Cocky Funny Quotes & Sayings

But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky. — Chelsea Handler

Were all conning ourselves, one way or another, just to get through life. — Christian Bale

How did you get in here?' ( ... ) 'How I got here isn't important, because I could do it twenty times again, each time a different way. — Rachel Aaron

Words are some of the most powerful and important things I know ... Language is the tool of love and the weapon of hatred. It's the bright red warning flag of danger
and the stone foundation of diplomacy and peace. — Ani DiFranco

We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved. — Paul Morley

Stories help you understand your life,
she'd say. Stories can heal. And I think she's right, because why do old guys back from the war tell their experiences again and again? Why did people of long ago make up elaborate tales of mythical beings? Why do people sit in a room and reveal the pieces of their life to doctors trained to listen, and why are they cured by doing that? Why
libraries? Come on, all those stories, pieces of life told again and again. We need them. Stories are a ritual that put all the crazy shit about life into a form that makes sense. We're all like the little kids that need to be read the same story over and over again. — Deb Caletti

Society would not tolerate legislation declaring that the theory that the sun circles the earth be given equal time with the theory of a heliocentric solar system; it should not pay attention to the equally preposterous notions of scientific creationism — Robert E. Ornstein

Two buckets were easier carried than one. / I grew up in between. — Seamus Heaney

He wears his cockiness like an ironic T-shirt, but it fits him better. — Gillian Flynn

Nothing frustrates people more than a cocky guy who's still winning. — Criss Jami

I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet. — Mitch Hedberg

Nothing amuses people more than a cocky guy who starts losing. — Criss Jami

Even when I cannot write, I know I am still a writer, just the way I know I am still sexual even if I have not had a lover for many months. — Olga Broumas

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. — Kinky Friedman

How dare you. Do you have any idea who I am?" Laurence whined.
"I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. — Mark A. Cooper

I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky. — Mike Birbiglia

Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon."
Daemon's grin went up a notch. "Nah, she likes my ass too much for that. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of. — Kathy Lette

Laurence the last time I saw something like you I flushed it away. — Mark A. Cooper

Laura wanted all of it back, every moment, so that she could live it all over again. — Emma Straub

At once, it's clear I cannot gush. We try me playing cocky, but I just don't have the arrogance. Apparently, I'm too "vulnerable" for ferocity. I'm not witty. Funny. Sexy. Or mysterious By the end of the session, I am no one at all. — Suzanne Collins

That day will never come. I'll be the last bachelor standing." Dylan made a show of looking at his watch. "And if I hustle, I can still meet, mingle and be the answer to some woman's sexual prayers. Let's hit it before she settles on second best. — Jory Strong

So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you'd really notice it of course; just kinda on paper. And that of course was at the end of the Civil War. Now there is another phrase I dearly love. That is a true oxymoron if I've ever heard one: "Civil War." Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? "Say, pardon me?" (shoots gun) "I'm awfully sorry. Awfully sorry." — George Carlin

The individual is not accountable to society for his actions in so far as these concern the interests of no person but himself. — John Stuart Mill

I don't know. I think I've seen this movie, and it doesn't turn out so well for me."
I smiled at that, even though she hadn't meant it to be funny. "How much you want to bet? I'm sure you've seen nature shows on alpha males or pack leaders or whatever - the whole flock of sheep thing, right?" I turned my smile extra confident because I know it annoys her when I act cocky. "Aves,Grayson Kennedy is at the top of the Spanish Fork High food chain. I'm the king of the jungle. My friends will like you because I like you. — Kelly Oram

What I saw transformed with a click like a shaken kaleidoscope. I stopped falling in love with her and started to like her immensely. — Tana French

We are watched by a thousand eagle eyes; let us so act that we shall never need to care if all heaven, and earth, and hell, swelled the list of spectators. — Charles Haddon Spurgeon

My wife was a Bond girl, in Diamonds Are Forever, so I play James Bond in real life every day. — Robert Wagner

Dear God, I pray for patience and I want it right now. — Oren Arnold