Church Bulletin Funny Quotes & Sayings

Would you please publish the enclosed manuscript or return it without delay, as I have other irons in the fire. — Elinor Glyn

According to [the Bible], a leader is first and foremost a servant. His concern is not for himself; his concern is not to give orders, to boss other people around, to have his own way. His concern is to meet the needs of others. — Wayne Mack

Do not be afraid to preach the gospel; Jesus was not afraid to die on the cross. — Felix Wantang

We were at the edge of space. The boundary I'd dreamed of crossing my entire life. I'd never really believed I'd get the chance to do it during my lifetime - let alone today, when I should've been in my first-period civics class. — Ernest Cline

There are five types of laughter to choose from. You can giggle, chuckle, howl, chortle, and, in extreme cases when you're wearing a monocle, even guffaw. — Colin Nissan

Quotations cause all kinds of trouble. — Willis Regier

My reflection tells one story.
My heart, a different one.
The difference is,
hearts don't lie.
Mirrors do. — Lisa Schroeder

Because I cannot rely on myself, I rely on Him, twenty-four hours a day. — Mother Teresa

After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. — Peter Kurten