Combat Humor Quotes & Sayings

Every now and then a green dot shifted to yellow. A soldier down, their armored suits detecting the injuries or death that rendered them combat ineffective. Combat ineffective. Such a nice euphemism for one of his kids bleeding out. — James S.A. Corey

Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you're (linguistically) dead. — David Crystal

With everyone lounging around, eating sleeping, sunning, pooping, it looks like some weird combat version of an outdoor rock festival. — Evan Wright

There was some kind of commotion going on in the suite, which shouldn't have been a surprise considering it was his family's suite. The air was filled with cursing, exclamations, and grunts of physical combat.
"Leo?" Beatrix appeared from the main receiving room and hurried over to them.
"Beatrix, darling!" Leo was amazed by the difference the past two and a half years had made in his youngest sister. "How you've grown
"
"Yes, never mind that," she said impatiently, snatching the ferret from him. "Go in there and help Mr. Rohan!"
"Help him with what?"
"He's trying to stop Merripen from killing Dr. Harrow."
"Already?" Leo asked blankly, and rushed into the receiving room. — Lisa Kleypas

Some of the best work done to combat the Republicans has been wit and humor. — Julianna Baggott

One of the reasons the whole Hollywood way of making films wouldn't work for me is because the way I operate would be anathema to anyone who wants to hold a job down in Beverly Hills. — Mike Leigh

He could do this. He'd survived boot camp. He'd survived combat and the harsh weather of Afghanistan. He could survive broccoli. Probably. — Shannon Stacey

I'm very encouraged. This is progress. There are two or three ways to combat homophobia - one is through humor. The second is to put a face on it. People are becoming much more enlightened. — Leslie Jordan

Fauve clenched her fists and bounded up from her bed, her gloom vanished in a rush of combat, which translated itself into the one eternal question which can make any female creature forget even such profound questions as the brevity of youth, the fleetingness of time.
What was she going to wear ? — Judith Krantz

My backup plan is to challenge Bearbreaker to single combat, defeat him, become Queen of the Zerkers and spend the rest of my life riding a giant motorcycle over frozen tundra. — D.D. Barant

Laeth returned her smile with one as wicked, as he posed the favorite question of one of the combat instructors, "How many ways are there to kill a person with a knife?"
"It doesn't matter, it only takes one to do the job," returned Rialla. — Patricia Briggs

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword. — Derek Landy

Do not miss your children's childhood. Do not be away 200 nights a year as I was. Do not put strains on your marriage or family. — Joe Scarborough

Get fat if you can, boys. Tomorrow's bringin' her sister. — Gary Prisk

I gave him my Order smile: sweet grin, hard eyes, reached over to my passenger seat, and pulled out my submachine gun. About twenty-seven inches long, the HK was my favorite toy for close-quarters combat. The rider's eyes went wide.
"This is an HK UMP submachine gun. Renowned for its stopping power and reliability. Cyclic rate of fire: eight hundred rounds per minute. That means I can empty this thirty-round clip into you in less than three seconds. At this range, I'll cut you in half." It wasn't strictly true but it sounded good. "You see what it says on the barrel?"
On the barrel, pretty white letters spelled out PARTY STARTER. — Ilona Andrews

I was going to say he's aimless," the witch replied. "I know he's a bit old to be old to living at home with his mom, but he's had a difficult time holding a job. He's worked at Wendy's, Taco Bell, and Burger King, but it all ends the same way- he challenges his manager to combat, takes over the restaurant, and enslaves his coworkers. Then it's back to video games." - Morgan le Fay — Michael Buckley

If we adopted Jack," I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance — Daven Anderson

Each year, I pick something new to learn. One year, it was learning how to knit, and I got 'The Sweethearts' Knitting Club' out of the experience. Another year, it was to volunteer at the local domestic abuse shelter, and I ended up volunteering there for three years. — Lori Wilde

A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. — Douglas Adams

I touched my scalp where Sula had wrapped the cloth. It still burned, but it made me feel important. I'd been wounded in combat. Anyone could break a leg or dislocate a sholder, but how many people get shot? I could tell by the way Will was looking at me that he was impressed too and not a little bit jealous. I would have quickly traded the head wound, however, for a glass of clean water. — Cameron Stracher

If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you've left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. — Jim Butcher

Drainage tubes ran out of his belly and side, and there was a catheter the size of a pencil coming out his penis. Nothing particularly hurt, so he had to assume he was on pretty nearly all the narcotics there were. — James S.A. Corey

I was a product of a divorced family and I used humor as a weapon to combat sadness. I used comedy to make my mother laugh in light of the darkness that she faced, and to me it became a very powerful tool at a very young age, at six. I saw how therapeutic it could be. — Josh Gad

Terrorists can endanger some of us, but the war on terror endangers us all. How much more can the Constitution be diminished before it is completely replaced by arbitrary government power? — Paul Craig Roberts

Writing a first-draft battle scene is akin to real combat - chaos, confusion, and you must keep your cool as you fire word bullets downrange. — Don Roff

Press bravely onward! - not in vainYour generous trust in human kind;The good which bloodshed could not gainYour peaceful zeal shall find. — John Greenleaf Whittier

I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor. — Joel McHale

You teach combat, I guess."
Aphros threw up his hands in exasperation. "Why does everyone assume that?"
Leo glanced at the massive sword on the fish-guy's back. "Uh, I don't know. — Rick Riordan

Trained in combat?" repeated Harry incredulously. "What does he think we're doing here, forming some sort of wizard army?"
"That's exactly what he thinks you're doing," said Sirius, "or rather, that's exactly what he's afraid of Dumbledore's doing
forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic."
There was a pause in this, then Ron said, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, including all the stuff that Luna Lovegood comes out with. — J.K. Rowling

Ochoa pulled the door and held it open for her. Nikki pivoted around the jamb, squaring her aim up the hall. She stopped, still holding her combat stance, shook her head, and mumbled, "Mother ... "
... Rook was standing halfway up the hall with Paxton snugged behind him holding the gun to his head. He looked at Nikki sheepishly and said, "So, I'm gonna guess it's Noah. — Richard Castle

Women who do not play hard to get are hard to get. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana