Quotes & Sayings About Coupons

Well," he said, "this isn't too bad. My left leg is broken, but at least I'm right-legged. That's pretty fortunate."
"Gee," one of the other employees murmured. "I thought he'd say something more along the lines of 'Aaaaah! My leg! My leg!'"
"If someone could just help me get to my foot," Phil said, "I'm sure that I can get back to work."
"Don't be ridiculous," Violet said. "You need to go to a hospital."
"Yes, Phil," another worker said. "We have those coupons from last month, fifty percent off a cast at the Ahab Memorial Hospital. Two of us will chip in and get your leg all fixed up. I'll call for an ambulance right away. — Lemony Snicket

You know, young lady, it wouldn't hurt you to smile at your customers and thank them when they offer you their coupons. I don't think I've ever had such poor customer service. I don't have to shop here, especially with this kind of attitude. She was working herself up into a rage, her expression full of self-righteous indignation. — Rose Wynters

I do not doubt that services like social games and coupons bring delight to people's lives, and I mean no disrespect to the hard work that has made them possible. But in the face of threats to humanity's future on the one hand and the extraordinary potential of mankind on the other, at some point we must ask: are we capable of more? — Justin Rosenstein

How could a person have and do all these stupid things
clip coupons and double lock the front door
and then one day just cease to exist? — J. Courtney Sullivan

The company will guess what you habitually buy, and then try to convince you to get it at Target. The firm has the capacity to personalize the ads and coupons it sends to every customer, even though you'll probably never realize you've received a different flyer in the mail than your neighbors. — Charles Duhigg

I guess I showed certain signs of being a workaholic in early years; I had a magazine route very early on - I must have been about seven or eight years old or something like that - when I was carrying Liberty magazine, trying to win green and brown coupons; I eventually [won] a pony. — Walter Cronkite

For thirty-two years I went shopping with my coupon box in tow
without ever seeing another consumer with either a coupon box or
binder. Not once. I spotted small coupon wallets that fit in a purse
or envelopes of coupons, but never a box or binder. By early 2011,
I was beginning to see women with coupon binders everywhere I
went. All of a sudden, couponing was hot. It was as if couponing
was a totally new concept, and yet coupons had been around for
over 125 years. — Mary Potter Kenyon

Despite their inherent messiness, consumers aren't about to
give up on a mode of savings that is so much under their control.
Afer all, the price savings from a coupon is guaranteed to go
directly to the consumer using it. A coupon can allow a consumer
to purchase brand-name products at the same, or sometimes even
a lower price, than a store brand. And only the coupon-using consumer
obtains those benefits. — Mary Potter Kenyon

No, we're not getting married," I told my mother on the phone when she asked. "He's going to California and I'm staying here." Usually she doesn't phone. Usually she just does things like send me notes with histrionic scrawlings that read, "Well, you know, I can't use these," and along with the notes she encloses coupons for Kotex or Midol. — Lorrie Moore

Compulsive? I lived and breathed refunding, and my children
benefited with their wide variety of toys, balls, and T-shirts
I obtained through my hobby. It was all a big game, and one that
I played well. And I was not alone. While there was no estimate
available on the number of people who were involved in refunding,
Carol Backs, publisher of Money Maker magazine in the
late 1980s and chairman of a trade association of refund magazine
publishers, claimed that refund magazines were selling eight
hundred thousand to one million subscriptions. — Mary Potter Kenyon

I daydream - and get paid for it. I recall a scene from An Officer and a Gentleman. At the end of the movie Richard Gere, dressed in his naval whites, goes into a factory, picks up Debra Winger, and carries her out of that depressing place with all of those dirty machines.
I wish that would happen to me. Of course the whole time I'd be worried that the guy was trying to guess my weight or something. I realize how truly pathetic I am. Some guy in a uniform drags his woman out of the workplace to stick her in a house to cook and possibly even clip coupons, and I am staring to buy into it, into the anti-female propaganda disguised as romance. As soon as he picks her up, things have to head south from there, because at some point, he has to put her down. — Jill A. Davis

The Lone Star Card will make food stamp coupons obsolete. — John Sharp

I clip coupons all the time. Why should you pay more for something that someone else is paying less for? — Sarah Michelle Gellar

When you think of couponing, you picture a mom cutting coupons out of the back of the newspaper. — Andrew Mason

The onset of adulthood is an organic, creeping process. No one wakes up one day and decides, Lo, on this day I shall forever put away childish things and begin clipping coupons to go to Wal-Mart. — David Carr

The mail was junk: a couple of furniture catalogs, a credit card offer, a dead mouse, and a flyer with coupons for 50 percent off the moon. The faceless old woman who secretly lives in her home had censored the credit card offer, using charcoal to blot out entire lines and amounts. Diane looked through the coupons, considering what a great deal it would be if anyone actually wanted the moon. It's a hideous rock, Diane thought. You couldn't pay me to take it. — Joseph Fink

Your body is nothing but an envelope, Karou. Your soul is another matter, and is not, as far as I know, in any immediate danger."
"An envelope?" She didn't like to think of her body as an envelope
something others might be able to open up and rifle through, remove things from like so many clipped coupons.
"I assumed you felt the same way," he'd said. "The way you scribble on it."
Brimstone didn't approve of her tattoos, which was funny, since he was responsible for her first, the eyes on her palms. — Laini Taylor

When I was ten years old I was actually given McDonald's gift certificates for Christmas by my mom. Yes, my own mother. I guess she couldn't find gift certificates for a vending machine. I like to think it was her way of saying, "Merry Christmas. Here are some coupons for poison." McDonald's introduced the gift certificate prior to the obesity epidemic. I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious. — Jim Gaffigan

English literature is a glorious inheritance which is open to all - there are no barriers, no coupons, and no restrictions. In the English language and in its great writers there are great riches and treasures, of which, of course, the Bible and Shakespeare stand along on the highest platform. — Winston Churchill

I worked for Jeff Kelin. He was a marketing genius before his time. Coupons, car rebates and the value meal (as we know it today) all came from his marketing genius. At 19 years old, I had two jobs, one with Andy Warhol, and the second with Jeff Kelin. — Steve Kaufman

You've never been a whiner, Margo."
"I could give lessons.It's time for me to grow up, take responsibility,be sensible."
"Talk to life insurance salesman," Josh said dryly. "Apply for a library card.Clip coupons."
She looked down her nose. "Spoken like a man born with not only a silver spoon but the whole place setting stuck in his arrogant little mouth."
"I happen to have several library cards," he muttered. "Somewhere."
"Do you mind? — Nora Roberts

What is eternity? You're on the checkout line at a supermarket. There are seven people in front of you. They are all old. They all have two carts and coupons for every item. They are all paying by check. None of them have ID. It's the checkout girl's first day on the job. She doesn't speak any English. Take away fifteen minutes from that, and you begin to get an idea of what eternity is. — Emo Philips

We've patented the idea ... of using the address book as a place to declare that you like a brand. By so doing, the brand has now got your permission to send you personal messages - it could be money off offers, coupons, promotions, just information, whatever is appropriate. — Keith Teare

I'm wearing the costume of a customer, and it smells cheap. Can you pass me the coupons, please? — Jarod Kintz

I started taking walks
with my children on trash day just to collect the extra proofs of
purchase. We'd roam the alleys together, stopping at each diaper
box. I learned to swiftly tear the proof of purchase off in a stealth
maneuver I'd refined with practice: pushing the stroller up close
to the box, bending down as if tying my shoe, and ripping off the
qualifier, all in less than thirty seconds. — Mary Potter Kenyon

I don't do coupons or Reeboks. Life is too short to half-step. — Eddie Huang

For the next several years, they gathered critical intelligence on German troop movements, blew up fuel depots, stole Nazi uniforms, and sabotaged lorries. Once, Avi and Jacob were ordered to attack a police station and grab any uniforms they could. They captured two police uniforms, two pistols, a small box of ammunition, and a money box with over ten thousand francs inside. What's more, they escaped with a bonus neither of them had expected - a stash of six thousand food-ration coupons, which they promptly gave to Morry to distribute among the various Jewish Resistance members scattered throughout the country. — Joel C. Rosenberg

You don't know the protocol for any kind of anniversary."
"Fuck you." Cam's mouth slanted into a smirk. "If you're gonna bitch, maybe I should just give you flowers and chocolate next year."
"Beats the blow-job coupons you gave me." Austin grinned wryly,
Austin & Cam — Cara Dee

I can't believe Bourbon & Branch would work with them". Them being Phluttr - makers of the sketchy app that just hijacked their conversation. Ostensibly a social network, Phluttr peppers its users with coupons, recommendations, breaking news, handy info, and jaw-dropping bits of hyperlocal gossip, all of it surgically targeted to the user's interests, location, and/or state of mind. — Rob Reid

Once you realize your worth, you'll stop accepting coupons. — Portia A. Cosby

I find focusing clearly on the problem is the first step to seeing a solution. The problem is (a) the insane amount of time spent raising money from (b) a freakishly tiny proportion of America. Basically .05% are the "relevant funders" of campaigns, meaning candidates can't help but be overly sensitive to the views of that tiny fraction relative to the rest of us. IF that's the problem, THEN the solution is to spread the funders out: to increase the range of us who are the relevant funders of elections, through schemes like vouchers or coupons given to every voter. — Lawrence Lessig

Frankie runs a sex moon and has kids. My head hurts just thinking about it. You still keep up with her, too, then?"
Ryelle's face took on a hunted expression. "She sends me coupons, Declan. — Michelle O'Leary

They'll just cut our wrists like Cheap coupons and say that death Was on sale today. — Marilyn Manson

The best things in life are never rationed. Friendship, loyalty, love do not require coupons. — George Hewitt Myers

I try to do the right thing with money. Save a dollar here and there, clip some coupons. Buy ten gold chains instead of 20. Four summer homes instead of eight. — LL Cool J

I bet you a handful of Chili's coupons that Jesus had a foot fetish. — Corey Taylor

If you're not clipping coupons before going to the grocery store, you're overspending. If you're ordering in or going out to dinner because you don't feel like cooking, you're overspending. If you're not tracking where your money is going, you're very likely overspending. — Jean Chatzky

Old age is having the name of a chiropractor in your wallet. It's cutting out coupons for the zeal of discounted small items and the practice of fine motor skills. — Dominic Smith

Another coupon tacked onto the pile I'll redeem when I get some power in my fucken life. Look around this life and all you see is folks' coupons tacked everywhere, what they'll do if, what they'll do when. Warm anticipation for shit that ain't even going to happen. — D.B.C. Pierre

In the face of postwar austerity, hundreds of brides-to-be across the country sent Princess Elizabeth their clothing coupons so that she could have the dress of their dreams. — Hamish Bowles

Please, God, don't let Warren be cheap. I'm too young to discuss coupons. — Douglas Coupland

Perhaps one of the more creative promotions of all time was
in 1969, when a marketer with the Procter & Gamble Company
came up with the idea of giving away goldfish with each purchase
of a king-size box of Spic and Span. — Mary Potter Kenyon

when i go to bed i go to bed with the lights on"

Every morning I look up at the moon and I think
You are a kiddie-pool and I will drown in you.
I think about field trips and cold cuts.
I think about dividends and other words
I don't understand. I make five hundred
lunches in advance. I want to be prepared.
I want new shoes. I want them to be waterproof
and unforgettable. I want the kind of resume
that takes home all the prizes and a salary
commensurate with thunderstorms. I want to believe
that there are people in this world
whose lives are the size of houses and their bills
are paid on time and when they see birds in the sky they think
that's a nice thing to see. In my free time I clip coupons
and put them in my wallet where I forget
to redeem them and this gnaws at me
day in and day out and when I close my eyes
I can feel my heart and it is trembling. — Sasha Fletcher

I think, and I mean this sincerely, I was raised humbly. We were a lower middle income family and a household that was scrimping by at times. We were watching the dollar, stretching the dollar, and coupons. It was all those things. — Bryan Cranston

Coupons are in high demand, and consumers get them offline, — Joe Waters

People make mistakes all the time. Small ones, like you get in the wrong checkout line. The one with the lady with a hundred coupons and a checkbook.

Sometimes you make medium-sized ones. You go to medical school instead of pursuing you passion.

Sometimes you make big ones.

You give up. — Nicola Yoon

Circles, homework coupons, what foolishness would she next hear? And so she began to teach him mathematics - she called it "maths" and he called it "math — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Other perks of working for Disney are primarily in the form of discounts. The money I've saved through Disney discounts is unbelievable. I remember working at Staples and being excited when they finally gave us a 10% discount, which is nothing compared to what Disney offers. I got up to 60% off hotel rooms, 20-40% off merchandise, 20-40% off dining, a variety of discounts on Disney recreational offerings, 20% off quick service meals at Animal Kingdom and the resorts, and a holiday coupon book which included 30%, 40%, and 50% off meal coupons, free popcorn and soda coupons, free PhotoPass downloads, free rounds of mini golf, and extra park tickets. — Brittany DiCologero

I cut coupons, love specials and believe in buying toilet paper and toothpaste in bulk. It's just who I am. — Hilary Swank

Struggling with my finances, nudging toward 50, I sometimes daydream about being happily married to a matching frugaholic husband in a matching Christmas-red tracksuit with matching walkie-talkies as we troll Ralphs, excitedly comparing triple coupons. — Sandra Tsing Loh

I am always behind the shopper at the grocery store who has stitched her coupons in the lining of her coat and wants to talk about a 'strong' chicken she bought two weeks ago. The register tape also runs out just before her sub-total. In the public restroom, I always stand behind the teen-ager who is changing into her band uniform for a parade and doesn't emerge until she has combed the tassels on her boots, shaved her legs, and recovered her contact lens from the commode. — Erma Bombeck

My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons. — Chris Rock