Coffee Funnies Quotes & Sayings

If humans one day become extinct from a catastrophic collision, there would be no greater tragedy in the history of life in the universe. Not because we lacked the brain power to protect ourselves but because we lacked the foresight. The dominant species that replaces us in post-apocalyptic Earth just might wonder, as they gaze upon our mounted skeletons in their natural history museums, why large-headed Homo sapiens fared no better than the proverbially pea-brained dinosaurs. — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

It almost makes me cry to tell, what foolish Harriet befell. — Heinrich Hoffmann

When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?' — Dane Cook

And it seems to me that everyone is like me - they're all afraid of the slightest movement ... Everyone's sitting all closed up in his own glass cage waiting for something. — Yevgeny Zamyatin

If I had only known kittens can climb drapes, perch on top of a traverse rod, and then screech like some femme fatale in a low budget horror flick to be rescued. That a kitten sounds like a herd of buffalo running on hardwood floors in the middle of the night. If I had only known a kitten's claws can sink through a sheet into your balls while you're jerking off. An old adage says, "Live and learn," and I amassed an encyclopedic amount out cat wisdom in less than twenty-four hours. — K.C. Kendricks

I do not believe in democracy, but I am perfectly willing to admit that it provides the only really amusing form of government ever endured by mankind. — H.L. Mencken

This idea that in order to make a decision you need to focus on the consequences (which you can know) rather than the probability (which you can't know) is the central idea of uncertainty. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

When we have the Holy Spirit we have all that is needed to be all that God desires us to be. — Aiden Wilson Tozer

I can't be fixed."
"You're committed to being broken forever?"
"Goddamit, Colton. Why are you doing this? You don't know me."
"I want to." It's the answer to both of her statements. — Jasinda Wilder

You need to know that going in, and you also need to be able to write all the time. So when somebody looks at you across the table and says, "What do you think about a movie where Miley Cyrus switches souls with a basset hound?" You need to be able to sit there and figure out how to make that possibly shootable. — Robert Ben Garant

When I used to live in Toronto, I would always be the busiest person out of all my friends ... no one could relate to what I was doing. When I'm in L.A., I constantly feel like I'm keeping up with people, and I love that. — Lilly Singh

My first part was in a film where I played a sadomasochist who killed people and created fun orgies. I'm a method actor. I went to every orgy in the world. — Javier Bardem

Winning isn't the only goal, sometimes finishing is more important. — Katie Graykowski

I cannot get myself interested in video games. I've been given video game players and they just sit there connected to my TVs gathering dust until eventually I unplug them so I can put in another special-region DVD player. — Quentin Tarantino

'Molto Mario' was the show that sparked my entire interest in cooking. — Action Bronson