Condom Joke Quotes & Sayings

Chess isn't one of my favorites, it takes a cool calculating hatred to play well, and I'm not good at that. — Lilith Saintcrow

Brady! You can't watch that!"
He looked up at me, his eyebrows furrowed, from his place on the floor. The remote was far away from him, next to the screen, so he couldn't have changed the channel. I snatched it up and hit the information button. "What the hell is a YoGabbaGabba?" I looked back over at Brady and frowned. "Uh, never mind. Go ahead."
Walking with purpose back into the kitchen, I whispered into the receiver. "Okay. No joke, there is a talking, dancing, bright red, studded dildo on the screen. There are other ones that look like him, and I swear to God one is wearing a condom on his head. That's a kids' show?" I looked back into the living room. "Whatever happened to good old-fashioned cartoons? Don't they have good shit like Animaniacs anymore? — Amber L. Johnson

Love passionately.
Love is a great feeling.
Love is joy and happiness. — Lailah Gifty Akita

I have a big fear of change, or negative change, anyway. I'm basically the same person I was when I won 'Idol,' or when I was 10. — Kelly Clarkson

If your data is out there earning money for somebody, you should have a say in it. — Daniel Suarez

Sloughing my skin / escaping it's grip / stripped of my wit / it hurts to be me . — Maggie Stiefvater

Morality doesn't exist in space, only in the spaces between people. — Alex Latimer

Sometimes at night
when the moon is almost
full and my hands go
numb from writing, I cleanse
myself of her poisoned love.
I welcome the water, the
inevitability of
death and embrace
the long painful road out
of love. — A.P. Sweet

What a thing is and what it means are not separate, the former being physical and the latter mental as we are accustomed to believe. — James J. Gibson

If a small town doesn't have a laundromat, and if you open one up, you can be pretty confident you'll have customers. If your laundromat is unique in any way, then perhaps you can scale it. — James Altucher

I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee. — Lewis Black

No one every suddenly became depraved. — Juvenal

Okay. No joke, there is a talking, dancing, bright red, studded dildo on the screen. There are other ones that look like him, and I swear to God one is wearing a condom on his head. That's a kids' show? — Amber L. Johnson

I'm a person who saves things. I'll hold on forever. * — Jenny Han

Never give nor take an excuse. — Florence Nightingale

We are free, but not to be evil, not to be indifferent to human suffering, not to profit from the people, from the work created and sustained through their spirit of political association, while refusing to contribute to the political state that we profit from. — Jose Marti

Sometimes you're a little too close for comfort, and I think anybody can relate to that, whether you're in college or just moving out on your own. — Leighton Meester