Comady Quotes & Sayings

Alright so Evil Conevil, yeah. They're always asking him about that time he messed up. And the strangest question I've ever heard them ask is
'So evil what were you thinking right before you hit the ground?' how much stupider can you get?
'well, Bob. I was thinking, Hey! Did I leave the iron on? and when my lag broke in half, Hey! I should get a puppy! No! What do you think I was thinking? I was thinking AAAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAA!!!! AAAAAA!!! — Brian Regan

Jeff: You know most people who've had near death experiances say they say a white light. What did you see?

Akmed: I saw flying car parts!


Jeff: What was the last thing that went through your mind?


Akmed: My ass. But I saw a blue Prius! Is it true you have one of those? Did you know that if your driving down the highway in a Prius and you stick your hand out the window the car will turn?! — Jeff Dunham

Dense overgrown forests and rangelands have grown like a cancer. They need to be treated. — Gale Norton

I run for president because I believe that we can't just save the American dream; we can expand it to reach more people and change more lives than ever before. — Marco Rubio

I don't think Alfonso was a big expert on Potter either. He was feeling his way through it more than I was. — David Thewlis

Oh, so how did the marrige counsling go?


Well let's just say after it was over there where two people who thought I was an ass. And i was paying both of 'um. — Jeff Dunham

Then I enter the crawlspace deep inside me and shut the hatch. Because I'm not coming back out. Ever. — Jandy Nelson

I brought you something. It's my sister's coat. It
gets cold in Nashville in the wintertime. — Nancy B. Brewer