Christmas Funnies Quotes & Sayings

Our hearts are broken today for the parents and grandparents, sisters and brothers of these children and the families of the adults we lost ... May god bless the memory of the victims and in the words of scripture heal the broken hearted and bind up their wounds. — Barack Obama

Slinky as a lynx, hot as pepper, cool as rain, dry as smoke. There's considerably more to her than staying sexy at 60. — Ros Asquith

Man's freedom is relative and it cannot be held solely responsible for the imperfection of his nature. — Sri Aurobindo

We fought about it endlessly. He even went as far as to set up meetings with prominent girls in our social circle, attempting to make me a one woman man with a purposeful relationship. When I would bed these girls and leave them, Grandfather finally gave up. — Sadie Grubor

Just as you can't become a marathon runner by watching marathons on TV, likewise for science, you have to go through the thought processes of doing science and not just watch your instructor do it. — Eric Mazur

I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain. — Demetri Martin

I want my channel to be a place people go even if they don't care about Lilly. I don't want them to have to know about Lilly or care about me as a person to enjoy my content. — Lilly Singh

It is commonly said that a good horse should have fifteen properties and conditions, namely: three of a man, three of a woman, three of a fox, three of a hare and three of an ass: like a man, he should be bold, proud and hardy; like a woman, he should be fair breasted, fair of hair and easy to lie upon; like a fox, he should have a fair tail, short ears and go with a good trot; like a hare, he should have a great eye, a dry head and run well; and like an ass, he should have a big chin, a flat leg and a good hoof. — Ian Mortimer

T'is true: there's magic in the web of it ... — William Shakespeare

My witness is the empty sky.
My reward is the perfect blue sky at dawn in the desert in a bird-resounding riverbottom grove. — Jack Kerouac

More than 1.1 million taxpayers in Pennsylvania will enjoy a lower tax rate, more than 1.4 million married couples will benefit from the reduction in the marriage penalty, and more than 1.1 million parents will have the advantage of an increased child tax credit. — Tim Murphy

The two stand in the fast-thinning throng of victims, but they speak as if they were alone. Eye to eye, voice to voice, hand to hand, heart to heart, these two children of the Universal Mother, else so wide apart and differing, have come together on the dark highway, to repair home together and to rest in her bosom. — Charles Dickens

It would be better, in a way, if any adults present were completely uneducated. There is nothing children like more than passing on information they have just discovered to people who may not already have it - an elderly grandmother, for instance. — Sugata Mitra

And so, we end with a beginning. Because every ending is really a beginning. All you need is a house that's old and creaky ... filled with lots of books ... a cat ... a person who's willing to try again ... someone who promises never to leave ... and most important of all ... a little Hope. — Kate Klise