Christmas Lampoon Quotes & Sayings

How absurd to take the credit of doing the good act on oneself and lay the blame for the evil act on the Lord! — Swami Vivekananda

She heard its echo in the sound of the forest, in her heartbeat, and his. — Labake Akinyosoye

He eradicates his lips slightly. — Lena Black

A story is told of a Quaker man who knew how to live independently as the valued person God had created Him to be. One night as he was walking down the street with a friend he stopped at a newsstand to purchase an evening paper. The storekeeper was very sour, rude, and unfriendly. The Quaker man treated him with respect and was quite kind in his dealing with him. He paid for his paper, and he and his friend continued to walk down the street. The friend said to the Quaker, "How could you be so cordial to him with the terrible way he was treating you?" The Quaker man replied, "Oh, he is always that way; why should I let him determine how I am going to act? — Joyce Meyer

A race car driver must be very selfish. It is a cold truth: even his family must came second to the race. — Garth Stein

Are you sure you aren't a porn star?"
Emilio licked his lips and reached up to wipe a damp spot from his cheek.
"Nah. Just a slut. — Santino Hassell

I always say that if I end up in a relationship where I feel like seventy-five percent of what I was looking for is there, then I've already won, then we're all winners in that relationship. — Sara Quin

It is a symbol evoking a reality that touches the depths of the person ... the light of goodness that vanquishes evil, of love that overcomes hatred, of life that defeats death. — Pope Benedict XVI

Sometimes an obstacle is placed in front of us by God for the purpose of upgrading our vision and experiencing our dream at a higher level. The obstacle can only be here by permission of God, so it has to help us become what He is seeing about us. — Graham Cooke

I guess in Hollywood you chart your life by Oscars. You say to each other, 'Remember when that movie won that year? It was 2006. Remember that?' — Ang Lee

There was one of his lonelinesses coming, one of those times when he walked the streets or sat, aimless and depressed, biting a pencil at his desk. It was a self-absorption with no comfort, a demand for expression with no outlet, a sense of time rushing by, ceaselessly and wastefully - assuaged only by that conviction that there was nothing to waste, because all efforts and attainments were equally valueless. — F Scott Fitzgerald

We are one. Man, horse, lance, we are one beast of blood and wood and iron. — George R R Martin

Humor helps us get through life with a modicum of grace. It offers one of the few benign ways of coping with the absurdity of it all. — Diane Keaton

Until the last great war, a general expectation of material improvement was an idea peculiar to Western man. Now war and its aftermath have made economic and social progress a political imperative in every quarter of the globe. — Lester B. Pearson

I want to sit with 80- and 90-year-old people more than anyone. They have played this game before. Not one of them has told me, 'I wish I had more money.' — Gary Vaynerchuk