Coruscating Irony Quotes & Sayings

At different times in my life, I've made grand statements like, 'I want these many kids, and I want them by this age.' I think, with every year that goes by, I accept that I don't know when it's going to happen or how it's going to happen. I'll just take it one day at a time, and when I'm ready, I'll be ready. It'll reveal itself, I guess. — America Ferrera

It's funny what kind of hell you can get used to. — William Lashner

Animals are good to think with. — Claude Levi-Strauss

Though there's something more
tender, beneath our vanity,
our will to become objects
of desire: we sweat the mark
of our presence onto the cloth. — Mark Doty

Tabitha stared at him. "Oliver, do you think your mother and father love you? Do they tell you that?"

He looked embarrassed. "Yes, of course."

Wiping a hand on the side of her apron, Tabitha tapped a finger to Oliver's temple so that her words would stick. "Then they are perfect parents, no matter their shortcomings in understanding. (pg. 222) — Jessica Lawson

The Devil is a master of disguise and takes on many forms. He comes to conquer you, steal your joy, kill your spirit, and destroy your faith. When you are doing right, he attacks you from the left but know that God is all powerful and God is in you and that no weapon formed against you shall prosper. — C.L. Hall

Ippolit Matveevich turned even redder, pulled out a tiny notebook, and wrote in a calligraphic hand:
25/4/1927 - rubles issued to Comrade Bender - 8.
Ostap took a look inside the little book.
'Oh-ho! If you've gone ahead and opened a personal account for me, then the least you could do is tally it right. Start up a debit column, start up a credit column. Don't forget to enter the sixty thousand rubles you owe me in the debits, and the vest can go in the credits. The balance is in my favor: 59,992 rubles. — Ilya Ilf

I'm terrible with my workout regime and following it strictly. I'm terrible with a healthy diet and following it strictly. I'm terrible on the weekends about getting up at reasonable hours and all of those things. But, when it comes to my work and the discipline it takes to get to work on time - I hate unprofessionalism. — Katherine Heigl

Drug cartels have taken the driver's seat, training our young
men and women on how best to self destruct, while the larger
community watches on helplessly as these bands of renegades lead
our people towards the path of self annihilation — Oche Otorkpa

Common Courtesy, like common sense, does not require any level of education or status. Anyone and everyone can participate. But we need to remember we are not like cats with their kitty litter boxes, we are not born with this knowledge, we must be taught by someone. — Mitzi Taylor

Complaisance renders a superior amiable, an equal agreeable, and an inferior acceptable. — Joseph Addison

I
Like
The Way
That when you
Tilt
Poems
On their side
They
Look like
Miniature
Cities
From
A long way
Away.
Skyscrapers
Made out
Of
Words. — Matt Haig