody expects you to look differently and act differently. — Jackee Harry

It's his mother's birthday? But he didn't tell me. I don't have a card. I don't have a gift. How could he do this to me?
Men are crap. — Sophie Kinsella

Uh-oh,' said Gazzy, but Angel was so nauseated she didn't have time to leap to a safe distance, or grab a gas mask
Bbbbbrrrrrrrttthhhhhhttttttt.
'Mother of God, no!' Total cried, doing a fast belly-crawl to the pool and throwing himself in. 'You said it wasn't your digestive system!'
'What was that?' Dylan asked. He winced and threw an arm oer his nose and mouth.
...
'Sorry,' Gazzy said miserably, but he couldn't help a tiny grin.
Nudge was clawing at a stack of towels to cover her face.
'Nice one, Gaz,' said Iggy.
...
'Wait-that was Gazzy? Is that why you call him ... Oh, crap,' Dylan said weakly. — James Patterson

Are you certain they aren't?"
Rose looked for a delicate way to put it.
"Doing the horizontal mumbo?"
Tyler laughed at the look the other two women gave her.
This was her mother, after all. "Mother spent too many years with a man who treated her like crap. She was lonely even when she wasn't alone. If Doctor Yum-Yum could coax her into bed, I'd say more power to her and way to go, Mom! — Mary J. Williams

I do have one regret though. I wish Kathy Acker was still alive. I wish I could go swim with her again. My literary indebtedness to her is enormous. She's a more important mother to me than anyone can possibly imagine. In language I became a daughter worth a crap because of her. In language I redefined daughter, woman, I became a writer. Dora is an homage of sorts. — Lidia Yuknavitch

Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There's genocide, war, corruption. Every fucking day, somewhere in the world, somebody sacrifices his life to save someone else. Every fucking day, someone, somewhere makes a conscious decision to destroy someone else. People find love, people lose it. For Christ's sake, a child watches her mother beaten to death on the steps of a church. Someone goes hungry. Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman. If you can't find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don't know crap about life. And why the FUCK are you wasting my two precious hours with your movie? I don't have any use for it. I don't have any bloody use for it. — Charlie Kaufman

Chloe. Always Chloe with him and his brother. I know I sound like a whiny brat when I complain, but I think I have a good reason. I'd just discovered that I was a witch and my mother was a bitch - the murderous kind. I was now on the run with three kids who didn't want me along.
No matter how hard I tried to keep up and help out, the guys only cared about Chloe. If I ran in front of this bus to push her to safety, they'd race to her side to see if she was okay. Probably give me crap for bruising her when I shoved her out of the way. — Kelley Armstrong

I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead. — Jenny Eclair

The crazy thing is, Mother, after more than twenty years of this crap, down at the bottom of my heart, where it ought to be the darkest, I think there's still this spark of love for you. It may be pity, I'm not sure, but it hurts enough to be love. — Dean Koontz

Menoceus wants his father."
"Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It's all right Bob. Daddy's got you now. I'm saving you fromMommy's bad naming taste. I'd be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot."
"Menoeceus is a great name."
"For an old man or a feminine hygeine product. Not for my son. And next time I get to name the kid and it won't be something that sounds like meningitis. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I jumped at the sound of Drake's voice. "You scared the crap out of me! Where did you come from?"
He raised his eyebrows, "From what I learned in Anatomy, I came from my Mother. But if you are refering to just now, through the door. — K.A. Robinson

Crap. I thought that picture was you.' He pointed.
'That's not me. That's my mother,' Mal said with a sigh.
'Woah, you really do look like her, you know,' Jay said.
'You two could be twins,' Evie agreed.
'That, my friends, is called genetics,' Carlos said with a smile. — Melissa De La Cruz

My mother worked for the social services all her life. She always said that in the middle of all the crap, in the thick of it all, you always had a sunny story turning up. Which makes it all worthwhile.' The next words that come are smiling. 'You're my sunny story, Britt-Marie. — Fredrik Backman

My mother taught me not to take any crap from anyone and to stand up for my rights. You might not believe this lesson came from a tiny Japanese woman, but it's true. — Guy Kawasaki

Sorry I was bitchy," I managed to say.
"You had cause, honey."
"My mother's awful."
"Yeah." He wiggled my toes individually. His voice was steam-blended and soft. "That advice she gave you was crap, by the way."
"You heard that? Oh, God."
"You should give me everything I want," Jack informed me. "You should spoil me rotten. And it's too late to play dumb, and you're cute as hell without makeup."
I smiled, my eyes still closed. "What about my glasses?"
"Definite turn-on."
"Everything's a turn-on for you," I said languidly.
"Not everything." Laughter thickened his voice.
"Yes. You're like one of those pharmaceutical commercials where they warn about four-hour erections. You need to go see your doctor."
"I don't find him all that attractive. — Lisa Kleypas

You think I like this?" I say defensively. "Trust me, I don't need this headache in my life." I swallow a mouthful of beer. "Hey. You know Twilight?" He blinks. "Excuse me?" "Twilight. The vampire book." His wary eyes study my face. "What about it?" "Okay, so you know how Bella's blood is extra special? Like how it gives Edward a raging boner every time he's around her?" "Are you fucking with me right now?" I ignore that. "Do you think it happens in real life? Pheromones and all that crap. Is it a bullshit theory some horndog dreamed up so he could justify why he's attracted to his mother or some shit? Or is there actually a biological reason why we're drawn to certain people? Like goddamn Twilight. Edward wants her on a biological level, right?" "Are you seriously dissecting Twilight right now?" God, I am. This is what Allie has reduced me to. A sad, pathetic loser who goes to a bar and forces his friend to participate in a Twilight book club. — Elle Kennedy

If you killl yourself, Comorra, it will wreck him. Utterly. Believe me on this one. So there you go - there's another casualty of war. And sure, in the grand scheme of things, whoop-dee-doo, who gives a crap about some dude's broken heart. But what about the not-so-grand scheme? Doesn't love count for something? Do you think all this ... this carnage would have happened if the Romans hadn't taken Prasutagus away from your mother? If she hadn't been so blinded by grief maybe she would have found a way to work things out with the governor instead of goading him to war." Clare shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe two people alone in the darkness can't generate enough light to drive it back. But maybe they can be a beacon for others. A candle in the window at midnight, you know? I mean, they can at least be there for each other, right? — Lesley Livingston

Do you think it happens in real life? Pheromones and all that crap. Is it a bullshit theory some horndog dreamed up so he could justify why he's attracted to his mother or some shit? — Elle Kennedy