Commonwealth Bank Life Insurance Quotes & Sayings

Dear Josh, we stopped by to fuck you but you didn't answer the door. Therefore you are gay.
Sincerely, Tiffany and Amber. — Daniel Clowes

You know, I came to realize that the person that once treated me worse than anybody else, is the person that treats me the best. That the person that I feared more than anyone else has wound up being the person that I trust more than anyone else. That the person I once hated the most has wound up being the person that I've kind of fallen in love with. There's no way in this world i'm going to be disappointed in the person that i'm pretty much in awe of. — J.F. Smith

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle. — Ambrose Bierce

If you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer? — Steve Harvey

But even the wisest of men may die, and that is especially true when the wisest of men has a fondness for industrial chemicals. — Catherynne M Valente

The good news is my almost-boyfriend was ready to pound Eric's face for you."
"Almost-boyfriend? Don't you gays usually move a lot faster than this? I thought you were supposed to shack up together on the second date and adopt a cat so you had something to dress up in a tutu. — Ashlan Thomas

Life is so diversified that to any statement I could make about living organisms there are exceptions. Because of the many exceptions, I should qualify everything I say with hedging phrases such as 'generally,' 'usually,' and 'almost always' But I'm afraid the constant repetition of these hedges will slow me down and bore you. So let's make a pact now that I forego the hedging phrases and you are to understand that almost all my statements may have rare exceptions. — Lee Spetner

Comic books were telling me what life was about. This was how I kind of entered life, through fiction. — Walter Mosley

The Olympics is the biggest competition for all athletes and an unforgettable event. — Kim Yuna

What isn't clear, isn't French. — Antoine De Rivarol

All philosophies and all religions - what are they but spiritual Tubes bored through the universe! Through these narrow tunnels, where all is recognisably human, one travels comfortable and secure, contriving to forget that all round and below and above them stretches the blind mass of earth, endless and unexplored. — Aldous Huxley

A wise man once said that a person is known by
the company he keeps, but could then also add that the character of the
company is known by the people it keeps for the longest days, especially
at the strategic decision making level. — Anuj

I want to breathe you in, every inch of you — Robin Bielman

Any man, however blase or depraved, finds his love kindled anew when he sees himself threatened by a rival. — Honore De Balzac

The final war will be between Pavlov's dog and Schoedinger's Cat. — Robert Anton Wilson