Chocolate Valentine's Day Quotes & Sayings

I was sort of traumatized by girls in the third grade. Because there was a girl in my third grade class I had a crush on. I bought her a box of Valentine's Day chocolate. And I put it in her cubby with a note that said something like, 'I am deeply in love with you, Your Secret Admirer.' And I didn't sign my name. — Steve Carell

I hated Valentine's Day even before I was aware of my Duff status. Honestly, I didn't even understand why it was a holiday. Really, it was just an excuse for girls to whine about being lonely and for guys to worm their way into getting laid. I found it materialistic, indulgent, and, with all of the chocolate, completely unhealthy. — Kody Keplinger

The most popular Valentine's Day gift is chocolate. In the 1800's, doctors told their patients to eat chocolate to get over a broken heart. They also thought if you're going to be alone, who cares if you get fat. — Craig Ferguson

Valentine's Day gifts like teddy bears, chocolate and perfume are SO lame. How about be thoughtful and original? — Christopher Michael Cillizza

Demands for healthy food choices were like New Year's resolutions. Top priority on Boxing Day, forgotten with time to spare for Valentine's chocolate. — Richard A. Lovett

New Rule: This Valentine's Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts. — Bill Maher

Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell you from last year, uh, even if they do like chocolate, they don't want it from their son. — Jon Stewart

Valentine's Day is celebrated a little differently here in L.A. Nobody eats chocolate because of the calories, so people give each other tofu-shaped boxes filled with bean curd. Then they fantasize about what their Pilates instructor would be like if he was straight. — Craig Ferguson

I'll know coffee works without cream and sugar when I see people buying unsweetened bakers chocolate for Valentine's Day. — Kevin Sinnott