Confusing Comedy Quotes & Sayings

I'm a songwriter who's put my childhood memories and teenage angst into songs. — Paula Cole

I thought 'Garfunkel and Oates' would be too confusing, but it ended up being confusing in the best of ways because the first time we played a comedy club, it was because they thought we were the real Garfunkel and Oates. — Kate Micucci

And I want to thank all the women that support me. I have wonderful support systems from women of all types who seem dedicated to the notion that Terence McKenna can always be improved. I'm extremely grateful for that. The frontiers are enormous in that dimension. — Terence McKenna

You are not going to be what you decide to be; you are going to be
what you decide to be around. — Jack Hyles

Human reason can excuse any evil. — Veronica Roth

from Uppsala, a Swedish city that doesn't interest many people. Even the inhabitants of Uppsala* themselves are embarrassed; the name of their city sounds almost like an excuse. Sweden has the highest suicide rate in the world. — David Foenkinos

Inside my head is a tumble of incoherent screams that sound an awful lot like someone speaking in tongues. Apparently my inner voice is Pentecostal. — Rachel Hollis

The faithfulness of the Lord is so great that no mind can comprehend it, no hand can fold it, no mouth can describe it and no experience can compete with it. All that our hearts will need, His hands will provide! — Israelmore Ayivor

The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true, Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't even forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is fucking confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform. — Dave Chappelle

Revolt is designed to be a home for the next generation of musical artists, and we are investing in the artists and fans of the future. Revolt is for artists, by artists. This won't just be the P. Diddy network. — Sean Combs

Beauty means the scent of roses and then the death of roses — F Scott Fitzgerald