Coming Out Gay Quotes & Sayings

I've got my full rucksack pack and it's spring, I'm going to go Southwest to the dry land, to the long lone land of Texas and Chihuahua and the gay streets of Mexico night, music coming out of doors, girls, wine, weed, wild hats, viva! What does it matter? Like the ants that have nothing to do but dig all day, I have nothing to do but what I want and be kind and remain nevertheless uninfluenced by imaginary judgments and pray for the light. — Jack Kerouac

Being gay wasn't his complete identity, but it felt like an important part of himself. And he wanted to be the one to control who knew. — Ravon Silvius

For the love of God! He howled. Could all of the straight people get out of the fucking closets, please? Gay men coming through! — Kat French

You tell him for me: if he fucks with you, if he lays one Russian knuckle on you, your buddy is coming after him and someone's gonna need a screen door to fish out the pieces. — Damon Suede

I am not in the closet. I am not coming out of the closet. I am not gay. — Oprah Winfrey

I reached for his other hand, which he quickly accepted and I pulled him up into a hug. I didn't know what the other kids in the room were thinking or saying or doing. And I didn't care. I had Jamie in my arms, and that was all the mattered. — Madison Parker

So he was queer, E.M. Forster. It wasn't his middle name (that would be 'Morgan'), but it was his orientation, his romping pleasure, his half-secret, his romantic passion. In the long-suppressed novel Maurice the title character blurts out his truth, 'I'm an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort.' It must have felt that way when Forster came of sexual age in the last years of the 19th century: seriously risky and dangerously blurt-able. The public cry had caught Wilde, exposed and arrested him, broken him in prison. He was one face of anxiety to Forster; his mother was another. As long as she lived (and they lived together until she died, when he was 66), he couldn't let her know. — Michael Levenson

I just wanted ... "
Aaron stepped closer.
"To kiss you good-bye," he finished for Greg. — Tibby Armstrong

This is Doctor Norton. Who's calling?"
"Step N'Wolfe- the owner of the Emerald Cascade Ranch on Green Valley Road. I have a horse in labor and the baby's already coming out of the horse's ass."
"You should of called sooner. — Giorge Leedy

If being queer meant loving Aaron, then he'd own the label, at least internally. — Tibby Armstrong

People at work eyed me with varying degrees of suspicion or approbation, and a couple of them mistook me for the kind of guy who knew twelve different ways to tie a scarf and whether that scarf clashed with their purse. My helpful tip that most accessories were just needless expenses met with disappointment. — Cary Attwell

We actually have some gay people that work with us, and we have a lot of friends that are gay, too, and I know that this song has inspired them ... I know that coming out was tough on their parents and on them and the whole entire family. For a long time, some of them didn't get to hear 'I love you' from their dads or be accepted in that way ... It's helped a lot of our friends ... We don't judge anybody's lives. — Martha Stewart

Did you just tell us you're gay?" Asks Nick
"Yes."
"Okay," he says. Abby swats him. "What?"
"That's all you're going to say? Okay?"
"He said not to make a big deal out of it," Nick says. "What am I supposed to say?"
"Say something supportive. I don't know. Or awkwardly hold his hand like I did. Anything"
Nick and I look at each other.
"I'm not holding your hand," I tell him, smiling a little.
"All right"--he nods--"but know that I would. — Becky Albertalli

Gay culture is in a coming-out process of its own. From out of the closets in the '60s, the culture moved onto the disco floors of the '70s and through the hospital wards of the '80s and onwards to the streets. — Lance Loud

We are coming out to tell the truths about gays, for I am tired of the conspiracy of silence, so I'm going to talk about it. And I want you to talk about it. — Harvey Milk

Make no mistake, hiding one's true self away in a closet and creating a facade of heterosexuality is not without its consequences. It may appear to have a degree of safety but from my experience they are very unhealthy places and do all kinds of terrible things to individuals psychologically, emotionally and behaviourally ... to say nothing of projection. The damage of the fear, shame, guilt and self-loathing that exist inside a closet are often reflected unknowingly in the external life of the individual. In or out of the closet; there is a price to pay. Each individual must weigh up the consequences of honesty, openness, secrecy and deception for themselves. Coming out, for most of us, is like an exorcism that releases us of the darkness we have lived in for years and caused us to believe awful things about ourselves. On the other side of the looking glass are freedom, light and life. — Anthony Venn-Brown

Clary- "How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire. — Cassandra Clare

My experience of coming out was very much centered around the bar scene. And what happened for me is that when I turned 18 and was old enough to get into certain gay bars in the French Quarter, I became a regular customer. — Christopher Rice

For a while I was a completely unknown artist with no fan base and no draw in the clubs. The only people that would give me a shot were the gay clubs. Gay clubs were so open to me coming in and trying things out. — Kiesza

The best thing about coming out is, it's totally liberating. You feel like you've made this incredible discovery about yourself and you want to share it and be open and honest and not spend all your time wondering how is this person going to react, or should I be careful around this person, or what will the neighbors say? And it's more. It's about getting past the question of what's wrong with me, to knowing there's nothing wrong, that you were born this way. You're a normal person and a beautiful person and you should be proud of who you are. You deserve to live with dignity and show people your pride. — Julie Anne Peters

I know I can't tell you what it's like to be gay. But I can tell you what it's not. It's not hiding behind words, Mama. Like family and decency and Christianity. — Armistead Maupin

When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out. — Kate Clinton

If you are in the closet and fall in love with someone of the same gender, it doesn't automatically remove the shame and fear that's kept you locked away. The love you are experiencing encourages you to face the reality that this is who you really are and also has the power to set you free. The richness, beauty and depths of love can only be fully experienced in a climate of complete openness, honesty and vulnerability. Love, the most powerful of human emotions, is calling you to freedom and wholeness. — Anthony Venn-Brown

I think it's kind of awkward when everyone knows you're gay but you don't say it. I had been thinking about coming out for almost a year before I did. I thought about it seriously on the plane ride home from the World Cup, while I was casually talking to my friend Lori Lindsey. She said, "Dude, you should just come out." She was right. Everyone in my life already knew. If you want to stand up and fight for equal rights but then won't even stand up for yourself and say "I'm gay" - that just started to feel weird. — Megan Rapinoe

- Do they know? That you're gay?
- Why waste their time with it? It's not like it'll ever be an issue anyway.
- Yeah, but, it's who you are, right?
- I guess so, - he said. - I don't really know how to be any way else.
- When did you know?
- I was twelve, maybe. Something I just knew one day, even though I hadn't known it the day before.
- So it's like that, huh? A feeling? Not just being into other dudes?
- Oh no, it's that too. Of course it's that. But it's more, I think. Not so much a feeling as a fact, like having blue eyes or brown hair. It's just maybe something you don't discover until you're ready to understand it better.
- Like being straight, - she said. Only we don't have to deal with all that closet bullshit.
- Bingo, - he said. — John Corey Whaley

The October evening is windless and cool. There is a distant throb of a motorcycle. The boy puts his head on one side to get a better fix on the sound. Holding it still, he tries to work out the distance; to hear if the bike is coming closer or moving away; if it's being ridden over level or marshy ground, or up the stony slope on the town side of the hill.

A low groan escapes the man standing over the kneeling boy. With his back pressed to the cliff, the man appears to have merged with his own shadow, become grafted to the rock. He groans again, louder, in increasing frustration, thrusting his hips so his swollen member slides to and fro in the boy's mouth. — Sjon

I don't want to lie about who I am, even if it doesn't matter. It's who I am. It's part of me. — John Corey Whaley

Coming out for gay people is a process, not a one-time event. Some days you feel free, open, and ready to piss on the world if they care what you do in bed. On other days, even if you've been out to yourself and others, you're ready to hide in the darkest closet - because sometimes it is safer, easier, and more secure to hide. — Mark Richard Zubro

When someone comes to a pastor or a close friend and says "I think I'm gay", rest assured 99% are. How we respond creates light or darkness.
Please be aware that when you've never heard anything positive about being gay and you've laboured secretly over this for ages, you don't make a declaration like that lightly. It takes an enormous amount of courage to eventually tell someone. This is not an empowering coming out though or finally finding a place of self-acceptance; the statement is cloaked in fear and shame. The statement "I think I'm gay" is not really about doubt or confusion it's more likely they are saying "I'm gay, but it scares the shit out of me and I don't want to be. Help!"
At that point the pastor or friend has the privileged opportunity to provide a place of safety and compassion that will lead them on into self-acceptance and an authentic life. Handled unwisely could lead them into years of internal torment. — Anthony Venn-Brown

When I meet gay fans out and about, they're so great to talk to - and I'm big on hugging, because I'm from the Midwest. They're just so energetic and loving. I'm proud to have those fans, and their support means a lot to me. I don't want just girls coming to my movies; I want guys to come, too! — Kellan Lutz

Coming out as gay was an easy enough matter for me, since I worked in a profession where being gay had a long history of being accepted. — Stephen Fry

There was a naked jock on my bed and a thing with tentacles coming out of my toilet. One of these things did not belong, and if you tell me that it was the naked jock, you shouldn't be reading this story. — Johnny Murdoc

Cormag caught his hand and pulled him back until they were facing each other. "I think you're amazing," he said, blurting the words out.
Lachlan smiled, completely shocked and thrilled by how captivating he found him.
He had never thought this could happen to him, that he would be attracted to another boy.
He thought he knew himself so well.
"I think you're smart, sexy, funny as hell. You have hidden depths, Lachlan. You only need the right person to coax you out of your protective shell," he claimed.
"Are you the right person?" Lachlan wondered, as he took a half step forward.
Cormag took a deep breath and brushed at a strand of hair that was sticking out at a funny angle from behind the top of his ear. He tugged at his short hair every time he talked about his recent break up. He was such a dork. — Elaine White

Most straight people, and many gay people, especially those who came of age more recently, don't understand how momentous and difficult coming out was to men and women of this generation. It seems so obvious now, so banal. — Christopher Bram

After coming out as gay, I soon felt a lot more comfortable in my life, moment to moment. — Jane Velez-Mitchell

Once," Fran says, settling against the worktable, folding her arms, "I knew this kid who very bravely and bossily came out of the closet when she was only fourteen years old. She told me then that we can't choose who we love. We just love the people we love, no mattter what anyone else might want for us. Wasn't that you? — Madeleine George

Having a baby had always seemed the easiest and most natural thing to do, and I had never felt - even in my most furtive days of coming out - that being gay would mean I could not become a mother. — Kara Swisher

If you look at my life before I went into television, the struggle I went through coming out would be surprising to most people, given how comfortable and how out I am being the only late-night gay talk-show host. — Andy Cohen

If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in. — Bill Maher

Are you sure? What about your grandmother?"
He shrugged as though it didn't matter, and a beaming smile splayed across his mouth. "I'll be out here with you when I come out. — Shaye Evans

The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you've just told them. — Rachel Maddow

Every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family. You must tell your relatives. You must tell your friends if indeed they are your friends. You must tell the people you work with. You must tell the people in the stores you shop in. Once they realize that we are indeed their children, that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and all. And once you do, you will feel so much better — Harvey Milk

In the case of my book, I don't think it's really the coming-out gay novel that everyone really needed, even though it was received as such. The boy is too creepy, he betrays his teacher, the only adult man with whom he's enjoyed a sexual experience, etc. — Edmund White

What is so powerful here is that we have the first federal appellate court and it's a case coming out of Utah affirming in the strongest, clearest, boldest terms that the Constitution guarantees the freedom to marry and equal protection for all Americans and all means all, including gay couples. — Evan Wolfson

It's official, then. Everyone knew I was gay before I did. — Liz Kessler

By the time [of modern] generation was coming of age sexually, there was already this idea of safe sex. But that didn't exist for me. I came out of the free-swinging '60s and '70s. It was free love, baby. That was it. We had very liberal sex-ed classes in 1973, a yearlong environmental science class, and then Women's Lib and Gay Liberation. So it's insane to go from that to Reagan and AIDS. It was like, "What happened? Where's my future?" — Michael Stipe

If she understood the difference between referring to me as "the gay guy" and using my name, the knowledge was lost between her vapid gaze and her single AAA-battery brain. — John Goode

... I processed that. Stephan was gay. He had told me as much. And she had told me that they were purely platonic. I believed them both. Why does she seek him out in her sleep? Were they really so close? A part of me was insanely jealous at the thought that he was that important to her, but I knew instinctively that I couldn't indulge that jealousy. The two of them were too close to tolerate anyone coming between them, and I wouldn't be making that mistake. — R.K. Lilley

I had convinced my father to let me pursue this career, and I passionately wanted it. And here was this conflict in me, and I hadn't shared it with my father. And it was excruciating to always have your guard up. Particularly because, being an actor, you're public and visible. I could be seen coming out of a gay bar. Who could have seen me? — George Takei

When we choose to live authentically we chip away at others prisons of pretend and create an opportunity for them to walk out of darkness into freedom. — Anthony Venn-Brown

When we get to the point where a gay pro athlete is no longer forced to live in fear that he'll be shunned by teammates or outed by tabloids, when we get to the point where he plays while his significant other waits in the family room, when we get to the point where he's not compelled to hide his true self and is able to live an authentic life, then coming out won't be such a big deal. But we're not there yet, — Jason Collins

James, you'd like Lou Reed," Michael insisted. "He was bisexual."
Their laughter turned to coughs. They were all staring at me when I turned around. I told myself to relax.
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "He doesn't sound bisexual."
Michael just shook his head, but Ronan and Glenn smiled.
"They did electroshock therapy on him when he was a teenager," Michael said.
"Electro-what?" said Glenn. "They electrocuted people?"
"Kind of. They zapped their brains to alter their personalities. That's how they tried to make gay people straight back then."
They all looked at me for a response.
I shrugged. "So, he was bisexual? It worked halfway? — Kenneth Logan

Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight. — Harvey Milk

These days everyone was insisting on their identity, coming out as a man, woman, gay, black, Jew - brandishing whichever features they could claim, as if without a tag they wouldn't be human. — Hanif Kureishi

That was the moment when I knew I was in real trouble, that I might really be the kind of person you weren't supposed to be. — Drew Nellins Smith

My family knew I was gay when I was 15, long before I got famous. But it's a very different thing coming out to your family and coming out to the universe. That's a big step. Maybe without me, there wouldn't be Adam Lambert. Without Bowie, there wouldn't be me. Without Quentin Crisp, there wouldn't have been Bowie. So everything is part of a big daisy chain. — Boy George

But thats their image of us so we stay tense, holding our breath, hoping we wont be found out. - about being gay from the film Love My Life — Ebine Yamaji

If I was gay, I wouldn't need an asterisk beside my name. I could stop worrying if the girl I like will bounce when she finds out I also like dick. I could have a coming-out party without people thinking I just want attention. I wouldn't have to explain that I fall in love with minds, not genders or body parts. People wouldn't say I'm 'just a slut' or 'faking it' or 'undecided' or 'confused.' I'm not confused. I don't categorize people by who I'm allowed to like and who I'm allowed to love. Love doesn't fit into boxes like that. It's blurry, slippery, quantum. It's only limited by our perceptions and before we slap a label on it and cram it into some category, everything is possible. — Leah Raeder

Midlife dynamically, for both straight and gay males, is often challenging as we face the reality that many of the dreams we had for our lives might not become a reality and unresolved conflicts come to the surface. For us to successfully transition in to the next phase of our lives we must find reconciliation of these issues. And for the gay male there is a sense that the gay self we have tried to keep in the closet or so many years begins to scream out. "Time is running out. When do I get to live?" You can't ignore that voice in the end, you can try and suppress it, and you can try and deny it, you can try and silence it by filling your life with other noises and diverting attention ... but that voice still exists. "Will my entire life be a lie? — Anthony Venn-Brown

It would be so helpful for the straight community to see men in powerful positions coming out and saying "I'm gay" so they don't have these preconceived notions that all gay men are smarmy idiots living on the street or whatever it is people think of gay men. I think it would be really helpful and productive. — Madonna Ciccone

What's it like to figure out you're gay and then begin the process of coming out? Well, for most of my life, I felt doomed. I could imagine no path that would allow me to realize my authentic self. I felt the need to lie, even to myself, insisting: I am straight. — Jane Velez-Mitchell

It's Miranda who speaks up. "You're gay," she says, with complete seriousness. "And I love you. — David Levithan

It seems to me, then, that vulnerability and and self-disclosure are at the heart of what we understand about the nature of God. And the reason I believe gay and lesbian people are spiritual people is that we too have participated in vulnerability and self-disclosure, especially in the process of coming-out. When someone shares with you who they really, really are, it is a special offering. To do so when it risks rejection is a profound, holy gift. — Gene Robinson

There are those from religious backgrounds who resist and oppose LGBT equality; some very obsessively and publicly. They make bold accusations and negative statements about gay and lesbian people, their supposed "lifestyle" and relationships. But when a son, daughter, brother, sister or close friend comes out it is no longer an "issue" it becomes a person. They realise everything they'd said was painfully targeted at someone they love. Then ... everything changes. — Anthony Venn-Brown

On YouTube, if anything, coming out as gay or bi or trans explodes someone's popularity. — Tyler Oakley

I was raped: I said no and he wouldn't stop. I also had a scar on my back and blood coming out of my ass. To some that's just rough sex. Some would read that sentence and be turned on by that: the 51st Shade of Gay. — Kevin Sessums

And this gay thing. It feels so big. It's almost insurmountable. I don't know how to tell them something like this and still come out of it feeling like Simon. Because if Leah and Nick don't recognize me, I don't even recognize myself anymore. — Becky Albertalli

You're gay," wash stated.
Rhodes nodded, a short jerk of his head, dropping his gaze to his beer.
"As in, you-like-men gay."
Still eying his beer, Rhodes gave an affirmative shrug.
"As in, you like-to-fuck-men gay."
"Yes! — Katie Allen

I like firemen," the cop whispered.
Max leaned in to hear him over the noise and chaos of the rig. "I can never find a gay one."
"Well I like cops," Max pointed out. Was the guy coming on to him? "And the way they use their weapons." ...
... "Your bodies are fiiiine," the patient was slurring. His expression was less focused and more tending towards unconsciousness. "And your hoses, never find a gay one though. — R.J. Scott

I don't care if you wear white to your coming-out party and pretend to be a virgin, but you're gay, Kit. G-A-Y. Gay! So gay, fairies everywhere will weep that your machismo avoided their gaydar for so long. — Tibby Armstrong

All right, I figure I got a beating coming. Let's get at it."
"That's not why I came."
"Why did you then?"
"To find out why you did it."
Jeff looked at the floor. "I don't know."
"Want to do it again? — Catt Ford

When you have a child, you start to dream of how this kid will grow up and make you proud. The only thing you can predict with 100% certainty is that the reality will diverge somehow from that dream. Some of our children will disappoint us by not being the scholars we hoped they would be. Some children will disappoint us by not being the athletes we hoped they would be. Some will disappoint us by coming out and telling us they are gay and they won't give us grandchildren ... the real question is not, what book can I read, what technique can I use to raise a perfect child? The real question is how will you handle that gap between the child you dreamt of having and the real child growing up in your home ... What I have learned is that any religion, if you do it wrong, will leave people feeling condemned and dismissed and unworthy and any religion, if you do it right, will leave people feeling cleansed and firmed. (118) Rabbi Harold Kushner — Carol Lynn Pearson

When you hear of Gay Pride, remember, it was not born out of a need to celebrate being gay.
It evolved out of our need as human beings to break free of oppression and to exist without being criminalized, pathologized or persecuted.
Depending on a number of factors, particularly religion, freeing ourselves from gay shame and coming to self-love and acceptance, can not only be an agonising journey, it can take years.
Tragically some don't make it.
Instead of wondering why there isn't a straight pride be grateful you have never needed one.
Celebrate with us. — Anthony Venn-Brown