Famous Quotes & Sayings

Cleaning Funny Quotes & Sayings

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Top Cleaning Funny Quotes

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Allen Tate

A poem may be an instance of morality, of social conditions, of psychological history; it may instance all its qualities, but never one of them alone, nor any two or three; never less than all. — Allen Tate

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Michel De Montaigne

It is in vain that we get upon stilts, for once on them, it is still with our legs that we must walk. And on the highest throne in the world we are still sitting on our own ass. — Michel De Montaigne

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Tina Fey

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. — Tina Fey

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Rebecca DeMarino

He told m the best advice he could ever give me is all in this book. We need God's constant help and blessings. Both are in the pages of the Bible. — Rebecca DeMarino

Cleaning Funny Quotes By James Lileks

I don't believe in the very concept of "first thing in the morning." I'm a "third thing in the afternoon" fellow. — James Lileks

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Paul Tillich

Man lives 'in' meanings, in that which is valid logically, esthetically, religiously. The most fundamental expression of this fact is the language which gives man the power to abstract from the concretely given and, after having abstracted from it, to return to it, to interpret and transform it. The most vital being is the being which has the word and is by the word liberated from bondage to the given. — Paul Tillich

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Iain M. Banks

First person singular obtaining colloquial orgasm within a Caledonian sandwich' it said, then looked annoyed, and spoke incoherently into a grille set in its belly which replied. It looked up and said, 'Sorry, as I was saying: I come in peace — Iain M. Banks

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Rachel Caine

Great," Shane said. "Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners."
"And to cleaning," Michael said.
"Look who's talking, Didn't the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in your room? — Rachel Caine

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Jim Sheeler

The medals no-one will ever wear should be the ones that reflect the most. It's not an ending, it's not a period at the end of their lives, it's a semicolon. The story will continue to be told. — Jim Sheeler

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I've seen women insist on cleaning everything in the house before they could sit down to write ... and you know it's a funny thing about house cleaning ... it never comes to an end. Perfect way to stop a woman. — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Scott Hildreth

We don't always plan what happens in our life. Sometimes things just unravel — Scott Hildreth

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Chelsea Handler

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail. — Chelsea Handler

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Tiffanie DeBartolo

I had the feeling I'd just found something I didn't even know I'd lost. We hovered above the moment like two rain clouds, until I said: Don't swear off all fruit just because you ate one bad apple. — Tiffanie DeBartolo

Cleaning Funny Quotes By David Sedaris

The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live ... — David Sedaris

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Ralph Waldo Emerson

The soul refuses limits and always affirms an optimism, never a pessimism. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Marie Kondo

Marathon tidying produces a heap of garbage. At this stage, the one disaster that can wreak more havoc than an earthquake is the entrance of that recycling expert who goes by the alias of "mother. — Marie Kondo

Cleaning Funny Quotes By C.J. Cherryh

A bizarre hysteria, perhaps, that point which many reached here, when anger was all that mattered. It led to self-destruction. — C.J. Cherryh

Cleaning Funny Quotes By J.M. Barrie

You won't forget me, Peter, will you, before spring-cleaning time comes?
Of course Peter promised, and then he flew away. He took Mrs. Darling's kiss with him. The kiss that had been for no one else Peter took quite easily. Funny. But she seemd satisfied. — J.M. Barrie

Cleaning Funny Quotes By Brian Regan

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?" — Brian Regan