Clevinger Quotes & Sayings

The only times you say what I'm thinking, it's without any of the sarcasm and therefore the exact opposite of what I mean. — Brian Clevinger

There is a God! And his name be Awesome, the Mighty. — Brian Clevinger

... You can only properly oppress people through a stability bordering on stagnation. — Brian Clevinger

Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all. And if that wasn't funny, there were lots of things that weren't even funnier. There was nothing funny about living like a bum in a tent in Pianosa between fat mountains behind him and a placid blue sea in front that could gulp down a person with a cramp in the twinkling of an eye and ship him back to shore three days later, all charges paid, bloated, blue and putrescent, water draining out through both cold nostrils. — Joseph Heller

Who's they?" He wanted to know. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?"
"Every one of them," Yossarian told him.
"Every one of whom?"
"Every one of whom do you think?"
"I haven't any idea."
"Then how do you know they aren't?"
"Because ... " Clevinger sputtered, and turned speechless with frustration.
Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all. — Joseph Heller

Is this going anywhere? I have some important "Not being in the same room as you" to get done. — Brian Clevinger

When your future self tells you to do something, YOU DO IT. — Brian Clevinger

I'm STREET. ... I've been ON a street, anyway... — Brian Clevinger

The only way I could care less about what you're talking about is if you keep talking. — Brian Clevinger

Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times. — Joseph Heller

Well, maybe it's true,' Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. 'Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?'
'I do,' Dunbar told him.
'Why?' Clevinger asked.
'What else is there? — Joseph Heller

Your words are fire giants besieging the Asgard of my mind. — Brian Clevinger

'You haven't got a chance kid,' he had told him glumly.'They hate Jews.'
'But I'm not Jewish,' answered Clevinger.
'It will make no difference,' Yossarian promised, and Yossarian was right. 'They're after everybody. — Joseph Heller

It's really my fault because I continue listening to the things that you say. — Brian Clevinger

In short, he was a dope. He often looked to Yossarian like one of those people hanging around modern museums with both eyes together on one side of a face. It was an illusion, of course, generated by Clevinger's predilection for staring fixedly at one side of a question and never seeing the other side at all. — Joseph Heller

As far back as Yossarian could recall, he explained to Clevinger with a patient smile, somebody was always hatching a plot to kill him. There were people who cared for him and people who didn't, and those who hated him were out to get him. They hated him because he was Assyrian. But they couldn't touch him, he told Clevinger, because he had a sound mind in a pure body and was as strong as an ox. They couldn't touch him because he was Tarzan, Mandrake, Flash Gordon. He was Bill Shakespeare. He was Cain, Ulysses, the Flying Dutchman; he was Lot in Sodom, Deirdre of the Sorrows, Sweeney in the nightingales among trees. He was miracle ingredient Z-247. He was -
Crazy!" Clevinger interrupted, shrieking. "That's what you are! Crazy!" "immense. I'm a real slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide Supraman."
"Superman?" Clevinger cried. "Superman?"
Supraman," Yossarian corrected. — Joseph Heller

Well, the good news is I killed the space monster. — Brian Clevinger

As always occurred when he quarreled over principles in which he believed passionately, he would end up gasping furiously for air and blinking back bitter tears of conviction. There were many principles in which Clevinger believed passionately. He was crazy. — Joseph Heller

I really need to restructure my life so I can spend more time reading abstracts and less time punching dinosaurs."

- Atomic Robo — Brian Clevinger

In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed. — Brian Clevinger

Okay, it's a matter of company policy from now on. You must build a reverse polarity setting into all experiments. — Brian Clevinger

We know the thing is four months away. Technically, it's already there and we're four months away. — Brian Clevinger

Were you the cryptid?"
"Bah. Your FACE was the crypid. — Brian Clevinger

Sorry, I was a philosophy major, so nutjob cultist is the only job I can hold. — Brian Clevinger

They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly.
No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried.
Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked.
They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone."
And what difference does that make? — Joseph Heller

Ooh, I know! You took a course of action so circumlocutious that it would've been faster AND easier for all parties if you just killed yourself? — Brian Clevinger

Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out — Joseph Heller

I should imagine that space-time as we now know it will hold no meaning for me at that stage of evolution. I'll be a chick magnet. — Brian Clevinger

We're not trapped in here with them. They're trapped in here with Jenkins. — Brian Clevinger

Everyone agreed that Clevinger was certain to go far in the academic world. In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, — Joseph Heller

In short, he was a dope. Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out. In short, he was a dope. He often looked to Yossarian like one of those people hanging around modern museums with both eyes together on one side of a face. It was an illusion, of course, generated by Clevinger's predilection for staring fixedly at one side of a question and never seeing the other side at all. Politically, he was a humanitarian who did know right from left and was trapped uncomfortably between the two. He was constantly defending his Communist friends to his right-wing enemies and his right-wing friends to his Communist enemies, and he was thoroughly detested by both groups, who never defended him to anyone because they thought he was a dope. He was a very serious, very earnest and very conscientious dope. — Joseph Heller

Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any step will have no impact on the macro level. — Brian Clevinger

Black Mage: I was joking.
Red Mage: OH. See, I was confused by the total lack of comedy. — Brian Clevinger

Life is funny. You start out with limitless potential, but time is always shaving away the possibilities. Every choice you make is the choice not to do a thousand other things. What's important, when all is said and done, is that you made a difference. Your choices, and everything undone, have to mean something. Otherwise, what was the point? I'm lucky that way. My path was already there. I had only to walk it. I often thought even if no one knew of the good I had done with my life, it didn't matter. That it was done is all that counts in the end. But then I died. And I hadn't gotten to do any of it yet. — Brian Clevinger

Every day with you is an adventure I never wanted. Like swimming naked through shards of glass. — Brian Clevinger

But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong. — Joseph Heller

Colonel Korn's rule was a stroke of genius, Colonel Korn explained in his report to Colonel Cathcart. Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did. Soon the only people attending were those who never asked questions, and the sessions were discontinued altogether, since Clevinger, the corporal and Colonel Korn agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything. Colonel — Joseph Heller

If we were to plot the distance between where you are RIGHT NOW and the nearest good idea, it would describe a line too big to fit inside the universe. — Brian Clevinger

Clevinger was a troublemaker and a wise guy. Lieutenant Scheisskopf knew that Clevinger might cause even more trouble if he wasn't watched. Yesterday it was the cadet officers; tomorrow it might be the world. Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskopf had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times. Such men were dangerous, and even the new cadet officers whom Clevinger had helped into office were eager to give damning testimony against him. The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with. — Joseph Heller

Lies aren't true, so why would anyone tell them? — Brian Clevinger